"Full-time children" are out of the circle, when did gnawing old become so fresh and vulgar?

Text | Rice grain mother

Recently, Rice Grain's mother discovered a new profession that was out of the loop: full-time children.

Doesn't it sound nonsensical at first glance? To put it bluntly, some young people in their twenties and thirties do not work or go to school, but work full-time at home every day as children, and some even receive salaries.

Let's take a look at what people say:

There is no workplace bullying, no need to go out early and return late, the boss is his own father and mother, working from home does not say, and there is a guaranteed salary every month.

The work content is also quite relaxed, please see the full-time daughter's statement:

Every day I sleep until I wake up naturally, my mother has long prepared meals, brushed my mobile phone, played games, chased dramas, took a walk, accompanied my parents to nag, and the pleasant day of full-time work is over~

Of course, there are also dedicated full-time daughters, who are contracted for household chores such as three meals a day, laundry and mopping, and many additional services, including but not limited to warm chat, mother-daughter afternoon tea, trimming flowers and plants, and self-driving drivers.

It is also necessary to have some basic qualities of migrant workers, such as providing sufficient emotional value to the boss.

Others are in Cao Ying's heart in Han, and being a full-time son and daughter is just an expedient measure, in fact, they are preparing for the postgraduate examination, ready to change full-time to part-time at any time.

0 internal roll, no internal friction, no arrears of wages, weekends and weekends, no overtime, great flexibility of work and rest.

Going to work but not completely on it, gnawing old but not completely gnawing, this is the norm for full-time children, it seems, is it particularly cool, particularly enjoyable?

Nowadays, the young people who choose this "career" are really not a minority, the children of some relatives of the rice grain mother, since the beginning of the work is to rest and stop, do not go well or can't find a suitable job to go home and lie down, 2021 or even a whole year without work, now think about it, isn't this a full-time son.

From "escaping from the north, Shanghai and Guangzhou" to "full-time children", Mi Gran's mother has to sigh that the backstage and confidence of young people are indeed getting harder and harder, and the freedom to lie flat and gnaw the old has been completely realized, and "a bed in a big city" or "a suite in your hometown" is no longer a choice question:

Of course, the hometown is in bed!

However, are full-time children really so comfortable?

In fact, it may not be, under the sour appearance, what is hidden is the anxiety of the heart, after all, lying at home for 3 days in the New Year is annoying, let alone lying down for 1 or 2 years to try? And parents will only be more anxious and helpless than them.

In fact, the main reason for these children to "return to the family" is nothing more than two, one is that they really can't get rolled, and the other is that they really can't find a job they can see, so it's better to go home and open the swing, save their strength, and slowly plan it.

Rice grain mother thought of another popular word recently, Kong Yiji literature.

Mr. Lu Xun's Kong Yiji, even if he fell down, could not put down the shelf of the reader, and did not associate with the so-called "short-clothed gang" (that is, the working people), so he became the only person wearing a long robe but standing and drinking.

And now education is to college students, just like the robe is to Kong Yiji, which is a symbol of face and status:

Han Window studied hard for more than ten years, thousands of troops were admitted to 211, 985, squeezed into the master's and doctoral circle, just to change their fate, how can they do work with a monthly salary of 5,000, all year round, and even pure selling of physical strength?

On the one hand, the ambition of surviving from school, on the other hand, the ruthless slap in the face of the "hardest employment season in history", on the other hand, the retirement life imprisonment at the age of 65, and the middle-aged dilemma of unemployment at the age of 35.

Under the extremely torn and cruel reality, it is understandable that young people hesitate, confuse, wander, and even temporarily return home to "gnaw the old", but are we really comparable with Kong Yiji?

Kong Yiji's robe, in the final analysis, is a class symbol, a decoration for him to decorate the façade.

However, for the vast majority of people, education is a stepping stone and a bonus for survival, breaking into society and even changing the world, rather than a means of cutting seats with working people, let alone a tool to show off superiority.

If young people think that after studying in college, they should enter a big factory as a white-collar worker, and even prefer to resign and gnaw the old than make a living first, then it can only be said that our education is really skewed.

Rice grain mother does not want to blindly criticize young people for being good and lazy, because only talking without reflection and tracing the origin, that is playing hooligans, so where is the root? In fact, the problem is education.

I dare say that almost everyone experienced the following scenarios as children:

When you meet a cleaner on the road, your mother Nunu says to you: "You don't study well, and when you grow up, you will sweep the streets like him!" ”

The waiter in the restaurant served the food, and Dad warned you indignantly: "The test is so scored, no one wants the back-end plate!" ”

"If you don't get a good university, you will be a lifelong driver like your father in the future, and you won't be productive!"

The concept of utilitarian education, occupational discrimination, and single value orientation can be said to have grown up with each generation and has long been deeply rooted in the hearts of the people.

While children are brainwashed by "going to college can change their destiny", they also have to accept the reality of college students, and the psychological gap is probably larger than the Mariana Trench.

Moreover, even if young people really take off their long coats and start from the bottom, will it be okay?

No, there will still be people pointing fingers at them: college students can only be waiters, delivery food, screws, and front desks? Reading is really useless!

So in the end, the "robe that cannot be taken off" of young people is really sewn by the family and society stitch by stitch.

The child's heart is already a big gap, but also subject to ridicule and ridicule from all directions, if the family is not poor in money, it is better to simply stay at home first, full-time children This is not born.

Although full-time children and Kong Yiji's anxiety are products of the times, to a certain extent, it is understandable, but Mi Li's mother feels that such a mentality and atmosphere is really worthy of everyone's vigilance and reflection.

In fact, the so-called full-time sons and daughters are not unique to China.

Decades ago, because of the bursting of the economic bubble and the slump in the job market, there was a phenomenon of young people going home directly to lie down, so there was an "8050" problem decades later - that is, 80-year-old parents take care of 50-year-old children, and data show that the 8050 group in Japan has exceeded 1 million people.

For years or even decades, these children did not go out to socialize, did not look for work, did not even leave the house, and survived completely on the support of their parents.

However, parents will always grow old, and one day they will leave first, and then what will happen to children who do not have pensions?

As a result, there have been tragedies of the "disappearance" of the elderly in Japan one after another, without declaring the death, but disappearing, and the reasons behind it are also shocking.

Yutaka Suzuki, 58, wrapped his father's bones in a white cloth and put them in a plastic bag for seven years, just to continue receiving his father's pension;

46-year-old Hisaki Tanaka, because he had been out of society for too long, did not know how to help his mother deal with the aftermath, so he let the body be left at home for more than a year.

Katsuyuki Motomura, 53, hastily put his mother's body in a garbage bag, rolled it up with duct tape and put it at home, and then called the police because he couldn't bear the smell of the corpse.

What shocked Rice Mother the most was a man named Shin'ichi Makioka, who starved to death at home at the age of 56 after the death of his parents.

In fact, Shin'ichi used to be a hard-working young man, who worked hard, passed the civil service, and worked in the medical industry, but after failing exams, high-intensity overtime, expulsion and hitting a wall in employment, Shin'ichi became more and more negative, and he wrote in his diary:

"It's not fun to live at all, there is no healthy body, working for work, the brain is blank."

How similar it is to the mental state of our young people now, it is really frightening to think about.

After Shin'ichi became a full-time son, his father also felt extremely worried and anxious, but he did not dare to look for a job in front of his son, because it would inevitably lead to a war.

In this way, Shin'ichi has been a full-time son for more than 30 years, even if his father suffered from cancer and his mother had Alzheimer's, he did not go out to work, and after the death of his parents, he survived on his inheritance, ate fast food every day, and finally tossed himself to death.

When he was discovered, Shin's family was filled with food packaging bags and garbage, and the money left by his parents was only 452 yuan. I don't know if he had planned for a long time, ran out of money, and died?

After reading these lessons from Japan's past, looking back at the "full-time children" meme, Mi Li's mother instantly lost her smile.

Full-time children are happy for a while, because they have the support of their parents, who iron out the folds and ravines in their children's lives.

But when parents age little by little, become weaker and weaker, and are accustomed to relying on their parents, can they still have enough financial resources and responsibilities to take care of the family?

Young people encounter setbacks and difficulties for a while, and it is understandable that they want to go home for a few days to ask for comfort for the baby, and then set off in a different mood.

It's scary that some parents will indulge their children in this way, develop the problem of low eyes, good food and laziness, and can no longer return to the workplace, just want to hide in the gentle village to paralyze themselves.

Migrain's mother has a distant sister is like this, the family is looking for a job that is unwilling to go, thinking about starting a business and making a fortune all day, but doing things without permanence and planning, more than forty years and was cheated out of hundreds of thousands, even pension insurance has always been paid by parents.

As soon as this daughter was mentioned, her father sighed or sighed, blaming himself for being too accustomed to children, not working if he didn't want to work, and giving money if he wanted to start a business.

Every time the rice mother looks at this old father with gray hair and heavy hearts, her heart is very unpleasant.

You know, not all families have endless money to spend and endless gold mines, unless the family will never suffer disasters and do not get sick, otherwise, in this era full of uncertainty, being a child who does not worry about eating and drinking all his life is tantamount to dreaming.

Even if you don't consider the problem of money, long-term dependence on others to take care of people will gradually lose their ability to take care of themselves and slowly abolish, just like the children of the Japanese who hide the corpse, they don't even know how to send a funeral and how to issue a death certificate, they will only let the bones of their parents slowly decompose, stink, and turn into white bones, this is not a human tragedy, what is it?

Rice grain mother admits that everyone is not easy to live now, and the reality that everyone faces is particularly cruel.

However, in fact, every era has its own difficulties and problems, the truth of life has always been cruel, looking back at human history, wars, plagues, hunger, disasters have never been far away, and suffering has never stopped.

It is only because we have lived a good and rainy life for decades that we have come to mistakenly believe that survival is a low-hanging fruit.

No matter what the background of the times, Mi Li Mama always believes that those who dare to face reality, work steadfastly, and take responsibility will never live too badly, nor will they be imprisoned by the so-called long robe.

And as parents, we should also reflect,

Is his own view of education too utilitarian and idealistic? Does it make children mistakenly think that with a high education, they will get a ticket to the people, and they can trample ordinary people under their feet?

When we feel sorry for our children who are too bitter and tired, and even can't bear to put them under any bit of pressure, have we ever thought that there are no requirements and no expectations for our children, which is actually a kind of harm?

When we envy our parents who have the confidence to boast about Haikou and say that "it's a big deal to raise a life", have we really calculated the visible and invisible risks and costs that need to be paid behind this?

More importantly, how can we give children full love and acceptance on the one hand, and let them consciously take the initiative to assume and solve life's problems and responsibilities on the other hand?

After all, parents and children must be separated in the end, no one is your eternal dependency, and the cost of dreams should not be passed on to others.

Seeking a living first, then seeking love, only by relying on one's own ability can we live a peaceful life, full of hope and hope, which is an unchanging truth for anyone.

Personal profile: @米粒妈频道 (welcome to follow), rice grain mother, American returnee, Haidian parent, when the first place in the new book list "Parent-child English Book that Affects Children's Life" author. Focus on learning dry goods, education experience sharing, education and further education of children aged 5-12, English, mathematics, science enlightenment, and the world's novelty and good things recommended, welcome to follow! (0~5 years old mother, please pay attention: @米粒妈爱分享)