Literature/learning is the treasure of the body
Scott Pike, in His Book The Road Few: The Journey of Mental Maturity, gives a relatively complete definition of love, saying, "Love is a willingness to improve oneself in order to promote the intellectual maturity of the self and others."
He used the word "will" to emphasize its place in the emotional field, because "willingness" not only reflects the power of action, but also implies the active choice of both parties, that is, each other is willing to work for this love.
Just like the concept of love shown in the movie "Waiting Alone", that is, love, after all, two real people meet, like each other, and achieve each other.
The film mainly tells the story of the bustling city, the young Chen Wen and his group of friends with their own dreams, wandering on the horizon of waiting and searching all day long. After accidentally meeting Liu Rong, the ideal love target, Chen Wen's passion for love was instantly ignited. At the instigation of his friends and through the so-called "love expert" nicknamed "Sun Tzu", Chen Wen desperately exhibited a variety of courtship strategies, deducing a romantic plot with comedic color. However, at this time, Li Jing, a playmate who had secretly helped him for many years, silently hid his true love for Chen Wen in his heart. In the end, Chen Wen was unable to be with his dream lover Liu Rong, and he was also in a different city with Li Jing, who had been in love with him for many years, leaving him alone, waiting for the arrival of love alone.
In today's article, I will talk about what kind of love can last from the perspective of love.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >1. Dream lover-style love: Chen Wen's efforts for love are actually losing himself</h1>
Everyone has a dream lover in their hearts, and we outline our perfect partner according to the ideal mold.
Just like Chen Wen in the film, he regards Liu Rong as his ideal partner, such as having a sense of humor, being beautiful, and rushing to pay for eating together, etc., which are in line with his mate selection criteria.
Chen Wen believes that Liu Rong is the most suitable person for himself.
However, Chen Wen forgot that love is not wishful thinking, but two loves.
Although Liu Rong also likes to be with him, he is just a friend, not a partnership.
Chen Wen did not accept defeat and continued to pursue, but in the process of pursuing, he slowly lost himself.
For example, when they were in a nightclub together, Chen Wen, who originally did not like to drink Budweiser, began to like to drink, in order to please Liu Rong; Chen Wen's elaborate sugar ring delivery link was seen by Liu Rong as a joke, etc. In short, Chen Wen's efforts for love were not rewarded.
In fact, the "love" between Chen Wen and Liu Rong is just a subjective wish of Chen Wen himself.
As Scott Pike said, "Throughout the ages, there have been all sorts of absurd perceptions of 'love.'" The most common misconception is to think of men and women in love, especially falling in love as love, or falling into love as the embodiment of love. ”
Chen Wen believes that he has fallen in love and found the lover of his dreams, but that is just his own illusion, because love needs to face reality, and know and love each other on the basis of truly understanding each other.
When Chen Wen put down Liu Rong, he confessed that he had two doubts, one was that he did not know what Liu Rong was busy with all day, and the other was that he did not know the purpose of coming to his house that day, which showed that Chen Wen did not understand what the real Liu Rong really was like, and naturally could not have true love.
The lover in the dream is just a "dream".
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" >2. Crush restrained love: Li Jing's efforts for love are actually hiding her weakness</h1>
In addition to the "love affair" of Chen Wen and Liu Rong in the film, there is also Li Jing's long-term crush on Chen Wen.
Crush may be restrained love.
Li Jing has liked Chen Wen since high school and gets along with Chen Wen as a "buddy", for example, she is willing to be Chen Wen's temporary girlfriend to anger Liu Rong in order to help Chen Wen pursue Liu Rong; she is willing to be a comforter for Chen Wen when he is in pain of lost love and comfort Chen Wen; she can silently prepare a birthday party for Chen Wen at Liu Rong's house, in order to make Chen Wen happy and happy, etc., in short, she has been paying silently.
Her efforts do not want to be rewarded; her love for Chen Wen may not expect results.
In my opinion, her dedication to love is actually a cover-up for her vulnerability.
In other words, she doesn't have the courage to pursue this love.
This reminds me of the restrained love that Mark played in the movie "True Love Is Supreme". Mark had always liked a friend (married), but didn't pick it out, and later on Christmas Eve, plucked up the courage to give himself and the other person the best love in the right way. He confessed with cardboard at the door of the other party's home, both sincere and not crossing the line.
I think that Li Jing's love for Chen Wen is also sincere, but she did not let Chen Wen look at her true self, so Chen Wen did not know that this strong love existed.
From this point of view, the crush restrained love cannot become a reality because the other party does not know.
Even at the end of the film, Chen Wen knows Li Jing's love for himself, but perhaps Chen Wen thinks that Li Jing is only suitable for being a friend, not suitable for being a partner, or waiting for Li Jing to open her mouth, so Chen Wen chooses to "wait alone".
The open-ended ending of the film brings a lot of space for the audience to think, who is the most suitable for themselves, what is love in the end, I believe that everyone has their own answers in their hearts.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" >3. True love is when two real people meet and accomplish each other</h1>
As mentioned earlier, Chen Wen lost himself and failed to get true love when pursuing the lover of his dreams; Li Jing's crush on Chen Wen did not get results, and the reasons for this were the lack of true mutual in love.
Chen Wen did not understand the real Liu Rong, and also lost his own truth; Li Jing also hid his true self in front of Chen Wen, so these two relationships did not achieve positive results.
True love is when two real people meet and accomplish each other.
First, true love, there are no rules to follow.
True love, there are no rules to follow, more of a feeling of no reason.
Chen Wen in the film has been following the so-called rules of the love game, going step by step, but in the end it failed. Because the way he expresses love under his rules is not what the other party wants. Liu Rong said many times that he was not that kind of girl.
To truly love someone, give it in the way the other person likes.
Of course, this is not to ask us to love in a flattering way, but to say that on the basis of mutual understanding, we should deal with real emotions.
As Li Jing said in the film: "Don't change yourself." "Change" here means flattery.
The feeling of seeming "no reason" is actually to follow our inner feelings, which may be what we often call fate.
Second, true love is a feeling of mutual attraction.
True love must be mutually attracted to each other.
Because wishful thinking love is just unrequited love, just like Chen Wen in the film, Liu Rong just wants to be an ordinary friend, it is he himself who has not put the right position and misunderstood their relationship.
Love is not one party to give, the other party must accept; love, is mutual attraction.
As Li Jing said in the film: "Sometimes, you can't force the other party to love you, you can only be a person who is loved by others, and the rest depends on how the other party is." ”
Yes, love cannot be forced, only two loves can last.
Third, true love, mutual achievement.
Scott Pike, defining love from the perspective of mental maturity, is actually saying that love needs to be achieved by each other, that is, self-improvement together, and hard work together to grow.
Li Jing in the film does a good job in this regard, she is the one who helps her partner to improve herself. For example, she encouraged Chen Wen to create well and write things from the heart; she allowed Chen Wen to be herself, and did not need to care too much about the opinions of the publisher.
It's just this love, Chen Wen understands as friendship, not love. Maybe neither of them had the courage to approach a partnership.
But to truly love someone is to let them be themselves and accompany them forward.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > written at the end:</h1>
Although the movie "Waiting Alone" is dedicated to the person who slipped away from us, the word "slip away" not only reminds us to cherish the people around us who love themselves, but also tells the person who slips away that love should be spoken out loud.
True love needs to face reality, not imagine in dreams; true love, not to lose oneself, but to achieve each other; true love, not to guess and guess, but to confess loudly; true love, but to seize the opportunity, pay action, and keep love.
Of course, if we haven't met the right person yet, choose to wait.
Wait alone, just for true love.
End of this article
Thank you for reading