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Maugham said: There are only two things in the world that make our lives worth living, and that is love and art.
It is in this way that a beautiful love is the paradise that countless men and women yearn for, but it often backfires. Like fireworks rising, it begins to be dazzling and then dim.
Why, in fact, love should be a matter of two people. In love, men and women each play different roles, shining their own light in different ways. But blindly paying is only useless, but also to find the right way.
Men are rational, women are emotional, and there are differences in the way of thinking. In the traditional view, women are tolerant and learn to be patient.
But maybe giving and accommodating doesn't solve the problem, and learning to procrastinate may be more effective.
Love is like a game, only when the two sides are evenly matched will not lose their fun, in order to maintain this delicate balance relationship for a long time.
Man is a creature with a strong desire to conquer, when he encounters a favorite of the opposite sex, the pursuit of the opposite sex is only instinctive on the one hand, on the other hand, it is to take the opposite sex as a target, and enjoy the pleasure of collecting booty. So, for women, don't let a man win easily to maximize his interest in you, and this is the key to keeping love fresh.
How many couples started with a storm, but quickly broke up. Being together too easily has become a shackle of love. A sentence without novelty became a reason to break up, which was not what love was.
If you want to love for a long time, learn to procrastinate, no matter how deeply you love, always leave a little time for each other to understand each other, and grasp the rhythm of love.
Therefore, it is not difficult to win back a man's heart, the key is whether the woman will use procrastination techniques.
Evolutionary psychology believes that in ancient times, men and women had different divisions of labor. Men hunt, women gather. This different division of labor has also formed different psychological patterns for men and women.
The purpose of people's life is for food, women are responsible for staying in caves to raise offspring, men are strong and good at hunting, so in the process of evolution, they have a deep fascination with hunting, and take pride in hunting prey, and this pleasure of conquest is the embodiment of men's original sense of energy.
And women are different, even if you really like each other, do not easily confess, the other party will feel that they will eat you, they will not be conquered by you, they will only get farther and farther away from you, or the result is "late affection is cheaper than the dog". Many girls like each other in the process of the man's pursuit and quickly agree.
At this time, you will find that he is not as good to you as before, this is the nature of men, so men in the process of pursuing you, to learn to procrastinate, to examine him little by little, while setting up a framework for themselves, as a woman, what is the bottom line and principles, only when men cater to your framework, can you proceed to the next step.
There is a word in psychology called procrastination, and procrastination in daily life is a bad habit that affects our efficiency. But in love, procrastination is a tactic, and it's a good thing. I believe that everyone has heard of "wanting to get away with it", and the indulgence here refers to procrastination.
Xiao Ya and Xiao Wang have been separated for half a month, and it is reasonable to say that Xiao Wang has lost his original freshness and has lost his desire to conquer Xiao Ya.
So Xiao Ya has only one way to save Xiao Wang, that is, to rekindle his desire to conquer, Xiao Ya finds a male friend to act as a third party, shows that this man is pursuing himself in the circle of friends, and at the same time finds a female friend, quietly reveals to Xiao Wang the fact that Xiao Ya still likes him.
This trick really stimulated Xiao Wang's desire to conquer, Xiao Wang took the initiative to contact Xiao Ya, but Xiao Ya still rejected him, here is the "vertical" technique, at this time Xiao Wang began to be anxious, indicating that the procrastination technique has worked.
Next, Xiao Wang's hunting heart was completely provoked, xiao Ya politely refused the second time, at this time Xiao Wang would wonder, does this woman still like herself or not? At the cocktail party, Xiao Ya threw herself into Xiao Wang's arms through drunkenness, revealed her heart, and looked at Xiao Ya, who was a bird in her arms, Xiao Wang's desire for protection and conquest was completely awakened, and she was guaranteed not to bear her again.
This is a typical story of wanting to get away with it.
As Eason Chan sang in the song: "What you can't get is always in turmoil", for men in love, it is not so, the more they don't get it, the more they want it.
Learn to cater to men's desire to conquer. It's difficult, but hopefully even more hooky. In fact, no matter how strong the appearance looks, there is always a child-like existence in the heart of a man, eager to be recognized, eager to be encouraged. Cleverly setting up a love game, letting it gradually overcome difficulties, and giving appropriate rewards will make him focus on you.
When you master these things, you have mastered the heart of a man. Thin water and long flow, is the original appearance of love.
Love is life, but not all it is. So if you're in love, don't have too much reverie. Don't be obsessed with thinking about where the other person is doing, I don't know if I'm not at ease. Whether to inform the itinerary, the second back message is not the criterion of whether he loves you or not.
Too much questioning will become an invisible shackle on men. Be the last straw that crushes the camel. Love is wonderful, but don't make it a bondage. It's like holding sand in your hand, the tighter you grasp it, the faster it will drain.
It is not the wind and waves that see the truth, and the plain places in life show the authenticity of love. A greeting after coming home from work, a delicious meal when hungry. Love is not only a period of love, but also a period of dullness. How to find a suitable way for the two to get along in the dull period is more important.
Women are romantic, but men in the bland period are often unaware that their focus is on work, on socializing, on making money to support the family. At this time, the advantages of women are also revealed. Quarrels are the most ineffective way to solve problems, and desperately trying to solve problems in love, can, but not the optimal solution.
There are some things that you have to learn to take slowly.
When you crave love, you feel that he is the bright moon in the sky, so beautiful and unattainable. But when you step on the moon and find that his surface is cratered, you don't like it anymore. So sometimes love only has to pay and accompany, but it can't be returned.
Then why don't we just stay on the ground and keep our original vision. There are many ways to express love, but companionship is the longest confession of affection. When love fades its gorgeous appearance, true beauty begins to emerge.
- The End -
Author | Magical little
Edit | Front and back black and white
The First Psychological Writer Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：K. M. R. Rosenzweig. Translated by Zhang Houcan. Handbook of international psychology. Shanghai: East China Normal University Press, 2002
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