Being a person, if you like to raise the bar too much, life is boring.
There is a hot question on the Internet: "Why are there people who have to lift the bar when they die?" ”
One of the high-ranking zan replied: "They may think that lifting the bar is more profitable than playing the flag." ”
People who like to raise bars, maybe he does not have profound wisdom, nor does he have a lofty vision, but he is very confident in himself and very dismissive of others.
Even if he just doesn't want to lose, so he would rather not be decent, but also find the dignity of "winning".
So many times, they are purely for the sake of "disgusting" others, not really caring, but deliberately misinterpreting, and even deliberately attacking provocation.
When the other party feels unhappy, or even feels offended and counterattacks, the bar lifter will pretend to be innocent and say that people can't afford to play.
If you blindly raise the bar, in fact, the quality cannot be improved.
If the quality cannot be improved, the quality of life will naturally gradually decline.
Therefore, as a person, the minimum quality is: don't raise the bar
1: The person who lifts the bar is not cute
The person who likes to raise the bar when he speaks is that no matter what others say, he will definitely come against you, no matter who the object is.
There is such a story about the origin of the word "lever".
In 2018, a netizen published a cartoon about "bar spirit" on the Internet, and there was a girl in the comic who confessed to a "bar spirit" boy and then asked the other party to take herself to see his mother.
Who knew that this "bar spirit" man replied very seriously: "Only this matter can not be, because the 'bar spirit' does not deserve to have a mother." ”
This story makes people feel angry and funny to read, and I think it is quite accurate to describe it in my heart.
However, if we put it in reality, if we encounter such a "lever essence", it is estimated that instead of feeling funny, we will feel very helpless and angry.
People who like to lift the bar, such people when they carry out the "bar lifting" behavior, they do not care whether what they say is correct, what they always care about is that they are unhappy when they deny everything.
These people, who often hang on their lips, are:
"Is it just me who finds this kind of gathering boring?"
"Is it the only thing I think the food in this restaurant is very difficult to eat?"
"Am I the only one who thinks these things don't look good?"
Then, in the face of others' counterattacks, he will answer very innocently:
"I'm just kindly reminding, I'm just friendly discussion, why should I?" You're too real, on the line. ”
Psychology has a "Duck Effect", which is defined as a person who is incompetent and makes a wrong decision under the premise of his own lack of consideration, but never admits his own mistake.
To put it bluntly, really stupid people often don't know that they are stupid people.
In the face of these people, no matter how high a person's quality is and how big the pattern is, they will not feel that they are cute.
I saw this sentence in "Youlan Exercise":
"Cooperation is like an orchid, carrying forward its fragrance; picking and admiring it, win-win four-way."
Truly lovely people must be people with first-class quality and first-class character.
These people understand the simple truth that "the wise lift people, and the fools lift the levers."
Therefore, these people will uphold a mentality of "paving the way for people and building bridges for people" in life.
In life, to make others comfortable is actually to make yourself comfortable, which is the feasible point of a lovely person.
2: Lift the bar, fail
To become a lever lifter for a while may only be to get their own temporary benefits, comfort, comfort, and satisfaction.
But if you have been reduced to a lever lifter, life will eventually go to the point of rebellion and separation, and life will also go into the abyss of exhaustion.
The humble of the wise, the arrogant of the fool, the person who likes to raise the bar, it seems that it is only a few small details of a momentary matter, but only a little episode in life.
However, whether the road of life is to go to the road of prosperity or to fall to the bottom, is not it determined by some small details in the words and deeds of the daily life?
In "Han Feizi Yu Lao", it is written:
The of a thousand feet collapses with the nest of ants, and the chamber of a hundred feet burns with the blazing of a gap.
As the so-called of a thousand miles collapses in an ant nest, the reason why a person fails is usually due to the failure in details.
It is precisely because sometimes a small problem, because the individual does not pay attention, thus thwarting a whole, missing the big picture.
Just like a person who likes to raise the bar, in the eyes of some people, it is just a temporary bad habit, but it is only a small flaw in morality, a little problem, not enough to hang on to the teeth, so it is ignored.
However, it is in such a state of mind that allowing the "lifting the bar" mentality to develop may eventually brew a huge harm in life.
Writer Li Xiaomo said:
"Always outperforming others in words is the lowest emotional intelligence I've ever seen."
Perhaps we all know that people who like to lift the bar will see this sentence and will probably be happy to come up with some materials to raise the bar, and they may not feel that their emotional intelligence is low until they die.
However, what a truly intelligent person should experience in this sentence is a description of the person who lifts the bar, rather than subtly becoming that kind of person.
To be a person, it is still necessary to follow the normal logic as much as possible, quit the competitive personality, and refuse to do a good job as soon as possible.
In this way, do your duty, imitate the wise, and become strong.
3: Don't raise the bar
Be human, or don't raise the bar, it is neither interesting nor cute.
Benjamin Franklin said:
"If you always raise the bar and refute it, maybe you can win once in a while.
But that's just an empty victory, because you'll never get the other person's favor. ”
It is not easy to be a person, so why be an offensive person?
Even if you get a temporary victory and let yourself get away with it for a while, then what happens next? Have you considered the consequences?
Those who lift the bar, in a word, are not cultivated enough, their wisdom is not deep, and their character is inferior.
Imagine a person who specializes in lifting the bar for fun, every day to lose each other, pick people's pain points, and pour salt on people's wounds.
Then, over time, the light state of life is difficult, upset, the heavy fish is broken, and the trouble is entangled, why bother?
Writer Sponge says:
"The weak tear each other apart and detach from morality, and eventually harm themselves;
The strong help each other, feel sorry for each other, and will eventually help themselves. ”
May you strive to be a strong person, refuse the weak to tear each other apart, abandon the bar, and in the circle of the strong, feel sorry for each other, help each other.
In this way, the pattern is supported and the realm is created.
Then, the sea is wide with fish leaping, and the sky is high for birds to fly.
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