Is it wrong to refuse to marry a man who rapes himself? The story of an Ethiopian girl

Wernisher is a black girl from Ethiopia, with a lighter complexion, long hair combed back, and a serious and determined expression on her face. In the countryside where she grew up, there is a long tradition of kidnapping and raping girls. In rural Ethiopia, if a young man has a crush on a girl but cannot afford to pay the dowry, or if he thinks that the woman's family may not accept him, he will gather several friends to kidnap and rape the girl. In this way, he immediately gained a negotiating advantage, because it was difficult for a girl to marry someone else after she broke her body. The risk borne by the man is minimal, because the woman's parents never dare to accuse the rapist, otherwise the daughter will be discredited and will be spurned by society for violating traditional customs. Indeed, in the era of Wonisher's rape, Ethiopian law clearly stated that a man would not be prosecuted for assaulting a woman, as long as he married him afterwards.

"There are many examples of this in our village." Vonicher's father, Gimotone, said. He left the village a few years ago to work as a hawker in the capital Addis Ababa and regularly returns to see his family. "I know it's bad for girls, but we can't do anything about it, and they all marry men who rape themselves. The men were at large, and everyone knew what they had done, but they did it again and again. ”

Wonie snow and her father sat in the shack, describing the incident. Located on the edge of addis Ababa, the shacks rumble outside without silencers in cars and buses. Neighbours live on all sides, and the rooms are separated only by thin walls. Wonieche and her father whispered so that they wouldn't hear about her rape. Woniech was introverted, and when her father tried to explain that the villagers were not bad people, she kept staring at her hands and occasionally glancing at him. "In the village, stealing is a shameful act." He said, "If someone steals a goat, everyone beats him up." "But why is the kidnapping of girls allowed?

"The crime of stealing something is still more serious than stealing a person." Gibbonne said sadly. He glanced at Wonieux and said, "I never thought this would happen in our house." ”

Sitting in the dimly lit shack, Vorny Snow's gaze was still mostly when she was drooping. She continued in a quiet tone. At that time, she was just a 13-year-old seventh-grader living in the village.

"We slept soundly when they came," she said quietly. "It could be half past eleven in the middle of the night. I guess there were more than four of them. We don't have electricity at home, but they have a flashlight with them. They broke through the door and took me away. Our whole family shouted loudly, but no one came to stop it. ”

Woniech didn't know Aberew Jemma, who had kidnapped her, and never spoke to him, but Aberus had noticed her long ago. For two whole days, the gang kept beating and raping her. Her family and teacher went to the police and asked for help. When the police arrived, Vonicher escaped—she ran uncontrollably on the village path, crying and screaming, covered in blood and scars.

When Gibbonei heard that his daughter had been kidnapped, he rushed back from the capital, unwilling to let his hard-working and lovely daughter marry the man who raped her. While in Addis Ababa, he often listened to the Ethiopian Women Lawyers Association broadcast broadcasts on women's rights; He also saw that women in the capital were able to work with confidence, hold important positions, enjoy rights and a degree of equality. So Gibbane consulted with Vonicher and decided not to marry Abelu. Both father and daughter are taciturn and low-key people, but they are very backbone, and neither of them is willing to give in. Although they are afraid, they are still unwilling to calm down in the traditional way. They decided to report the incident to the police.

Wonie snow walked five miles, found the nearest bus stop sign, waited for a bus for two days, and struggled all the way to the town with a rehabilitation center. There, the nurse helped her with a pelvic examination and wrote in her medical record: "She is no longer a virgin. There are many bruises and scratches on the body. ”

When Vonisher returned to the village, the elders hoped that her family would reconcile with Aberu. In order to avoid a bloody feud between the two sides, they constantly pressured Gibbane to accept the dowry of the two cows and let Vonishhe marry Abelu. And such a deal, Yoshimoto did not even want to talk about. The two sides are deadlocked, and Abelu and his family are increasingly worried about being prosecuted. They devised a solution: Aberus kidnapped Vonisher again, took her far away, and continued to beat and rape her until she agreed to get married.

Vonycher managed to escape, but was caught again on the way home. Incredibly, after kidnapping her, Aberu took her to the district court and forced her to show the judge that she was willing to marry him. However, Voenecher, a small girl who had been repeatedly abused by men, told court officials that she had been kidnapped and begged to be allowed to return home. The male judge, who did not bother to hear what happened to a girl, advised Voynicher to marry Abero, regardless of her previous suspicions.

"Even if you go home, Abelus will continue to trouble you," the judge told her, "and it is useless to resist." ”

Voynicher's heart was decided. She wasn't going to get married yet, much less marry the man who raped her. "I want to stay in school." She recalled softly in her voice, with a rather determined attitude. Aberus locked her up in a deep courtyard with high walls. Everyone saw her locked up and heard her screaming for help, but no one paid any attention to her. Once, she climbed over the wall and escaped.

"Everyone blames me for breaking traditions," Said Vorny Snow angrily, her eyes temporarily lifted from her hands, "they criticized me and said how I could escape." Their attitude made me very angry. To survive, Voenecher moved to a police station prison – the victims of rape were held in prison, while the rapists were at large. Police dragged on for a while before they began to gather evidence, including the knocked-down door of Voonicher's home and her torn and blood-stained clothes. They also heard testimony from many eyewitnesses in the village. However, the judge hearing the case considered the prosecution of Aberu to be a mistake. At the hearing, the judge asked Woniescher: "He wants to marry you, why did you refuse?" ”

In the end, the judge sentenced Abelu to ten years in prison. But a month later, for unknown reasons, the judge released him again. Vonisher fled to Addis Ababa and moved into her father's small shack. "I decided to leave and go to a place where no one knew me." She added slowly but firmly: "I will never marry in my life, and I don't want to be involved with any man." ”

The text comes from "The Other Half of the Sky", and I recommend you to read the original book.