01
Human feelings are the most unreliable thing in the world.
Traditional Chinese society is a "humane society." With the development of the times to today, although we have entered the information society, we still attach special importance to "human feelings".
When interacting with friends, we attach importance to human feelings and believe that when people get along with each other, they should maintain a good relationship and cherish friendship. But people associated with outsiders can hurt us.
At this time, most people will sigh that the world is cold, people's hearts are dark, people are indifferent, it is not worth getting along with outsiders, or it is better to get along with "relatives".
However, we have forgotten that since there are outsiders who are "indifferent to human feelings", there will certainly be relatives who are "indifferent to human feelings", and people's hearts are similar.
As the saying goes, most of the world's situations will not change because of the change of time and space. Everything is just the same as before.
For some friends and family, we don't have to expect too much. The closer people are, the more harmful psychology will appear. This, in fact, is even more terrifying than outsiders.
One day you will understand that some relatives and friends should "die and not interact with each other".
02
For friends and relatives who are "falling into the well", there is no need to interact with them.
As the saying goes: "The cold knows the pine cypress, and the tribulations see the truth." ”
In the winter, you can see the perseverance of the pine cypress. When you encounter difficulties, you can distinguish who is a good person and who is a bad person. Therefore, most people think that the people who "send charcoal in the snow" are good people.
In the past, it was still very common to send charcoal in the snow, at least in the past, people's hearts and minds were relatively small. However, in today's world, although material is abundant, human feelings are indifferent.
Charcoal in the snow has long been a thing of the past, and indifference is the norm today. What's more, not only will you do something cold and heartless, but you will also fall into the well and cause you secondary harm.
Like some of your relatives, they see you depressed, and instead of pulling you, they push you when you can't hold on, and they hurt you even more.
Therefore, nowadays, there is a popular saying on the Internet, and people who look at it coldly are already great benevolent people. And those who fall into the well are the villains.
For us, even if they are a little indifferent, this is the normal human condition. However, once they do something wrong, we still have to stay away from these people and never have anything to do with them.
03
For friends and family who are "taking advantage of everything", there is no need to deal with them.
Between outsiders and outsiders, the emphasis is on the "relationship of interests". You have interests that I don't have, I have interests that you don't have, and the two sides cooperate with each other to maintain a certain relationship.
The same is true of the relationship between relatives, you know how to respect me, and I will respect you. Only by respecting each other's "interests" can they maintain a long-term relationship.
However, there are many people who do not think so. They feel that interests are more important than feelings. As a result, they made the "take advantage" thing.
In fact, it is also human nature to take advantage, as long as you leave some leeway for others, it will be fine. However, some people are insatiable, not only to "army" you, but also to eat your "car".
It's like when you do business with a relative, and the relative makes a lot of money and earns your share, and you get nothing. Is there still a need for such a cheap relative to come and go?
Taking advantage is not a problem, at least leave some room for others to benefit, this is the behavior of people.
04
For friends and relatives who "hate people, laugh at people", there is no need to interact with them.
There is a folk saying that hates people and laughs at people.
People hate you for having money, but laugh at you for having nothing. Whether you have money or not, others still want to hurt you, and even look down on you.
It reminds me of a saying that someone calls you to find out about the situation, not to care about you, but to prove that you are not as good as him.
In human nature, there is such a "dark" psychology, that is, the psychology of "seeing no one is good".
You're better than him, and he's not happy. You're worse than him, and he's definitely very happy. This is the inevitable result of "comparing with each other".
We may wish to think about such a question, are friends and relatives, are all related people, why do we have to do such a thing?
There is no why. Because human nature is more unpredictable than the weather, you have no idea what the other person is going to do in the next moment. Therefore, it is particularly necessary to reduce unnecessary contact with white-eyed wolf relatives.
05
Write to the end
Lao Tzu once said in the Tao Te Ching: "The voices of chickens and dogs are heard, and old and dead do not interact with each other." ”
Lao Tzu believed that if the relationship between people is too good, contradictions are easy to appear, which leads to social disputes. Instead of allowing contradictions to arise, it is better for people to reduce their interactions, so as to build a harmonious society.
In fact, this view of Lao Tzu is nothing more than the "hedgehog effect" in psychology.
Two hedgehogs hugging each other can only hurt each other. Only by leaving far away can we all be at peace with each other and get a certain amount of freedom from each other.
In the case of friends and family, maybe one moment we are still relatives, but the next moment we are enemies. This, in fact, is very common. So why don't we reduce our interactions?
Old and dead do not interact with each other, this is not a desperate love, but a practice of "each being at peace with each other". Since being together will hurt, it is better that you respect my freedom and I respect your choice. That's all.
Wen/Shushan has deer