Some time ago, I chatted with a beautiful girlfriend and talked about her family, which can also be said that she has no "home".
Shortly after her birth, her parents divorced, she was raised by her father, but her father soon remarried, her stepmother could not tolerate it, her mother disappeared, and then she had grandparents to raise.
When she was twelve years old, her grandparents died one after another, even so, her father did not want her mother to want to, and finally she lived with her aunt, and when she was fifteen or sixteen years old, she dropped out of school and went out to work.
Even if her grandparents and aunts gave her more love, she also longed for the love of her parents, and she would earn money after working, at this time her parents also appeared, and she was very happy at first.
Yes, her parents finally saw her. However, what awaited her was not the love of her parents, but the hurt again.
Even if she was hurt, she felt that it didn't matter, because the closest thing to her in the world besides her aunt was her parents. Until the previous year, when she could no longer satisfy her parents' appetites, her father bought a house and forced her to take out a loan, and she compromised; her mother bought a house and forced her to borrow money, and she also compromised; but when she was not able to pay, her parents became transparent again.
The death of her aunt and the hurt of her parents once again made her completely dead to her parents. She said that her aunt was gone, her "home" was gone, and when she said this, her eyes were full of faint sadness, but she did not see her tears.
She said that she would only live for herself in the future, but whether she really lived for herself, I think only later will we know!
But the harm brought to her by the original family, as can be seen in her eyes, should not be erased for a lifetime.
After listening to her story, I remembered a movie that I had watched several times and was closely related to the original family, but the heroine was not "knocked down" by the original family - the desert flower.
Based on the bestseller autobiography of Black Somali model Wallis Diri, the film is a true story, directed by Sherry Holman, produced in the UK, starring Leah Corbed, Sally Hawkins and others, and released in the UK in 2009.
The film tells the story of Wallis coming out of the Somali desert to become the world's top supermodel.
I've seen this movie five or six times before and after, and each time the feeling is different, but every time the feeling is the same. The same thing: The feeling after watching this movie at the time was that I was lucky to be born in China and lucky to live in the 21st century. The difference is: 1. It turns out that not all parents love their children; 2. The cruelty in this world is far more cruel than we think; 3. Those whose parents are sound and love them, when they complain about the unfairness of fate, I would like to say how happy you are; 4. It is already the new century, why do those old customs still exist?
(1) Leaving is not death, it is starting over
Wallis Diri was born in the desolate Somali desert, forced to undergo a brutal female circumcision at the age of three, and at the age of three she was powerless to resist, and at the age of twelve she was married by her father to a sixty-year-old sorcerer for five camels.
This time she did not want to accept, she looked at her sister, because she could not find a suitable circumcision, dragged until the age of seven or eight to circumcise and lost her life, watched her mother give birth to one child after another, lived a life without a meal, experienced pain from childhood, saw too much suffering around her, so this time she did not bow to fate, she resisted.
With the acquiescence of her mother, she ran away barefoot and walked in the desert for a few days and nights, and finally walked out of the desert that surrounded the misfortune of many women, almost lost her life when she walked out of the desert, and finally found her grandmother in Mogadishu.
With the help of her grandmother, she moved to the Somali Embassy in London, England, where she worked as a maid. She fought for herself, she fought for herself, she fought with fate, and she succeeded.
I have seen such a passage in a book, some people follow the arrangement of fate, from the beginning to the end of the established journey is a victory. And many more people, unwilling to follow the arrangement of fate, their path will either become barren and luxuriant, or desolate and prosperous.
When fighting against fate, we often say, "My fate is up to me." Since we are unwilling to give in, we must try to work hard for the unwillingness.
(2) It is not broken, it is the gully that is blocked
Although far away from Somalia and as far away as London, England, Wallis did not have a smooth sailing in Britain.
The distant somali war suddenly broke out, and the British embassy could only withdraw, and the embassy officials could only flee back to Somalia. Wallis did not want to return to Somalia, she "escaped" out of the small world with the wild horses, and she fled to the vast world.
She had never walked out of the embassy, and she didn't speak English, wandering the streets, rummaging through trash cans for food. She didn't speak the language and had to hide from being discovered by people she knew before, so she walked into a bustling mall and stole the brightly colored jewelry and clothes in the store.
Cautiously, she was still discovered by the clerk, and she left her stolen things and ran away.
She hid in the bathroom, hoping that time would forget how she looked when she stole something. When she was worried, Marilyn, the clerk who found her stealing, was also on the phone in the bathroom. Wallis, who was hiding in the bathroom, was found by Marilyn, but Marilyn did not report her. She thought Marilyn was a good person, and just happened to find the paper that Marilyn had dropped, which had Marilyn's address and phone number on it.
Marilyn's behavior and the address of the drop undoubtedly give Wallace a glimmer of hope in the desperate situation. She followed Marilyn to the bus, and with her perseverance and softening of Marilyn's heart, she received Marilyn's help. I have a poor but slightly stable place to live, and a job where I can keep my food and clothing.
I was very happy to be with Marilyn, trying to learn English while trying to live a hard life. Wallis was seen by a famous photographer at the place where she worked, and explained what she did, and also gave Wallis a business card, but Wallis's English communication skills were still very poor, and she thought that the photographer was a bad person, carefully avoided, but still put the business card in her pocket.
As a woman, when she saw this, she could feel the strength of Wallace's hard work and the determination not to give in and be willing to work hard.
(3) Is that it, or is it moving on
Wallis worked hard and didn't take the photographer seriously, and one day while having dinner with Marilyn, she mentioned the photographer who gave her her business card and gave it to Marilyn. Marilyn said it was a photographer who took pictures of supermodels, but also told her what a model was and told her to try it out and let her decide for herself.
Fate will always give you a blow when your hopes are in full swing. While the two were chatting happily, Wallis, who was menstruating, suddenly had a stomachache, and Marilyn took her to the community free clinic. After the doctor in the hospital examined, he saw the woman's private part sewn up after being circumcised, and after being shocked, he said that he would do the operation immediately, and called a male nurse to take it for examination.
The male nurse, who happened to be from Somalia, scolded Wallis in Somali language, saying that she was unchaste, that she was seen by other men, and that she should not have ruined her virginity. Wallis fled into the wilderness, the operation was not over, and then once encountered Marilyn and her boyfriend shy, Wallis was very ashamed, thinking that Marilyn was an improper woman.
The two men quarreled, and when Marilyn learned the truth about the circumcision, she could not calm down for a long time. She tells Wallis that not all women have to be circumcised, and at this point, Wallis realizes that not all women have to be circumcised. She couldn't believe that she was walking alone on the bustling street.
Unconsciously, she walked to a shop and looked at the woman inside who had the same skin color as her, but her whole body was covered with black cloth, revealing only a pair of eyes outside. She watched thoughtfully as the women inside chose brightly colored clothes, but no matter how beautiful the clothes were, they were blocked by the black cloth.
Perhaps stimulated by the black cloth and gorgeous clothes, Wallace does not want to go back to the past, does not want to be affected by the previous events, the trauma in the heart may not be seen, but the physical trauma has not been smoothed out, and the physical trauma is still reminding her that the past has not passed.
Eventually Wallis went to the hospital, she let the past pass, she was no longer afraid of the past, no longer afraid of the male nurse, she not only opened the wounds on the body, but also opened another way in life.
Since I am already in adversity, then I will go against the wind, and when I cross the fork in life, I think that there is a sky of my own in front of me.
(4) Fighting against fate is a game and a counterattack
After the operation, Wallis contacted the photographer and, on the photographer's recommendation, went to a modeling agency. With her tall and thin body, coupled with the advantage of a three-dimensional face, she has slowly achieved some results in the modeling world.
However, fate has not yet lost.
One day, Wallis's agent informed her that she could get out of England and go to France to go on the catwalk. It was also a chance for Wallace to shine, as the agent discovered that Wallace's passport had long since expired and that she was about to face being deported back to Somalia if discovered by the Immigration Service.
The agent spent a lot of money on packaging Wallis, and of course it wouldn't be that way. Finally, the landlord of Wallis and Marilyn's accommodation helped to take the special passage to apply for a passport. When Wallis was happily preparing to leave England and go to the world, she was found by customs that her passport was fake, and she was temporarily detained at customs.
When her agency paid for her bail, she was faced not with the job of the catwalk, but with how to solve the problem of her passport.
In the end, she chose to fake marriage with someone else, and divorced a year later to get a passport. In the end, Wallis shined on the stage of the model, she became popular, had money, and had her own house.
If there is no light in the modeling world, if there is no accumulated confidence, if there is no encouragement from friends around her later, if there is no escape for the first time. I think Wallis will choose to bow to fate and return to Somalia to spend her life when her passport is found to have expired.
Her strength and unyielding eventually allowed her to win the game against fate. Think about it a thousand times, it's better to do it once. A gorgeous fall is better than a senseless wandering. Because the two most terrible words in the world, one is called persistence, one is called serious, serious people change themselves, persistent people change their destiny, and there is no doubt that Wallis has done it.
(5) Face the past and be the best version of yourself
In the eyes of many people who do not know what Wallis has been through, she is a big winner in the eyes of many people. She bloomed on the world stage, she was radiant, and her life should be complete.
As she bloomed on the world stage, there were many media that wanted to interview her, and at first Wallis did not dare to accept an interview, she was afraid to face her past self, and perhaps even more afraid that everything in front of her was over the clouds.
Later, she was interviewed, and when the interviewer asked her if she had a very happy home. Wallis was silent for a long time, telling her past little by little, and she calmly finished talking about her past. The reporter who interviewed her cried, and the reporter probably did not expect that behind The gorgeous Wallis was hiding such an unknown pain.
After the interview was released, which caused an uproar in the society, Wallis was also invited by the United Nations to tell people around the world about her past, but also for women who were as unfortunate as her but could not come out, and called on the world to abolish such vices as circumcision.
Wallis did not succumb to fate, she stubbornly walked forward again and again in adversity, she crossed the thorny road on her life path.
She succeeded, and her real success was in the most gorgeous moment, choosing to face the past, facing the hurt of the past, and finally choosing to be the best version of herself.
She used the pain of her own original family to finally tell us with determination, calmness, confidence, grace and great love that when fate gives you injustice, do not be afraid, do not cower, do not grieve, do not complain; to fight, to work hard, to learn, and then wait for the opportunity to break through injustice.
Life gives us too much load, and we move forward tenaciously in a rickety posture. But every step you take is a new starting point, not afraid of the moment, every step you take is a successful footprint. Only after experiencing the torment of trekking and the baptism of frustration will it gradually become thick and full. Falling down without crying, it's tough; falling down and getting back on your feet, it's tough. Fate has cast too many shadows on our path, with your tenacity and strength, I believe that I will eventually succeed and shine!
I think that whether it is the harm brought to you by the original family, or the harm brought to you by life, work, or love and friendship, even if it traps you for a while, as long as you don't recognize it, it can tolerate you.