The reason why Yi Nengjing's works are moving is the result of the combination of her special life and talent, which can be said to be writing with tears.
Author|Galaxy\Editor|Lone Dove
During this time, the online drama "Long Season" brought fire to Gong Biao, played by Qin Hao, and also brought fire to the "Qin Hao Weight Loss Method" shared by Yi Nengjing's blog.
Huge attention poured into Yi Nengjing's Weibo, and people found from her many reviews of the "Long Season" drama: 55-year-old Yi Nengjing is still the talented woman with quick thinking and brilliant writing.
For example, for the protagonist trio in the play, Yi Nengjing describes it as a "trio of residual thoughts", and the residual thoughts are unfinished, like a small tail streaking through the long sky, dazzling and elusive. For her husband Qin Hao, Yi Nengjing commented that as a very close family member, he is still surprised and strange to his part as an actor, and Qin Hao is always building himself and breaking himself.
Yi Nengjing Weibo
In this era when netizens like "archaeology", many people began to dig deep into the story of Yi Nengjing's past, and found that her ex-husband Yu Chengqing's masterpiece "Spring Mud" was also written by her. The allusion to "spring mud" may also come from the verse "Yulang pan horse land, but afraid of spring mud", "Yulang" refers to the Northern Zhou poet Yu Xin.
Netizens couldn't help but sigh, "The love of talented women is too handy." ”
In recent years, because she does not often appear in film and television dramas, Yi Nengjing's labels in the public opinion field are mostly character slices brought about by the effects of the program, such as "talking about love", "drama", etc., but the fact is obviously more than that, "both talent" is her background.
Beautiful mourning
Recently, many netizens bumped into the "expired sugar" of Yi Nengjing and ex-husband Yu Chengqing.
The reason was that when they "archaeological" Yi Nengjing's talent, they discovered that the song "Spring Mud" was composed by Yu Chengqing and lyrics by Yi Nengjing; Following this clue, someone found Yi Nengjing's book "Life and Death Last Words" published in 2002, which recorded many fragments of her and Yu Chengqing's life, with delicate words and moving emotions.
For example, for who loves each other more, Yi Nengjing wrote, "I suspect that you don't know the depth of my love for you, this unbalanced depth makes me believe that I am unrequited in love with you, you say to me, feel that you love me more, I always help you get things... Lose to your explanation, but you don't know that I often panic. When we have to separate, I always feel empty. When I love you, I wish I were you. ”
Regarding the disagreement between the two, Yi Nengjing wrote, "You hold the TV, and I hold the book... You don't read my words, you don't watch my performances, you don't care about my glory, you just love me and don't care about the exit of my soul. ”
Yi Nengjing's book "Last Words of Life and Death"
Yi Nengjing also shared the sweetness of the two on the show: in the middle of the night, her face was bitten by mosquitoes, and Yu Chengqing immediately got up to help her take ice cubes to apply to her face and wipe medicine; She and her sisters went to a nightclub to drink, and when they returned home, they couldn't spit into the right trash can, and Yu Chengqing just laughed at her rebellion.
Of course, the marriage between the two has become a thing of the past 14 years ago, and netizens also jokingly asked themselves whether they "ignored Qin Hao's feelings" when they smashed sugar.
When Yi Nengjing and Qin Hao's marriage entered its 8th year and became more stable and intimate, and then look back at the failed process of her marriage with her ex-husband, we may find that the breakdown of the relationship between the two at that time was inevitable - in this relationship, Yi Nengjing did not love herself.
Yi Nengjing grew up in a broken native family. Her patriarchal father, who left home and started a new family because he disliked her for not being a boy, died prematurely at the age of 17; In her childhood, her mother was busy with her livelihood, giving her to others to raise her many times, and later took her to remarry in Japan. Yi Nengjing, who has been adrift since childhood, is extremely lacking in love, loves literature, and is very eager for his misfortune to be saved by his sweetheart in love.
Therefore, she adheres to the concept of "love first". Shortly after her debut as a singer, she was appreciated by director Hou Xiaoxian, who called her "seventeen girls with swords" and invited her to star in "City of Sorrow". But just as the filming of the movie began, her first love boyfriend who lived in Hong Kong called Yi Nengjing and said that she missed it, and she immediately flew to Hong Kong, because she felt that "How can "City of Sorrow" compare with my love".
But when she arrived in Hong Kong, Yi Nengjing called her first love at the hotel, and the other party just asked, "Who are you?" I'm in a meeting now, I'll call you later", and then there was no news. Yi Nengjing waited for three days, and after returning to Taipei, the movie had changed the heroine. That film later won the Golden Lion Award at the Venice Film Festival.
Yi Nengjing when he was young
At the beginning of her debut, because she had to pay off the tens of millions of Taiwan dollars of debt left by her father, she had to go to the show with a high fever, and only allowed herself to faint after receiving remuneration in the background. Because he was ostracized by many peers at that time and said that he was a "too flattering fan", Yi Nengjing, who had few friends, always pretended to be unapproachable to support his confidence.
At this time, she saw Yu Chengqing, who also did not talk to his peers backstage, but was just snickering. Yu Chengqing came from a famous family, "like sunspots, with rebellion in the sun", and the two began a 12-year love run.
The two get along in an underground love mode, only calling them friends to the outside world, and Yi Nengjing, who is already emotionally unstable, once self-harmed due to feelings. She wrote in "Last Words of Life and Death" that she didn't understand why her boyfriend had to leave late at night every time, and couldn't believe that he said he would come back tomorrow, "The round bright red blood dripped on the sheets, and I never felt pain." ”
On Valentine's Day in 2000, 32-year-old Yi Nengjing finally got a license with Yu Chengqing in the United States, but unlike the romance she expected, the proposal was when the two were on vacation, and the man asked Yi Nengjing if he wanted to marry, and there was no kneeling proposal at all. She joked, "It's nice if I don't kneel." ”
Yi Nengjing and Yu Chengqing
After marriage, Ino Jing often felt that she could not adapt to living in the ancestral home and living with the extended family, and she wrote in the book, "In the world of love that you threw me, in the panic that I could not adapt to but did well and did unnoticed, I felt that one self was torn apart by the other." ”
In 2009, the two finally divorced, the child was raised by Yu Chengqing, Yi Nengjing began a 5-year emotional window, she read, meditated, and devotional every day, reflected in pain, and realized: Only by loving yourself can you love others.
Later, when participating in the program "Lu Yu Has an Appointment", she summarized the reasons for the failure of the marriage, believing that she did not cultivate good wisdom, her state was tense, and she was still trapped in the pain of her original family, and once she met a reliable person, she treated others as driftwood, "But my husband is not a doctor, why help me treat my illness"?
In fact, as early as in marriage, she once said on the show that as a modern woman, happiness is still on the road, maybe there is a wild seizure, directly pull the box and leave, please bless.
It can be seen that Yi Nengjing was still growing up at that time, she was sentimental and talented, but she was not ready for family life. There is no right or wrong person in the emotion, just not at the best time.
Meet Mr. Right
A few years after the divorce, Yi Nengjing was plagued by public opinion, and once lost weight, could not eat, and could not sleep. She insisted on not using sleeping pills at night, and gradually understood that no one can save herself, and only when she is better can she meet good people, just as it is almost impossible for a patient to meet a healthy person when he goes to the hospital.
Yi Nengjing is convinced that he is still "love first", but he pursues more material things, and likes to have it for a long time instead of what he once had. But she gradually became busy with her career and children, basically did not socialize with the opposite sex, and lived what her best friends called "monk life".
In 2013, at the fundraising party of the "Jing Xin Book Fund" initiated by Yi Nengjing, Qin Hao noticed her, made an appointment to have a private meal, and soon said whether to try it together. Yi Nengjing was afraid of being hurt, and her first reaction was to refuse. She told him that she was 10 years older than him, had children, and was often troubled by negative public opinion, could he and his family accept it?
In order to make Qin Hao retreat in the face of difficulties, Yi Nengjing also said that he was not an item, he could not try, he should not ask himself casually, he must be serious, and he wanted to get married. Who knew that after a few days, Qin Hao asked her to come out and say, let's talk about marriage.
In Yi Nengjing's opinion, Qin Hao is like a person in the Republic of China, he doesn't care about gossip, as long as he likes it, it's enough. He also comforted her: It doesn't matter if other people's worlds have us, our world should not have others.
However, the two are together, Yi Nengjing's complex of treating his lover as driftwood in the last relationship still needs to be overcome, and the only time Qin Hao mentioned the breakup to Yi Nengjing was also for this, he hoped that she would not mention the dark history again, and said that the two were equal, he was ready, and he hoped that she would also be ready. Qin Hao also always regarded Yi Nengjing as a strong person, and slowly, she was no longer drowning in sad emotions.
Yi Nengjing, Qin Hao. Source: Douban filmmaker information
In addition to the complementarity of personalities, Qin Hao also made up for Yi Nengjing's lack of ritual sense and brought the most precious family in her heart.
Before the age of 45, Yi Nengjing said that he was making up for his past regrets. She said in the interview that she has spent her whole life waiting for someone who falls in love with her to say, "Let's make it public."
In 2014, at the Berlin Film Festival, Qin Hao took the initiative to disclose his relationship. Before walking the red carpet together, Yi Nengjing was a little timid, she described that "the things that longed for all her life were in front of her, making people hesitate", Qin Hao simply held her hand and pulled her onto the red carpet, saying that she had never thought of a way back.
The next year, the two got married, and the public marriage news caused public controversy, Yi Nengjing posted that he had never worn a formal wedding dress, had never held a wedding banquet, and it was the first time that his family and friends participated in the wedding, and he had to raise himself since he was a child, and he had to earn tens of millions to support his family, "Thank you for your concern, thank you for ridicule."
However, the influence of public opinion on Yi Nengjing can always be eliminated on Qin Hao's side, and every time she is unstable, she receives a call from Qin Hao, listening to his mother-in-law's concern and telling the details of the film being filmed, Yi Nengjing feels that the voices outside are irrelevant, and the real life of oil, salt, sauce and vinegar tea is important.
Qin Hao's mother, Qin Hao, Yi Nengjing
In Yi Nengjing's view, as an actor, Qin Hao is diligent and has a rich spiritual world, and he will not make films and television for money that he does not want to make, and he has a kind of confidence in him.
For the current marriage and family, Yi Nengjing has publicly shared many warm clips. For example, at first, she was embarrassed to use Qin Hao's money, and the two of them had their own money, thinking that then her husband would not have much burden and could continue not to accept the drama she didn't like. But Qin Hao felt that he had the responsibility to support the family after marriage, and his daughter-in-law did not use her own money and did not regard herself as a family.
When I first got married, I once went out shopping, Yi Nengjing saw her mother-in-law holding Qin Hao, habitually thinking that as a daughter-in-law, she wanted to let her, so she just followed silently behind, who knew that her mother-in-law suddenly turned around and gave Yi Nengjing's hand to Qin Hao. So, the husband held his mother with his left hand and himself with his right hand, and Yi Nengjing was moved.
Yi Nengjing grew up in a military village in Taipei, and she believes that the moment she was spoiled by Qin Hao, she had already rebuilt the military village in her heart and gave her enough security. This is undoubtedly the highest evaluation of the relationship between the two and the achievement of each other.
Always a talented woman
Looking back on Yi Nengjing's artistic career, she is indeed very talented and talented.
Yi Nengjing debuted as an idol singer, released more than 20 albums and sang more than 100 songs. Among them, her famous songs "The Last Day of Nineteen" and "Stray Child" were all written by herself, leaving the classic lyrics of "at the age of nineteen, it should have been squandered".
In 2006, Yi Nengjing released the song "Nian Nu Jiao", which was composed by Jay Chou and written by Yi Nengjing, and won the Top Ten Golden Melody Award and MV Best Creative Award in the first season of China's original song general list. Her singing and lyrics "A Thousand Times I Love You" won the Significant Contribution Award at China's First Internet Music Festival in 2007.
She is also extremely talented when it comes to acting. Although she missed "City of Sorrow", in 1995, Hou Xiaoxian invited her to star in "Good Men and Good Women", and was shortlisted for the Golden Horse Award for Best Actress with this film. In 1997, she was shortlisted for the Golden Horse Award for Best Actress again with "National Highway Closed", but lost to Maggie Cheung of "Sweet Honey".
"Good Men and Good Women" stills
In addition, Yi Nengjing has also published 18 collections of essays, almost "works equivalent". She also admitted in an interview with Southern People Weekly that if she were a writer, her sensitive talent might bring some achievements, but she was an artist.
Her "Last Words of Life and Death", Douban score 7.4 points, some readers commented: "I used to think that she was contrived and shallow in the name of literature and literature, but after reading this book, I felt that she was indeed very keen, and she was really a person who lives by love." What moved me was not the words, but the feelings and emotions inside, very sincere, very real, very empathetic. ”
The reason why Yi Nengjing's works are moving is the result of the combination of her special life and talent, which can be said to be writing with tears. It is from her speeches, words, lyrics and other expressions that we can learn about the painful experience of her early life:
Before she was born, her mother had given birth to six daughters (the first two died), and because her father preferred sons, she saw that the seventh was a girl and immediately ran away from home. Yi Nengjing has felt guilty since she was a child, feeling that she should not come into this world and let her mother suffer.
At the age of 16, she was ready to enter the entertainment industry to make money to support her family, and her wish was to be more like her eldest son than her eldest son, so that her family would no longer worry about money. Who knows, the day after inviting his biological father, who had been away for a long time, to help him sign the contract, his father died in a car accident. Yi Nengjing rushed to the morgue to claim the body and recorded, "What happened that night brought me inevitable, unremitted, disgusted personality burning distortion. ”
After that, the imprint of dramatic life experiences has been engraved on Yi Nengjing, and because he grew up in a military village, the animal nature that has been able to fight with children in other villages has not disappeared, so in the past, Yi Nengjing loved to talk, emotions were difficult to control, and he could often ask for quotations and express his own opinions in interviews.
For example, when she participated in "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves" 3 years ago, she said that she was happier than Anita Mui, who was married and had children for life, which caused a storm of public opinion.
Yi Nengjing participated in "Sister Riding the Wind and Waves"
Ordinary artists encounter similar bad comments, or they will deal with it coldly, but Yi Nengjing responded one by one, she believes that this is a claim of a sense of justice in her heart, and she must let netizens know that they should be careful when they speak, and that it is okay not to do anything.
This time because of the hit of "The Long Season", Yi Nengjing suddenly became popular among young people because of the text, although surprising, but reasonable.
Of course, it is fateful for the expressor to be misunderstood, but the louder the volume, the more people can actually give them the opportunity to understand themselves. When a person continues to export ideas and words for decades, the audience can discover her talent and courage.
As some readers perceive, her words can see "her efforts to find her true self, heal herself, pursue true love and self-redemption."
Recently, Yi Nengjing may have sensitively captured the audience's praise for her writing, and posted a Weibo saying that the text is a solid with sound, smell, hardness, transparency and closure to her, and no matter which country's text, it has this heart-pounding feeling.
For example, the Japanese word for "life in suspense" refers to hanging your life on a rope, as if the pain is not important to work hard, Japanese mothers will say to their daughters who marry flowers, to hang their lives to be happy! And our Chinese efforts are to increase the strength of slaves and satisfy others first, such as when my mother told her when she was a child, she should strive to be a good woman.
But she hopes that her daughter will be happy without effort, experience life without effort, and use every bit of strength to dominate herself.
She wrote, "Dear girl, make a conscious use of the words that come to you, and that is the direction you give to yourself. You don't hang your life to love and be loved, your efforts don't have the word slave, you are not here to fight, your strength is to enrich yourself. It's enough for you to enjoy life. ”
Today, Yi Nengjing's expression is undiminished, but everyone evaluates it as very powerful. From the perspective of external factors, it may be attributed to the fact that she loves herself more and finds a source of strength in her current married life, but from the internal cause, it is still because she always has a separate room in her heart for reading, studying, and writing.
Here, she is not a daughter-in-law, not a mother, but just herself.