The video of "My daughter was scolded for failing to eat corn" blew up how many "table-style education" parents have exploded

Is the atmosphere good when you eat at your house?

Some time ago, a video became popular, and the general content is as follows:

The child knocked over the watermelon juice in the bowl, and originally thought that his parents would scold him,

As a result, Dad came over with a tissue to help clean up, and he didn't mean to blame him at all

The child looked at his mother again, and the mother smiled and said, "It's okay."

At this time, the child let go of his nervousness, and while telling his mother that he wanted to cry, he picked up a tissue to help wipe the table

At present, this everyday video has more than 900,000 likes and more than 100,000 messages.

The resonance of netizens seems to come from the suffocating dinner table education:

"I accidentally broke a bowl when I was a kid and my dad said I was blind"

"The first reaction is the fear that the child will be scolded"

"When eating, not only parents say it, but relatives also say it"

The reason why this mother can calmly deal with her son's recklessness is also because she was one of the "victims" of dinner table education:

"I remember vividly the taste of education at the dinner table, and I don't want my children to try the taste of bibimbap."

It was originally a warm scene of a family gathering around to eat lively, but it became a purgatory ground for all the children's crimes.

The relationship between parents and children often begins with these neglected details...

"Tears are my next meal".

Some children find solace at the dinner table, while others gain sadness at the dinner table.

The China Youth Research Center has released a survey of 2,500 students interviewed.

More than half of the children have been criticized by their parents at mealtimes, mainly in two forms: nagging; Criticism and accusation.

This behavior is also called "dinner table education", which can be understood as parents preaching to their children at the dinner table.

Preaching is just a nice statement, more of a criticism, accusation, suppression...

Although parents may not be able to understand their children very well, they can often sting children's self-esteem accurately.

There was a girl who recorded a scene with her parents:

At noon that day, she made the meal and called her parents to come over for dinner, and just picked up a piece of corn and was gnawing on it, but she heard her mother's sudden accusation:

"You know no, you're a loser."

Although she clearly felt that the girl's emotions were affected, she did not react immediately at the moment, but continued to nibble on the corn.

After a while, she couldn't hold it anymore, and her eyes were full of tears.

Later, I learned that the girl's family was not wealthy, so in order to help her parents reduce the burden.

Take the initiative to do housework, contract three meals a day, and also work part-time in spare time.

is so sensible, she still can't meet the standard of "excellent" in her mother's heart.

At that moment, she was very aggrieved.

Being criticized by your dearest people at the dinner table is more uncomfortable than not being able to eat.

A netizen said that when he was a child, he was looking forward to eating with his parents and listening to them talk about his parents' shortcomings.

I don't know when it started, my parents talked less and less at the dinner table, and the most they said was criticism of themselves:

At first, I just asked about the recent learning status, but it gradually evolved into turning over old accounts and making all kinds of accusations against myself.

Now he is not interested in eating with his family at all, and he still feels anxious.

"I like to educate my children at the dinner table, and the effect is good, because if the child doesn't listen to me, I won't let him eat."

A mother who agrees with dinner table education once talked about her parenting experience on her social platform.

She thinks that spending a lot of time with children at the dinner table, and not letting them eat is a wonderful punishment for them who do not act independently.

But is the dinner table education really as she said, can make children obedient?

A news that happened in Danyang City,

Xiao Zhao, a 10-year-old boy, went to the restaurant with his parents to eat after school.

At the dinner table, because of the problem of bad grades, his father criticized him a few words and urged him to hurry up and go home to write his homework after eating.

He and his mom came home later.

When the couple returned home, they did not find the child, and even the schoolbag disappeared.

After contacting the nearby police and looking for a long time, they found their "runaway" son in the park.

He said: "I thought that after talking about him, he would go home and study hard, but I didn't expect him to dare to run out blindly." ”

Many parents misunderstand that if they want their children to be obedient, they often have to use reason and methods, not threats.

There are also people who choose to suppress their emotions at the dinner table when they are not independent when they are young.

But when they grow up, they reduce or even refuse to interact with their parents.

As the old saying goes, you don't have to blame for your diet.

It's telling everyone not to reprimand children during meals,

Not only will children lose their appetite, but they will also lose their desire to be with their parents.

What's more,

When the child is emotionally unstable, crying and other things will cause choking and foreign bodies, which will affect the child's physical health.

Psychologically speaking,

The stomach and intestines are closely related to people's emotions, and when they are in a bad mood, they can cause indigestion and difficulty eating.

Your rebuke may make the child feel pain both physically and mentally.

The reunion table was warm, not a cold interrogation scene.

I have to admit that

Educating children to divide the occasion is the wisdom and pattern of parents.

Just like the girl who eats corn in the first paragraph, her mother's best practice,

It should be to praise her daughter for making a good dish and thank her for her dedication to the family.

This not only recognizes her, but also motivates her to do better in the future.

If you feel that your daughter is putting too much energy into the family, she doesn't have her own life, or she doesn't live a wonderful life.

It's not that parents can't say that they can knock on the side:

"You've done enough for your family, but we want you to live your life the way you are."

And it's certain that she:

"You can take good care of your home, and you can also work hard for your future."

Will her daughter still feel aggrieved?

She will only feel that she is valuable, affirmed, and will have a vision for the future.

Educating children is not as complicated as imagined, it is just the art of time, occasion, and language.

If you just want to vent your dissatisfaction, you have to bear the fact that your child is getting farther and farther away from you.

You must know that children's problems in life or learning are not solved in dozens of minutes of eating.

Children are determined to break bad habits or shortcomings, not because they are coerced or enticed.

It's because they want to be a better version of themselves from the bottom of their hearts.

However, if Mom and Dad don't affirm them first, how much confidence do they have to pursue a better version of themselves?

So,

Be sure to be a parent who enriches your child's spiritual world, not a parent who consumes your child's spiritual world.

Let them be brave enough to face themselves, face life, and face difficulties.

Building a trusting relationship with your child starts with eating well.