#头条创作挑战赛 #
Just sent away Nanjing "slap" father, Uniqlo "lifted" the boy incident is still fermenting, many times the events that happen to children often reflect the parents' own methods of dealing with the world and nurturing attitudes.
And parents' extreme practices not only push themselves into the abyss of online violence, but also wake up the alarm bells when adults raise their children.
In the case of the boy who lifted the curtain, the fitting woman only wanted to get an apology in the end, but was abused and counted down by the child's parents.
"Impropriety" and "in some special profession" came from the boy's parents.
Those who say these words casually have no qualities in themselves,
And parents who solve problems in front of their children are even more of a bad example. Not only does it not make the child realize that he has made a mistake, but it makes the child feel that the problem can be solved by quarrelling, why should I apologize?
Then, parents try to ignore this mistake on the grounds that the child is still young.
Looking at the 4- and 5-year-olds, the parents said that the children were only a little over 2 years old.
We will not discuss the issue of age for the time being, but the wrong way of parenting is reflected.
The child is still young, so it is okay to run around in public;
The child is still young, so it is not a big deal to lift the curtain by mistake;
The child is still young, so as his caregiver, he must fight for reason and not apologize;
The child is still young, and in the eyes of his parents he doesn't seem to understand anything, so it's not a big deal to read it.
Yu Minhong said,
Some parents do things by themselves without rules, and do not establish a sense of rules for their children.
"Three years old looks young, seven years old looks old", that is, the habit of rules is developed from childhood. Don't throw garbage around, greet people politely, don't go where you shouldn't go (such as fitting rooms), clean up your toys, etc.
truly
Such small things, which are not important on the surface, are actually very important for developing the personality of the child.
I would like to say
This is an example of the extremely wrong thing parents do for their children without consequences.
Children tend not to solve problems under the doting of their parents, evade responsibility, and go their own way.
Because I have a parent who loves me very much, my children have different degrees of trouble.
The light ones hurt others and hurt themselves, and the heavy ones endanger society and embark on the road of no return.
The famous singer Li Shuangjiang is known to everyone that his son is called Li Tianyi.
Because of excessive spoiling and indulgence of children's behavior, but also because of the good family environment.
The material conditions are everything, but the spiritual world is blank.
And let the child develop the mentality of committing his own crimes but not having to bear any responsibility, anyway, there are parents who will help me get it.
I can do anything!
After a fight with a classmate, his mother Dream Pigeon will go to school to help him settle it;
Because he wanted to drive out to have fun, his parents actually bought a sports car for him as a minor;
Because of the accident caused by driving, and his parents helped him blindly avoid responsibility.
He was detained for brawl and sentenced to 10 years in prison for rape, when he was under the age of 18.
People can't help but think of the person who hit and killed people many years ago and shouted "My father is Li Gang", the son of the deputy director of a public security sub-bureau.
There's also an old story we've all heard, as if every child has heard it since childhood.
Before the execution, the twenty-two-year-old mother said goodbye in tears to her twenty-year-old son who was sentenced to death for murder. The son asked his mother to come closer, and the son suddenly bit his mother's ear and bit off his mother's left ear.
The mother's screams were heartbreaking, but the son's words made the mother regret.
"Mom, when I was a child, whatever I wanted, as long as I cried, you would buy it for me. So when I want some toy, I cry and you buy it for me. That's when I realized how easy it was to get something.
When I was studying, I fought with others and injured others. Instead of blaming me in the slightest, you said to me: Son, you didn't hurt it. So, when I'm in school, whenever I meet someone who doesn't look good, I do it.
I didn't have a job after graduation and learned to steal, you didn't discipline me, it's right to earn money by your own efforts, but save money and secretly stuff money into me.
When my burglary was discovered by the owner, I killed people. ”
He bit off his mother's ear as a reminder to reproach her for over-coddling herself, even for morality and law.
Blindly conniving at one's own wrong behavior, ignoring one's own wrong behavior without guidance, and finally leading to one's own indiscriminate right and wrong, embarked on the road of no return for breaking the law and committing crimes, and also ruined his life.
The doting of Chinese parents is a lie, a sugar-coated cannonball.
Wrapped in the protection of children, it is actually a mirror for them to evade responsibility, and they are a bad example for children.
This kind of love is poison, this kind of love is not equal, let alone respectful.
A child with problem-solving skills and a sense of responsibility is often cultivated from an early age and dares to face difficulties and challenges.
Parents use positive guidance and discipline to help children have the courage to face problems and resolve conflicts, and it is also conducive to the cultivation of children's good character and the improvement of social communication skills.
There is also a kind of doting that does not seem to have obvious consequences like the above cases, but it permeates the little upbringing of life, which makes people feel mad.
Recently two friends' children gave me some thoughts.
Han Han's mother already has 3-year-old experience in bringing babies, usually brought by children's grandparents, and brought them themselves on weekends.
A friend who has not seen her for a few years, she has also gained two numbers more fat since she got married and had a baby, which is a little surprising.
In the past few days, I have been with friends and discovered how she gets along with her children.
When the child is not hungry and does not want to eat, the mother will shout that the child is angry, but still hold a large number of purchased snacks in her hand and wait for the child to open his mouth.
When the child has his own wishes and expresses that he does not xx, the friend will say for his own reasons or other excuses, which is good for the child!
When the mother wants the child to calm down, there is generally a secret, which is to give him the mobile phone.
When the child couldn't stop swiping, the mother said that we were going home and forcibly took the phone away, and the child cried...
There was a scene that impressed me,
There were two children that day, one was 5 years old and older than Hanhan, and her friend ordered snacks, and she just happened to have fries that children love to eat, and she wanted the children to eat quietly.
As a result, Hanhan saw that the young lady was playing with her mobile phone, so she asked her mother for a mobile phone, and her friend didn't want to give it, so she casually patted the child and said that the child was disobedient.
Unexpectedly, the child cried and made trouble, and fought back!
Then the friend gave the child another stroke in anger, and the child hit the mother again.
In this way, several times, the friend had no choice but to compromise, and the mobile phone was given to the child.
But the most common thing my friends usually say is,
"Children can't get used to it, the more you get used to children, the more you get in!"
"You can't even giggle with him, so that the child is not afraid of you!"
She said so, but it wasn't.
Friends also said that the child is very close to him, but he is too tired with the baby and always wants to take a break.
These days also give me a feeling that she is not easy with her baby, and her daughter is very involved in playing sand blocks and slides in the children's playground, and they do not get along happily at other times.
This kind of love I call wishful thinking.
Mother and child are like two parallel worlds, mother is tirelessly giving for the child, but the child's voice shouts she does not care.
So this kind of love between parents and children is imagined by parents, parents do not respect children, and children do not accept this love.
The disharmony of the parent-child relationship will produce many contradictions with support.
The first step in solving the problem is to try to love yourself.
The child needs a happy and happy mother, not a mother who only focuses on the child all the way.
Children like to appreciate beautiful things, a mother with a beautiful image and temperament, a mother who goes out and dresses up and wears beautiful lipstick.
Children like to have their mother with their full company, even if it's only for two hours.
Then bringing a baby is an easy thing, respect the child's ideas, follow the things she is interested in to find his brilliance, instead of saying in front of the child, it's really tired, it's really annoying...
Yaya's mother has 1 year old and a few months of experience with a baby, because we made an appointment to meet, she said that this special situation does not want to take the child outside these days.
This is understandable, and then I think the child should come out to breathe and go to the indoor parent-child paradise to do some activities.
Then she said that in order to prevent the child from being infected twice, she would not consider taking the child anywhere!
I think this is a kind of protection, especially for children of small ages, but how to ensure the safety of children and have the space to explore freely is a difficult problem.
At the same time, I also think that true love is respect, not excessive protective doting.
Nor is it binding children's growth in the name of loving children.
He needed an environment with things to explore, playmates, and a bigger world.
The latest report on secondary infection is also inserted here.
First of all, from the experience of multiple infections in Japan, the possibility of secondary infection in children should be lower than that of adults.
In November 22, the National Institute of Infectious Diseases, Japan, published the latest research:
During the Omicron epidemic, the total secondary infection rate of the surveyed population was 22.2%, and the secondary infection rate of 0-19 years old was 8.3% during the same period.
"Shangguan News" compiled 15 academic reports and summarized the 4 characteristics of secondary infection:
Omicron virus is more likely to cause secondary infection.
With the same strain, the chance of secondary infection is small.
Antibody effectiveness decreases over time.
After a second infection, the rate of severe disease decreases.
Therefore, instead of being anxious, parents should step up efforts to enhance their children's immunity and physical fitness, and take care of their children in an orderly manner after they are impotent, and try to ensure a normal life.
Children need to grow normally, with nutritious soil, and true love is respect, not coddling.