I'm just a humble actress, and it's no wonder Gavin's mother doesn't like me. I'm just a humble actress who deserves to be looked down upon for the rest of my life.
But being a female actor is not my choice, it is the persecution of fate. I was born into a family of opera artists, and the men of the family sang opera for generations. My grandfather, my great uncle and my father are all martial arts singers, and the girls of our opera family do not have to sing on stage, usually do housework at home, and grow up to marry another opera family as a daughter-in-law. But I'm different from other people.
I was a bitter child, I died since I was a child, my mother did not torture me when she entered the door, my father saw that I was beaten by her, so he was fierce, sent me to Tianjin Kunling Xiao Qianyun to learn to sing Hua Dan, and later returned to Beijing with her.
I appeared on stage at the age of thirteen, I didn't sing red until I was nineteen, and my sisters who appeared on stage in the same year as me have been very popular for a few years.
I like to sing, but I don't like to be a female actor. In the play, I feel different lives, different joys and sorrows, and feel the tears of flowers and tears.
However, I don't like to be a female dramatist, I don't like to socialize, I don't like those high-ranking officials and nobles, famous businessmen, I hate their tacky and copper smell.
I don't like the drunken wine party, I don't like the lights, I just like to read quietly alone. My master was a bit cultured and taught me to recognize a few words. Later, I secretly recognized it myself, and when I met a cultured person, I asked someone to teach me to read.
When I was singing, I went to the middle school to observe, and then I went to the university to observe, and in this way I met Wei Jiawen, who is a playwright who teaches in the university.
The day we met, I stood under a begonia tree, wearing a pink silk dress with butterflies and flowers. Gavin said to me, you are like a pink begonia flower, delicate and beautiful, emitting a delicate fragrance.
He didn't think I was a singer, and at first he thought I was a schoolgirl, and we could talk about it, and he asked me which department I belonged to. Later, when he got that I was a singer, he didn't look down on me, and said that I was like a hibiscus that came out of the mud without staining.
He wrote dramas, he hadn't seen a few Peking Operas, and he didn't recognize me as a red ling bai yuchao. Later, his friend told him my identity, and said that the female dramatist could not marry and could not afford to raise, so it was better to let go as soon as possible.
I am not a person who loves the rich, if I loved the rich, I would have been the aunt and wife of the chief and the second in chief, and I have lived that kind of life, but I don't want to. I have my human dignity. It is those chiefs and deputy chiefs who have died of illness, and I am not willing to let me fill the main room, I am married to a character, not a rich person.
I had to go to the banquet of the dignitaries and nobles, but I never accompanied the wine to celebrate, I had a cold and arrogant personality, I was not good at socializing, and I never bothered those dignitaries and nobles, which is why I became popular late.
But the more cold and arrogant I am, the more those high-ranking officials and nobles feel that I am attractive and compete to praise me, and the reporter praises me in the tabloids as cold plums and proud snow, and like peony Yanguan Qunfang, "If the teaching of explanations should be poured into the country, Ren is ruthless and moving."
The last time Vice Minister Qian of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs invited me to dinner, I was not humble or profane at the banquet, bowed my head and did not speak, and Vice Minister Qian gave me a sentence of "bright as peach and plum, cold as frost."
Later, he asked someone to propose to me and let me be his third aunt, but I categorically refused. Later, he died in the main room, and asked me to marry him to fill the main room. But I don't want to, I don't want to marry a high-ranking official.
People in my company say that I am a female talent, I love to read, and I usually read at home when I am not singing, so I can quote the scriptures and export them into chapters.
Because I love to read, I met Wei Jiawen. We fell in love at first sight and agreed. Jiawen is virtuous and good-looking, he is talented and poor. I am willing to wash the lead and live with him for a rough tea and a light meal.
However, Jiawen's mother, ---- Wei, has a prejudice against female dramatists, and she thinks that we female dramatists are restless goblins and are not suitable for family rooms, and she does not allow Jiawen to marry me, saying that concubines cannot marry women who sing opera.
I know that the female dramatists do have some bad behavior, no wonder Mrs. Wei has a prejudice against this line, and I am determined to change Mrs. Wei's perception of me with my actions.
That day, I went to see Mrs. Wei in the elegant attire of a schoolgirl, but I ate behind closed doors. Old Lady Wei just didn't allow me to enter the door, and I was turned away by Old Lady Wei on the grounds that the Pengmen Household could not greet Hongling.
I looked lonely and had to go away. This marriage was delayed again and again, and I could not get my wish in the end, but my heart was firm, and I did not marry Without Wei Jiawen.
This marriage dragged on for more than four years, and the maids of the same age as me were already married, and there were several children, but I was still alone with my sister-in-law at the age of twenty-four.
In fact, there are many people who want to marry me, there are many rich and powerful people, but I don't want to marry. I only love Gavin.
Gavin is also thirty years old, so old or unmarried, he returned from France, he has seen the world, he has seen many women, but he has a special love for me. He is beautiful and Sven, but his personality is lonely and quiet, he rarely interacts with people, but he is very close to me.
I wanted to marry him, but Mrs. Wei disagreed, and Mrs. Wei said that although our family was cold, it was also a scholarly monk, and we could not marry a maid.
I once said to my cousin Bai Yulian with a look of grievance: "Although I am a singer, I also eat by my craft, and I don't sell myself by selling art, how can I be looked down upon like this?" Singing is not my choice, but it is for the sake of mixed food. If I had eaten, I would have stopped singing. Old Lady Wei may have her reasoning, there are not many virtuous women in this line, but people cannot generalize. The woman who sings the opera is really bitter, singing on the stage, and the offstage also has to socialize with the dignitaries and nobles, and I don't want to go every time I socialize, but there is no way. I don't complain about the old lady, only about my own fate, only about the fate of the singing that God arranged for me. I've always wanted to get rid of this life, but I can't get rid of it. ”
I can't get rid of it, I'm just a singing drama, a female dramatist who has been looked down upon all her life, and who wants to marry her beloved is not as good as she wants.
I have saved a lot of money in my hand, the hard money for singing, the innocent money, after marrying Gavin, I can give him a subsidy for the family, I don't tire him, don't add family burden to him, add a heavy burden of life. I don't sing anymore, I want to be a housewife at home, a good wife and mother. But Mrs. Wei did not agree to let me enter the door. She thinks I'm a female dramatist.
Gavin, I won't drag you down, you go and marry a young lady of the Bookish Mendi. I let you go so that you are no longer embarrassed. But I don't marry anyone but you. I never married, and I was a primary school teacher to pass the time.
After a few years of study, I wanted to quit the stage and become a primary school teacher, but the principal of the primary school did not hire me, saying that how can a red man like Boss Bai be a teacher? What a joke with us.
I knew in my heart that in fact, the principal looked down on me as a singer, thinking that the teaching of the singing maid would teach the children badly.
Although it has been more than ten years in the Republic of China, the singers are still regarded as the lower nine streams, the maids, but they sing on stage, do drama offstage, and then marry rich people as aunts, the surface scenery, in fact, is not happy, but when people play, a lifetime of acting for people to see.
But I am not willing, I want to be a dignified and personality woman, fortunately I met Wei Jiawen, a person who really appreciates me. Gavin appreciates my pride, and I also appreciate Wei Jiawen's character and talent.
Gavin is a poor student, but I am not disgusted, and I wish to live a poor life with him. But I'm a female dramatist, and Mrs. Wei doesn't want me.
I am a female dramatist, and I can't get rid of my identity all my life. I thought to myself, I am a humble actress.
In the spring of the previous year, I also joyfully told my cousin Bai Yulian that when marrying, one must marry a reader of good moral character, and those who have read books know that etiquette, righteousness, and honesty, and such people will treat their wives with affection, and Song Hong of the Han Dynasty refused to marry a princess for the sake of his own wife, and the poor and unworthy friends must not be forgotten, and the wives of the chaff did not go to the church.
But my cousin-in-law Grandma Bai did not think so, sister-in-law, you have a little truth, but we sing opera people's homes, and the reading people's doors are not right, how can the sons of people's scholars marry the girls of our singing people's families? Sister Chao quickly dispel this idea.
At that time, I shook my head and smiled and did not speak, because I had made up my mind to marry Wei Jiawen and was looking forward to future happiness. Who knows if the cousin really said it accurately, a word into a slur!
I'm not going to Beiping, I'm going to Baoding. My cousin Bai Yulian went with me, and after her two children died of illness, she could not have children, and she became ill again, and her husband married a concubine, and the concubine had to sit on an equal footing with her. In the past few years, she had a hard time at home and decided to run away from home.
Sister Yulian, I always thought that I had read books, accepted the new idea of "May Fourth", and could control my destiny better than the joy of your life decided by your husband. But by now, I found that I had always been nothing more than a tragedy played by the god of fate. Let's go, let's go together!
I wanted to finish the last scene to settle the package and leave, who knew that the barbarian marshal wanted to rob me home. He is a marshal surnamed Cui in Shandong, who came to Beiping to do business last year, and after watching my play, he salivated over my beauty, sent a matchmaker to say kiss, and wanted me to marry him as the fourth aunt, but I politely declined.
Who knew that this year he came to Beiping to do business and came to see my play. He looked at me on the stage and suddenly felt evil intention to snatch me away and bring me back to Shandong.
Several soldiers rushed to the stage with guns on their backs to arrest me, and I was terrified, but I was determined to fight to the death. I fixed my mind on seeing that I could not struggle and escape, so I had a plan in mind, and said with a smile: "Thanks to the great marshal who can see me, I will go with the marshal and go to Shandong to enjoy the blessings." But I always have to change my clothes, and it doesn't look like I'm going back to Shandong with the big marshal in a costume. ”
The stupid marshal thought that I was willing to go with him, and his heart was full of flowers, so he waved his hand to let the soldier let go of me, I crossed my heart, turned around and jumped resolutely from the theater floor, after the severe pain, I didn't know anything.
Gavin, I'm gone, going to another world. I love you to the death! I, Bai Yuchao, a humble female dramatist, love you with an unforgettable heart! There is no chance in this life, and I hope to have a fate in the next life