Only by mastering the methods and skills of scolding and reprimanding can we achieve the purpose and effect of education. Improper punishment can unknowingly hurt children.
- Colorful waves ho
Everyone must have seen this sentence in a book: everyone can be a parent, but not everyone can be qualified for this position. Many of the children's problems, most of which originate from parents, are rarely recognized by us.
Professor Li Meijin pointed out: The biggest problem for parents to manage their children at present is that they should not manage it!
Eat and dress rich to raise children, and mentally poor to raise children
Maslow's hierarchy of needs tells us that everyone has five needs: physiology, security, interpersonal communication, respect, and self-actualization.
Tolstoy said: "Loving children is something that old hens do, and the key is how to educate." ”
Parents always want to give their children the best, they would rather suffer a little by themselves, but also give their children the best life, and never want to treat their children badly in eating, drinking, and Lasa. Parents think they can give everything to their children, but children do not feel the love of their parents. The root cause lies in the fact that parents care and love their children mostly in food and clothing, but rarely pay attention to their children's spiritual needs.
After China's "diving queen" Guo Jingjing married into a wealthy family, she and her husband Huo Qigang were repeatedly searched for their children's educational concepts! But Guo Jingjing will buy clothes for her children at the street stall, will buy one or two hundred pieces of clothes for the children, and will also take the children to eat at the street stalls. In life, she and her husband are spiritual, and they never skimp on raising their children.
They would take their children to the countryside to plant seedlings and experience the hardships of labor and the hard-won food with them.
They will let their children "work" for them, earn pocket money by washing cars, and make them understand that what they want depends on their own labor.
It can be said that cordial companionship and education is the greatest enrichment for children.
This wealthy couple told us with their own actions that the essence of "wealthy education" is not to throw money and money, but to teach parents by example.
Strictly manage children in learning, and neglect children psychologically
According to survey data, the top five topics that Chinese parents and children usually communicate with are: study (72.8%), school (70.6%), their own interests (36.5%), friends (32.7%) and their future (33.6%). Many topics between parents and children can never be separated from learning and learning. It was as if there was nothing to say to the child except studying. This leads to parents knowing their children's learning well, clearly knowing which of their children's subjects is weaker and which knowledge points they have not mastered, but they do not know what their children really think. So parents find that the older the child, the less willing he is to chat with his parents, or even to be in the same space with his parents. Because children don't want to hear their parents' mouths open and closed to study, ask questions and talk about grades, and even care about children's bodies will only say that "a good body is the capital of learning". Parents can sacrifice everything for the sake of their children's achievements, but they cannot spend hours understanding their children's inner world and listening to their children's hearts! Don't always think that children are very small, don't know anything, you're wrong. Because children are not learning machines, and the meaning of parents to children is not only to urge children to learn, when you can only talk to children about learning, children close the door of communication in their hearts to you.
Ignoring the spiritual world, ignoring inner growth, and neglecting mental health is a disaster for children.
Do everything in life, and raise waste children while growing up
In many families today, housework is an adult's business, and children just need to study hard. However, the result of everything is to cut off the path of the child's development.
Have you seen the story of Hunan prodigy Wei Yongkang on the Internet? He was admitted to the Department of Physics of Xiangtan University at the age of 13, and at the age of 17, he was admitted to the Institute of High Energy Physics of the Chinese Academy of Sciences with the second overall score in the country, and became a master's and doctoral student. Although he had a strong learning ability, he was completely unable to take care of himself, so that he could not complete his studies, and was eventually dissuaded by the school and did not even get a master's degree.
His mother took good care of him, even the toothpaste in the morning was squeezed by his mother, his mother washed his face, bathed, washed his clothes, and in order to make his son not delay reading when eating, his mother even fed him food. Years later, my mother said remorsefully, "I thought to myself that other people are so smart that they can learn these life skills very quickly." She didn't think it was what she expected. He was completely raised by his mother as a "waste" who could only learn. His mother realized that reading is important, but it is more important to cultivate children's self-care ability from an early age.
The world is big, and children need not only our loving care, but also their ability to start their independent survival as soon as possible.
Learn to take care of yourself when you are young, and become self-reliant when you are an adult
In modern society, it is very important to cultivate children's self-care ability. If you don't cultivate children's self-care ability from an early age, when their parents are old or their children grow up in the future, they can't even take care of their own lives, so how can they talk about honoring their parents and contributing to society? It is said that in the United States, when a child reaches the age of eighteen, some parents do not care about his or her food, clothing, housing and transportation, and even the expenses for going to college have to be paid by the child to work on his or her own, even the children of the president of the country. However, on the mainland, there are still many "gnawing old people" who have grown up and still rely on their parents, some are married and have children, and they have to live on their parents' pensions, how can such families be harmonious?
During the Kangxi Dynasty, Liu Yinshu, the governor of Guizhou, told the old man to return to his hometown and wanted to use his life savings to build a bridge for his hometown. But the children turned against him: "You have been a high-ranking official all your life, but we have not seen a little light, so easy to expect you to come home, but you ignore us so much." Liu Yinshu was very sad, he felt that although he was innocent, he neglected the education of his children.
So, he used up his savings and spent five years to build a bridge and named it "Yuxiu Bridge". After the bridge was repaired, he said to his children: "The reason why I used all my savings to build the bridge is to tell you with facts that your own path is your own way, your own life is your own creation, and it is better to rely on heaven and earth, than on yourself." In order to completely eliminate the children's dependence on their parents, he sold the bridge to the government for fifteen taels of silver. Liu Yinshu's actions deeply touched his children. His children became pillars of the country. It should be said that Liu Yinshu's focus on the cultivation of children's self-improvement spirit is far-sighted, and he uses his life savings to educate children, which can be described as well-intentioned!
The ancients were still like this, how should today's parents view the cultivation of children's self-improvement spirit, and what role should parents play in it?
Let's be modern parents, create a harmonious family, start from small things, start from parents and children, and start from cultivating children's self-care ability! Come on! Togetherness [Heart Comparison]
Colorful waves ho