Yang Erche Nam, Jihu Asha:
Two women who live very "dare"
Text/Yan Ling sheep
01
As a native of Northwest Yunnan, I have actually been paying close attention to two women, one is Yang Erche Namu, the first female college student of the Mosuo tribe in Lugu Lake, and the other is Jihu Asha, a female of the Yi ethnic group in Liangshan...
Both people have been my role models, after all, a person's example often starts with someone who is closer to him and has a similar situation to himself.
The story of Yang Erche Nam is familiar to everyone, right?
Whether it is the Yi people, the Mosuo people (the household registration is the Naxi people) or ... Their names on the household register have long been Sinicized. For example, my Yi classmates are actually surnamed "Aru", but all of them are registered as "Luo" when registering. A surname Luo, her name sounds like no feature.
The surname of Yang Erchenam is only a transliteration of the surname "Yang". Her hukou real name is Yang Baoxian, but she was born to promote herself, including changing her name, including often putting a flower on her head and eventually making it her own label.
In 2007, when Fast Man was very popular, she served as a judge, because her speech and dressing style were more prominent, and she was widely ridiculed and criticized, but as a person who had seen her growth story, I could not join the team of mockery her.
Yang Erche Nam is a man born in 70 years. Her hometown, I can probably imagine how poor... When she was very young, she couldn't even speak Chinese.
When she was 13 years old, she was discovered by the staff of the local cultural center and brought out to participate in a singing competition, but when she had to go out, she actually walked a mountain road for seven days and seven nights (the traffic was too inconvenient).
Seizing such opportunities, she was able to go to Chengdu and successfully entered the Chengdu City Song and Dance Troupe and became a singing actress.
When she heard that the Shanghai Conservatory of Music was enrolled, she dropped the jade bracelet left by her grandmother and bought a train ticket to take the exam at the school...
She wrote in the book that she had no money to buy clothes, but she wanted to wear them well, so she changed her skirt with white curtains, ran to the pig killer and asked for a rubber black apron to change it into a super short tight skirt, and used a pin to wear it and go shopping... I don't care what other people think.
In college, she did not have the financial support of her family, worked a lot of part-time jobs, and completed her studies by working hard.
After graduation, she was hired by the Central National Song and Dance Troupe and became the youngest ethnic soloist in the troupe.
In 1989, she went to Hunan with the troupe to perform, and at the same time received an interview invitation from national geographic magazine in the United States, met the American Adrian, and then married him and moved to the United States.
But the two did not come to the end and soon divorced. Rumor has it that the man was more violent, once cut off a corner of her ear, and since then he can only cover his ears with long hair. But she herself debunked rumors that one ear was deaf from fever.
After the divorce, she did not return to China, but lived independently in the United States for ten years, working as a model abroad, acting in movies, singing, traveling to Europe, and meeting Norwegian diplomats.
The two fell in love for seven years, and she also began to write books, writing more than a dozen books, which were translated into more than 20 languages. Among them, the 2003 autobiographical novel "Leaving Mother Lake" sensationalized the United States and was on the New York Times bestseller list.
During this time, she also met Oracle boss Larry, and through his introduction, she met Jobs.
Her relationship with her second boyfriend did not last long, because the man split his legs.
After that, Yang Erche Nam returned to China and became a guest judge of Mango Station, and later because he spoke too much, he cried angrily to judge Ke Yimin, and was briefly banned.
Now Yang Erche Nam, opened his own inn, shop, invited to attend some activities... Her relationship with Venus and Yang Liping is very good. Her dress style is still the same, and even the style of house decoration is still like "oriental undefeated".
Her famous saying is: "Opportunity is a hair on the bald man's head, grasp it, seize it, and if you don't catch it, it will be gone." ”
I think it might be her skin-to-skin experience... Because she herself is a person who knows how to seize opportunities. At that time, Lugu Lake was really too poor, and I really understood.
After reading her experience, I personally still admire her.
Who doesn't have a flaw and a problem? Who has been able to not go the wild way? But her courage to seize the slightest opportunity and to break through is worth learning.
Even if she lives in our time, I don't think she will accept her fate and lie flat, but will seize every opportunity that may change her destiny, strive to go up, break away from the original class, and then feed back.
Now, I think of when people scolded her and mocked her... I feel like a big part of it is because of her origins. Born badly, he still lived so freely and open-mouthed, and he committed a big taboo for many people.
Hong Huang can say anything, but the same thing, Yang Erche Nam said it, she said "Sao is not an ugly word", it will be evaluated as "private life chaos".
Many people think that even if you travel abroad for a circle and come back, you have a certain talent and influence, but you still can't change your soil in your bones.
Although those who mocked her were not necessarily of noble birth, their parents may have been ordinary wage earners, and three generations higher were all peasants.
The founding of New China made the "theory of origin" disappear, but decades later, we picked it up again and began to artificially divide who was born noble and who was lowly, and the standard of division may be particularly ridiculous, it may be that you understand luxury brands, you know whether you know wine and coffee.
In the past, people advocated hard work, struggle, and courage, and later a large number of people knelt and licked the birth.
Now many people on the Internet scold me, and they have always said things about the "village girl origin" that I never cared about, so that I thought that they were all surnamed "Ai Xin Jue Luo" (what about the surname "Ai Xin Jue Luo", putting aside the ancient change of dynasty, this must not destroy the Nine Ethnic Groups).
As for "chaos in private life", that is a special word for scolding women. Women left them after encountering domestic violence and cheating men. In this relationship, they are the victims, but when your enemies want to attack you, they never feel that the man is at fault, they just feel that "you don't have a man to want, definitely because you have a problem".
All of the above, such as the "theory of origin", such as the "male-oriented" thinking, are all things engraved in the bones of some people, and they will not change in hundreds of years.
02
As famous as Yang Erche Nam is the Yi beauty Jihu Asha.
Like Yang Erchenam, she looks quite wild and beautiful, and she lives more "dare" than many women.
Jihu Asha is a Yi girl, born in 1966 in Daliangshan, Xichang, and later admitted to the Sichuan Police Academy (which was a secondary school at the time), returned to Xichang after graduation, became a police officer, participated in the arrest of many homicides and drug trafficking cases, and made a second-class merit in the Ministry of Public Security.
In 1986, Asha was 20 years old. Some foreigners wanted to pay for the privilege of the first full rafting, Chinese felt that the first drift had to come by themselves, and some people began to recruit members of the Yangtze River Adventure Rafting Team.
This rafting is very long and dangerous, from the source of the Yangtze River - the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau, all the way to the mouth of the sea, Shanghai, in the middle of a "Wang Laojun Beach", many people have no return.
Before that, there was another first person in the long drift, who died in the long drift, but Asha still signed up, and began to drift with great courage, physical fitness, and ethnic minorities and female identities.
Moreover, she really succeeded, becoming one of the 30 main drifters.
In 1986, the "China Yangtze River Scientific Expedition Rafting Expedition" officially began to drift. The whole rafting process was very dangerous, and some of the drifting sections, she almost spit out the bile. In some drift sections, teammates were swept into the river and never took the lead again.
After more than 170 days and nights of rafting, 11 rafters were killed, and many members withdrew, but she persevered and became the only woman involved in the rafting.
She felt that she was not stronger, just more fortunate. For a long time, there was a stress response, and she did not dare to take the elevator, the subway, or live in a tall building.
After the end of the long drift, she became a hero, toured the country, and her vision was broadened, and she wanted to enter the university. So she began to prepare for the college entrance examination, and in the summer of 1987, she was admitted to the journalism department of the Central University for Nationalities (when I was a baby).
At that time, the "Zorro" Alain Delon came to Visit China, and Asha had the opportunity to contact him and talk about her experience of rafting across the Yangtze River, and Alain Delon wanted to invite her to be the heroine of an African adventure movie, which was filmed for about two years.
Asha, considering her studies, refused.
At university, she met Jean Pierre, the French Counsellor in China, and the two fell in love for two years.
On the eve of the end of Peel's chinese term, he proposed to her, and Asha went with him to France.
In France, Peel was soon sent to Lisbon to work, while Asha remained alone in Paris. A long-distance relationship and an incompatibility with life in Paris led to the eventual breakup of the two.
Asha did not return to China, but continued to stay in France, writing her experience of rafting the Yangtze River into a book and publishing it in France.
The book brought her an income of one hundred thousand francs, and many French people noticed her, and began to invite her to fashion magazines, radio, television, and even the media in the surrounding French-speaking countries of Switzerland and Belgium to report on this oriental female face.
After having money, Asha began to travel the world, going to more than a hundred countries and regions, and also made friends with the president's wife and others.
In 1991, at a gathering of painter friends, she met Kevin, an American, and the two traveled together, then fell in love and prepared to get married.
Before getting married, they went to Notre Dame Cathedral, where Asha wanted to have a wedding. Notre Dame cathedral, which can be used as a famous tourist attraction, hardly holds private weddings, but Asha still found the person in charge and became the first Oriental to hold a wedding ceremony at Notre Dame Cathedral in history.
Asha loves to make friends abroad and has been invited to attend a New Year's dinner hosted by the wife of French President Mitterrand. Sitting next to her at the time was the president of the Swiss Bank of UBS London. A few years later, she buried her head in this person and helped her husband, Kevin, get a job offer.
Later, Kevin went to work at the headquarters of the Swiss UBS Bank in London, and Jihu Asha also went to Cambridge to study English literature.
At that time, she was keenly aware that she could make money by buying a house, renovating and selling a house. By being a "house bug", she made a lot of money, not only in Cambridge, London and other places of property rights, but also in the United States, Belgium and other places also bought real estate.
Asha and Kevin had two daughters, and Kevin became president of the Uk branch of a bank in the United States after several job hoppings.
But just when she achieved a counterattack in life and lived next to Hawking, Prince Charles and others, Kevin cheated. She was so angry that she put a green hat on Kevin.
The two divorced, competed for property and custody of their daughters, and the lawsuit was fierce. The divorce lawsuit cost her custody of her two daughters and £6 million in property.
In a later book, Jihu Asha said that he had "experienced a great catastrophe in his life."
In 2004, for an entire year, she used to wash her face with tears, "I don't even know where I got so many tears." However, when the tears ran out, the toxins in my heart were also drained. ”
It was around that time that I also saw documentary reports about her on Mango Station.
She was less than forty years old at the time, looking at the camera with a smile and talking about her experiences overseas.
At that time, she returned to Daliangshan, bought two hundred acres of orchards, planted flowers, planted trees, wrote, and sang.
"I'm still a dreamy person, so I care a lot about my physical condition every day, I get up excited every morning, and I don't go a day without reading," she says. I don't believe that a person who really has an iron heart to do one thing can't do it. It's just a pity that many people are very envious of the results of others and are not willing to pay. I will actively spend each day, I will climb a higher mountain again, and the scenery on that peak should be something I have never seen before. ”
The last time I heard from her was when she posted that the underworld in Xichang was more rampant. When the evil forces were swept away, the leaders were captured. She also opened a Weibo, I went to see it last night, did not write anything special.
I think she, like Yang ErcheNam, belongs to a woman who lives a particularly "daring" life... They don't have the heavy "women can't do anything" shackles. Where there is a road, be brave to go where you go, and have the courage to pay for every choice you make.
They have long surpassed their origins and have been pushing through their own limitations. Although in the eyes of outsiders, they are not winners in life, but at least, once, they lived recklessly.
Of course, they can hype themselves successfully, and in a way, it is also the completion of the times.
In the 1990s, the "wave of going abroad" was strong, and both foreign and domestic people were eager to see such wild, vivid and unique Chinese female faces as them, so they could lead the way in a specific era, region and field.
And I can only sigh: the vast majority of people's "fresh and hot" only stay in the first half of life. By the second half of life, most people are going to fall silent. Some things, you don't dare to do when you are young, don't expect to taste and pioneer when you are old.
03
There are not many women who are beautiful, wise and courageous.
Yang Erche Nam (Picture 1) and Jihu Asha (Picture 2) can break through, and the appearance value also helps a certain amount. If you look very ordinary like us, you have to work hard to cultivate various survival skills.
Of course, what kind of achievement a person can achieve, in the end, depends on fate. Otherwise, even if you have beauty, wisdom, and courage, you may eventually be cut off by fate.
At the end of the day, we are all the fish of bad luck.
The Yang Erche Nam we talked about today, Ji hu Asha, the birth is definitely lower than mine, but the achievement is definitely much higher than me...
You have not lived in the ethnic minority areas of Yunnan, and you do not know how poor and backward these areas were in those days.
It is no exaggeration to say that they had to walk for several days from the mountains to take an exam or a theatrical performance.
Moreover, both of them are ethnic minorities, and compared to me, they have one more step to learn Chinese and Chinese culture. When I was in junior high school, the level of socio-economic development was much better than when they struggled to break through, but let me tell you this———
I have many junior high school classmates, the biggest gain in middle school is to learn to listen, learn to speak Han Chinese (Yunnan dialect and Mandarin), their academic performance is not at all PK but I am born to speak Chinese students (because they also have a process of translating Chinese into their own national language and then absorbing and understanding).
There are more than a hundred students in our grade, and I am the one who can break through to the first-tier cities to take root (the standard of rooting, set a very tacky - to become a small middle-class in first-tier cities with houses and cars).
This breakout rate is very low.
Like Yang Erche Nam and Jihu Asha, who broke out and went international, it was even more difficult, it was "one in a thousand miles" or even "one in a thousand miles".
Many people from good families jump to the position they reach, and the poor children in the mountains may have to climb a mountain to get it. In a unit of time (such as ten years), the children in the mountains really have to work harder, more diligently, more courageously, and more efficiently.
Therefore, I admire a person's head not "to see ta climb to the top", but "how much road he has traveled in a unit of time".
This is not the "life consequentialism", this is the "life efficiency theory".
Some people's "life efficiency" is much higher than that of ordinary people. Moreover, this efficiency is purely created by their own hands.
above.
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Author: Yan Lingyang, post-80s, emotional columnist, new feminist author, member of the Chinese Writers Association. He is the author of the best-selling books "Those That Make You Miserable, One Day You Will Laugh and Say It", "May You Let Go of the Past and Be Worthy of the Future", "May You Have a Journey and a Way Out", "I Am Divorced", "There Is No Loneliness in Your Jianghu - An Alternative Interpretation of Jin Yong's Martial Arts Novels" and a children's picture book "Mommy's House, Daddy's Home". With 13 years of experience in the financial industry (management), he is now the founder of a cultural information consulting company in Guangzhou and the co-founder of a cultural media company. Born in Lijiang, Yunnan, he currently lives in Guangzhou. Welcome to pay attention to the WeChat public number: Yan Lingyang Weibo: Yan Lingyang ~
PS: The picture is all source network.