I tried combing all kinds of hairstyles, tying a ponytail, braiding a braid, wearing beautiful hairpins with loose hair, and trying on many styles of clothing, loose vests, and nice skirts. Looking at the other girls dressed up, each has its own beauty, but put on me, with my face, but how can not look good. I thought that since the appearance value could not come, I wanted strength, but I did not expect that on the eve of this year's college entrance examination, God made a joke with me again. Today, many of my classmates have stepped into the university's doors, and I can only lie in the hospital room and look at the ceiling. The picture shows Li Yanan.
In June this year, I was full of nervousness and anxiety looking forward to the arrival of the college entrance examination, lying in bed at night and not sleeping, I fantasized about college life and more future life countless times. Just thinking and thinking, hoping and hoping, that day came as scheduled, but I was not one of the candidates, and I was admitted to the hospital again in poor health. The picture shows Li Yanan on the hospital bed.
"Immunodeficiency diseases, severe pneumonia, fungal infections, consolidation of both lungs, persistent fever ... The situation is serious, you should still transfer to the hospital to see. "The doctor's words seem to have sentenced me to death, the meaning of these words I still can't believe, these ten years of ups and downs have survived, why should I be the first blow at the most critical time, I really hate the unfair fate."
My name is Li Yanan, and if my illness were retroactive, it would have been there when I was born. I was born on May 9, 2004 in a village in Fangcheng County, Henan Province. At that time, in the eyes of my parents, my birth brought new vitality and endless joy to the family. When I was going to have a full moon, Mom and Dad were also going to find some relatives and friends at home to get together for a full moon wine. The dates had all been set, but I didn't expect the nightmare to arrive first. The picture shows a group photo of Li Yanan's family.
Newborn babies have repeated high fevers and are very dangerous. Mom and Dad did not dare to delay, and the first time they hugged me to the hospital for examination, which was not yet a full moon. Their worst plan is that I have pneumonia, but after going to many hospitals, doctors say that it is a giant cell infection, it is difficult to recover and discharge, I was admitted to Nanyang Central Hospital because of lung infection, just turned back home, my face, spine, arm bend, leg bend began to appear rash, serious places will rot and pus, of which the face is particularly serious. My face was like it had been under a spell, and it gradually became a pothole. The picture shows Li Yanan holding a toy at home.
Listening to my mother, at that time, I couldn't speak, I didn't understand beauty and ugliness, and when I was uncomfortable, I only knew how to cry. The hospital said that I had eczema, and they treated me according to the eczema method, and then I made a mistake, and then I made a good mistake, and I repeated it, like I made an agreement, and I got up every once in a while, and I never got better. The picture shows Li Yanan at home.
Mom and Dad said that after they took me to seek medical treatment and find home remedies, they always ridiculed themselves and said that "they are about to become experts", but others can hear it, and their tone is full of sadness.
Growing up as expected, I slowly learned to speak, learned to walk, and started school. But growing up, I had frequent bronchopneumonia at the beginning of each month and received infusions and anti-infection treatment. After getting better, it persisted until the end of the month and began to repeat, basically needing to go to the hospital for examination and treatment every month. By this time, the remaining three-quarters of my face was already filled with potholed scars. The picture shows Li Yanan combing her hair.
"What's going on with her face?" "Look at that girl!" "She's like a witch." On the way to school or in school, my face will always attract the attention of many people, they even speak out loud, and some people look at me intently. This kind of curiosity and criticism, I began to learn to accept from a very young age, trying to control myself and ignore it.
But why on earth am I like this? What disease am I suffering from? No one could give me an accurate answer for many years until 2014. That year, I had abscesses in my arms, legs, nose, lips, and all over my body, and finally I was diagnosed with "primary combined immunodeficiency" at Chongqing Children's Hospital. The picture shows Li Yanan teasing a kitten.
Over the years, my parents took me to the hospital again and again, asked for medicine, and finally got this result, but this result really plunged our family into despair. The treatment plan given by the doctor is to give regular lifelong transfusion of C balls, enhance immunity, and take oral medication daily to prevent bacterial infections. This means that I will have to face taking medicine and injections for many years to come.
Doctors also say there is a cure, which is to perform a transplant, but that would be a huge expense. After many years of uninterrupted treatment, our family did not have any savings at all, and it was really impossible to come up with such a large amount of surgery at one time, so we had no choice but to choose conservative treatment. The picture shows Li Yanan, who is dripping in the hospital.
After the diagnosis, my life did not change much from before, the only difference was that I went to the hospital more and more times, and my parents also had one more goal, that is, to save money for me to have a transplant.
Later, due to immunodeficiency, the turbinates are hypertrophied. It was as if I had been subjected to some vicious spell by a witch, and my whole nose began to grow larger, and with the potholed scars on my face, my already ugly appearance became even more unsightly, like a witch. The picture shows Li Yanan painting at home.
Sometimes I also fantasize about what I will look like if I am not sick, whether it is beautiful or ugly, and I have dreamed of a fantasy scene, in which I am healthy and healthy, there is no scar on my face, and I feel really good, so good that I don't want to wake up. What girl doesn't love beauty? It's just that I can't ask for it, so I can only let myself want to open something.
People who know me well say I'm very optimistic, and I've been trying to make myself optimistic. From elementary school to high school, no matter what kind of body, no matter how you are, you will not let your studies fall behind. The picture shows a large stack of awards won by Li Yanan, who wanted to use her own learning to prove that she did not lose to others.
In the second half of 2020, I entered my senior year of high school. The stress of the third year of high school is very high, and my illness especially needs to be paid attention to not being tired. Mom and Dad advised me to give up, saying they would feed me even if I didn't go to school and work. But I know that they can't raise me for a lifetime, and if I want to live in the future, there is only one way to go to school, I still have to go to medical school, and I want to save myself.
But this sick body still didn't let me survive the college entrance examination. After the examination, the doctor said that the interval between the outbreaks of the disease may become shorter and shorter, and the transplant surgery is imminent. After many years, the surgery was brought up again, and the family still couldn't do anything about it. I tried not to think about it, and after my body recovered a little, I threw myself into my studies again to prepare for next year's college entrance examination. I can keep trying, I can keep trying, and I believe that one day I can step into the exam room. The picture shows Li Yanan reading at home. Original works, it is strictly forbidden to reprint in any form, infringement will be investigated! #Photography Headlines##Photosensitive Plans##自拍我的故事 #
If you are willing to help Li Yanan, you can long press the identification QR code to view the project details and make a donation. If it cannot be recognized, you can save the two-dimensional code to the mobile phone album, open and scan, and select the two-dimensional code from the album to scan and identify. The project was initiated by the China Social Assistance Foundation, and was launched by the Internet fundraising information platform "Waterdrop Public Welfare" designated by the Ministry of Civil Affairs, and was responsible for the review, implementation and information feedback of the project. The final interpretation of the project belongs to the China Social Assistance Foundation. Supervision telephone: 010-58138033.
The "Photosensitive Project" bridges public welfare photographers, charitable organizations, and fundraising platforms, publishes pictures and stories of families in distress, and helps raise donations. The plan is a photo public welfare project jointly initiated by Today's Toutiao, the China Photographers Association, the China Children's Charity Relief Foundation, the Chinese Welfare Foundation, the China Social Welfare Foundation and other charitable organizations with public fundraising qualifications. If you have difficulties, you can send a private message to the official headline number of the "Photosensitive Plan".