Yu Juan
What kind of glory will a person's life have? At only 33 years old, she is already a female doctor at Fudan University.
What kind of pain can a person achieve in life? At the age of 33, because of a sudden bad news, he lived in pain all day long and lived like a year.
This is not a fake life that people have fabricated, but Yu Juan's personal experience.
Heavenly woman, a dream shattered
Born in 1978, Yu Juan has been a child of someone else's family since she was a child. His father is a hotel manager, his mother is a clerk, and Yu Juan, who grew up in Shuxiang mendi, has always been among the best in his grades.
Later, Yu Juan went to Shanghai Jiao Tong University to study, met her husband who was six years older than herself, and the two young hearts attracted each other, and soon fell in love.
After graduation, Yu Juan became an employee of the Shanghai Software Company, while her husband stayed at Jiaotong University to teach.
However, soon after working, Yu Juan was tired of such an unchanging life. She hoped that she could complete her former "Fudan dream", so she decided to return to the road of examination and research.
In 2001, after several years of perseverance, Yu Juan was finally admitted to the School of Sociology of Fudan University. After that, Yu Juan began to study busily.
In order to strive for the opportunity to study for master's and doctoral degrees, Yu Juan shuttled through clubs and competitions, and was as busy as a gyroscope. The couple has just entered the society and can only use the only salary to buy a small house. Although such a life is poor, Yu Juan feels very satisfied.
In 2004, Yu Juan was offered the opportunity to study in Norway. Faced with her choice, her husband was unconditionally supportive. In this way, Yu Juan shuttled through a foreign country and continued to enrich herself.
Finally, Yu Juan returned from her studies and stayed at Fudan University to teach. Because Fudan University is too far from home, Yu Juan spends three or four hours a day attending school.
Yu Juan and her husband
Looking back on her life at that time, Yu Juan was always tired. Fortunately, with the joint efforts of her husband, life gradually improved.
In 2007, Yu Juan became pregnant with a child. She still did not dare to stop, busy with papers and topics.
Shortly after the birth of the child "Potato", Yu Juan gave up her rest and threw herself into work again. Yu Juan will always fantasize that her future self will have a successful career and a harmonious family, and become a winner in life.
The bad news in 2009 crushed Yu Juan and her entire family. In October, Yu Juan accidentally sprained her waist while riding a bicycle and was unable to move. In desperation, she had to go to the hospital.
Yu Juan with the child
At first, the doctor could not find out the cause, Yu Juan gritted her teeth and insisted, and even fainted directly.
Later, after a comprehensive diagnosis by doctors, Yu Juan suffered from cancer, and her condition had developed to an advanced stage, which could not be solved by surgery, and could only rely on chemotherapy and drug treatment to barely maintain her life.
Doctors said her life was only a little over a year away. This news was like a thunderbolt on a sunny day, completely crushing Yu Juan's psychological defense line.
In her opinion, she is only in her 30s, her body has always been healthy, her child has just been born for a year, breast cancer and other diseases, why would they find her?
She repeatedly confirmed with the doctor that unfortunately, the hospital still pronounced Yu Juan's "death sentence". Gradually, Yu Juan still calmed down. She began to wonder why she had suffered from such a serious illness.
"At the critical point of life and death, you will find that any overtime (staying up late for a long time is equal to chronic suicide), giving yourself too much pressure, the need to buy a house and a car, these are all floating clouds." This is Yu Juan's answer.
Yu Juan's life of more than 30 years seems to be running forever. When she was studying, Yu Juan was under great pressure in order to study for graduate school, phD, and stay in school. In just 3 years, she received her master's and doctoral degrees from the University of Oslo, Norway.
Such an amazing speed makes Yu Juan wear a halo, and no one knows that behind the brilliance is the result of Yu Juan's crazy squeezing of her body.
Later, Yu Juan returned to China. She works in a race against the clock during the day, and still picks up lights and fights at night, taking various certificates and taking over national, provincial and municipal projects.
In order to earn more money, Yu Juan set herself a goal of two to three years to become an associate professor, for which she desperately overdrafted her body. As Yu Juan recalls: "Everyone I knew slept late. ”
Lying on the hospital bed, on the verge of death, Yu Juan suddenly realized that whether it was a house, a car, or fame and fortune, it was something outside of her body. All of this is not as good as the mutual companionship of family members.
"If you have time, spend time with your children, give the money to buy a car to your parents to buy a pair of shoes, don't desperately try to change to a big house, and be with the people you love, the snail house is also warm." 」
After realizing this, Yu Juan rekindled her hope for life. She didn't want her children to lose their mothers, and she didn't want her parents to send black haired people.
Yes, Yu Juan has been actively cooperating with the doctor's treatment. As Yu Juan said, "I am not a high monk, and if it were not for this disease, I would naturally not be able to let go of the earthly world." ”
In order to express what she thinks and thinks, and in order to let more people understand cancer and stay away from diseases, she opened an account called "Living is King" and recorded her treatment process on the blog.
Yu Juan often said that she now updates her blog every day and is writing with her life.
Sick people are the most miserable, but Yu Juan rarely shows her vulnerable side. The online world is her rare "escapist" time, so her blog records most of the trivial things in life.
Yu Juan recorded on her blog that she once met an aunt in Zhoushan.
My aunt was also a breast cancer patient and had a mastectomy. The aunt was very concerned about this, so she sewed a sandbag and filled it with mung beans.
Soon after, the family found that the aunt's chest was getting bigger and bigger, and the mung beans inside had sprouted.
When the aunt shared this story with Yu Juan, Yu Juan couldn't help but laugh.
Yu Juan wrote this story to tell everyone: "Emotional failure, career setbacks, terminal illness..." Everyone has their own pain, but all the pain will pass.
It's just a long road to anti-cancer, far more difficult than Yu Juan's family imagined. Yu Juan needed to do bone marrow punctures every day, and her body was in constant pain, and she almost fainted.
In order to relieve the physical pain, Yu Juan took a large number of painkillers, and her body was also covered with painkillers.
She was slow to move, and with the support of her family, she changed from one hospital bed to another, which took her half an hour.
At the same time, she needs chemotherapy on a regular basis, and the sequelae brought by chemotherapy have left Yu Juan in endless pain. She vomited dozens of times a day, and vomit was everywhere on her clothes, quilts, and pillows.
"This pain makes the body untouchable, like a piece of ice cream on an oven, and the ice and snow melt quickly," Ms. Yu said.
Long anti-cancer road
Cancer, pain, despair... Since Yu Juan's illness, the whole family has undergone earth-shaking changes. Fortunately, Yu Juan did not give up, and her family did their best.
Yu Juan's husband, in order to alleviate her pain, searched all the books about cancer in the library.
Yu Juan was bedridden all day, and her husband was always by her side, feeding her, wiping her body, encouraging her to face it positively, and never complaining at all.
Yu Juan's in-laws have always regarded her as their own daughter.
They never mentioned Yu Juan's condition, but they did their best to provide her with care every day, "You will definitely be able to get back on your feet", which is the most spoken by the in-laws.
Yu Juan's son "Potato", because he was still young, did not know the imminent death. He was only vaguely aware that Mom seemed to be in some pain.
Whenever this happens, the "potatoes" will always surround the bedside and sing for their mothers: "Only mothers are good in the world..."
The sound of her son's milk made Yu Juan's heart very moved. She held back tears, and her eyes were full of reluctance.
Yu Juan took the hands of her mother and husband and explained: "After you leave, you must take good care of yourself and take good care of potatoes." If possible, every year after that, when my son celebrates his birthday, I will bring him to see me. ”
Yu Juan's mother and father get up at 4:30 every day to boil Chinese medicine, ganoderma lucidum and various supplements for their daughter, and then carefully put them into jars and take the first bus to the hospital to accompany her daughter.
Since Yu Juan's illness, the family that was originally well-off is facing tremendous pressure. The drugs Yu Juan used cost 25,000 yuan each, and one injection was needed every 21 days.
At the same time, Yu Juan needs to cooperate with a box of oral drugs of 10,000 yuan, but this oral medicine can only be insisted on for 14 days.
In order to treat Yu Juan's illness, her parents sold their house in their hometown in Shandong. The 60-square-meter house bought by Yu Juan and her husband has already been mortgaged.
Yu Juan's family of three can only squeeze into a small room with her husband's sister, and life is poor and difficult.
Such tight economic conditions are exacerbated by a scam.
In 2011, Yu Juan's family heard that there was a "divine doctor" in Anhui who was said to be able to cure cancer once and for all.
The desperate family, unwilling to give up any hope of life, led Yu Juan out of the hospital and came to Anhui Selenium-rich Mountain Village.
Dr. Yang, a divine doctor in the population, suggested that Yu Juan undergo traditional Chinese medicine treatment, accompanied by hunger therapy.
Yu Juan and her family were convinced of this, so they stopped the Western medicine prescribed by the hospital, cut off the normal nutritional supply, and only ate a small amount of grapes and taro every day. Due to malnutrition, Yu Juan's condition deteriorated day by day.
At this time, the people discovered that the so-called divine doctor was just a full-fledged liar.
Sick, cheated... Yu Juan is such an unfortunate, but fortunate enough, there are too many people around her silently guarding.
Yu Juan's husband, a cousin named Ah Hai, has been working hard in Shanghai for more than ten years, but his life is still chicken feathers.
However, after learning that his sister-in-law Yu Juan was ill, Ah Hai did not hesitate to go to the mountains, dug up for two days and two nights, brought back a bag of local specialties, and came to the ward to visit Yu Juan.
In order to encourage Yu Juan, he insisted on taking her out of the ward to visit people who shared her illness.
All the relatives and friends were like Ah Hai, and the first thing they saw when they saw Yu Juan was not crying, but encouragement. They gave Juan a thumbs up and said, "It's okay, we can stand it!" ”
Later, Yu Juan's deeds were widely disseminated, and everyone was touched by her strength and decided to help.
Yes, the alumni helped Yu Juan establish a Weibo account and began to collect donations. However, when Yu Juan learned of this, she resolutely refused:
"I don't want my diary to be a fundraising box, and although I need money, I don't want others to misunderstand that I'm an act of fundraising."
After the illness, Yu Juan's most insight was in terms of money: "Life is more important than money." ”
Yu Juan hopes that more people can care about their bodies and understand what is most important in life through her words. "That's enough," Yu Juan said.
It was the support and help of her family and friends that gave Yu Juan great confidence.
Regrets are infinite, and spirits endure forever
In April 2011, Yu Juan's last birthday. At the age of 33, she is about to face the threat of death.
On the days that were originally full of joy and laughter, everyone suppressed their inner pain and smiled in the ward to wish her a happy birthday.
Yu Juan has just finished chemotherapy, and the situation is not optimistic. After the end of the pleural effusion extraction surgery, Yu Juan began to have severe hypoxia and breathing difficulties, suffering and pain.
After a full 36 hours of rescue, she returned from the "ghost door" door.
At this moment, Yu Juan had almost lost the strength to speak, and could only eat a little liquid food.
In order to comfort his mother, Potato sang a happy birthday song, and Yu Juan listened to it, tears flashing in her eyes. This was the happiest time Yu Juan had since her illness.
That day, she endured the pain of illness, supported herself from the hospital bed, and wrote in her blog: "The weather is not very good, the mood is not very bad, the body is not very good, the spirit is not very bad, I climbed up and wrote: 'Happy birthday to me!'" ’”
Many caring people saw that Yu Juan was in good condition and sent their blessings one after another. No one thought that this passage would be her last words left in the world.
Despite everyone's best efforts, they still did not retain Yu Juan's life. In the end, the miracle that the crowd had been waiting for did not happen. On April 19, 2011, Yu Juan left this world forever.
Yu Juan is gone, with infinite regrets, and those who survive are also living in infinite pain and suffering.
After the death of her daughter, Yu Juan's mother changed her name "Su Ping" to "Shu Ping".
In the mother's world, "Su Ping" has already left with her daughter. Since then, holding Yu Juan's photo in a daze is my mother's daily routine.
Yu Juan's mother has revealed many times that her only hope for life is to be reunited with her daughter as soon as possible.
However, thinking of Yu Juan's previous instructions to "take good care of potatoes", her mother suppressed the idea of leaving.
In this way, Yu Juan's mother lived in entanglement and pain all day long, washing her face with tears. The crowd looked in the eyes and were anxious in their hearts. Later, people thought of the story of Yu Juan and the forest.
When Yu Juan went to Norway to study, she was once deeply attracted by the vast forest there.
Hoping to share her life with her mother, she saved money and delivered newspapers from house to house at four o'clock in the morning, braving heavy snow. With Yu Juan's efforts, her mother's travel expenses were finally settled.
Yu Juan lives on the shores of Lake Oslo, and through the window, she can see the lush forest.
She once asked her mother, "Okay?" The mother said with emotion, "It's so good."
Yu Juan replied, "Let's move the Norwegian forest back!" ”
The mother originally thought that this was just a little joke of her daughter and did not care. After Yu Juan's death, her mother always wanted to do something for her.
Later, under the persuasion of Yu Juan's husband, her mother decided to go to the Nine Immortals Mountain and plant a forest for Yu Juan. For ten years, the mother entrusted the potatoes to her son-in-law, while she guarded her only daughter.
It's just that Yu Juan's mother is not an expert, and when she first started planting trees, the survival rate of saplings was low, which once made her fall into despair: "I am useless, I did not take good care of my daughter, and even the trees could not live."
In order to fulfill Yu Juan's wish to move back to the "Norwegian Forest", her mother visited many experts, and she failed again and again, but stood up again and again.
Nine years later, the Nine Immortals Mountain became lush, and 20,000 acres of woods rose from the ground.
The mother said movingly: "You used to say that I was stupid, but now I am not stupid." ”
Seeing the "Norwegian Forest" in front of her, Yu Juan's mother seemed to feel that her daughter had never left.
After Yu Juan left, my friend spent a whole night reading the nearly 100,000 words she left on the blog, watching her struggle and strength, and feeling a lot of emotions in her heart.
After much deliberation, the friend decided to leave a trail of Yu Juan's life.
With the help of friends, Yu Juan's blog records were edited into a physical book, titled "This Life Is Not Completed".
Yu Juan said: "After getting sick, I learned that people should base their happiness on sustainable and long-term life goals, rather than just looking at short-term fame and fortune.
Fame and power, there is no one that is not hard, but there is no one that can be taken away. ”
A few words outline Juan's reflection on life.
As soon as Yu Juan's book was published, it caused an uproar in society. Readers begin to wonder, how should people spend their lives?
Yu Juan's text gave everyone the answer: "I don't want to control the overall situation and the small situation, I don't want to be nosy." I don't have opponents, I don't have enemies anymore, and I don't care who is better than whom. Everything in the world, looking at the flowers from the other side, the clouds are light and the wind is light. ”
In Yu Juan's "This Life Is Not Completed", people find a relaxed attitude. For all those who are struggling to run, this is a hideaway.
Yes, people rushed to buy Yu Juan's books, and in 8 years, hundreds of thousands of copies were sold, which made many professional writers hopeless.
Yu Juan's strong attitude towards life has also been affirmed by Sanlian Life Weekly and China Daily.
Life is so fragile, yet so strong. Yu Juan's life was so short, but with her own strength, she enlightened people's attitude towards life. Yu Juan was born great and strong.
Resources
[1] Qianjiang Evening News, "This life is not complete, but she left a special legacy for her contemporaries"
[2] "Poster News", "The Human World 丨 Yu Juan, the "Norwegian Forest" planted for you by your mother is now like a pavilion"
[3] China News Network, "Fudan female teacher suffers from cancer, the diary says that working overtime to buy a house and a car is a floating cloud"
[4] China Net, "Fudan female teacher writes anti-cancer diaries on her sickbed, buying a house and a car are floating clouds"