If you have watched the fifth season of "Chinese Poetry Conference", you will definitely be fanned by the 5-year-old Wang Hengyi Xiaomengwa, who is humorous, well-read and has a strong memory.
At the age of 5, he can read more than 3,000 and can memorize more than 580 ancient poems, not only to memorize, but any ancient poem he can use his own understanding to say the meaning behind the poem, known as the "Chinese Small Poetry Library",
Wang Hengyi also knows the national flags and national emblems of more than 100 countries, and has been praised by the People's Daily by name, and has been praised by many CCTV hosts such as Dong Qing and Sabine.
Seeing this, in addition to triggering the envy and jealousy of parents, it will also cause anxiety and confusion among parents.
Anxious about their children will lose at the starting line; confused to let children fight like this from an early age? What should I spell? How to spell?
In the United States, a book called "Kindergarten is the first grade in the new sense?" The study, which compared the attitudes of kindergarten teachers across the United States from 1998 to 2010, found that the percentage of teachers who wanted their children to know more words and learn to read quickly within a year rose from 30 percent to 80 percent.
My sister, a primary school Chinese teacher, also encourages parents to teach literacy, ancient poetry, and some basic mathematical knowledge in advance, with these foundations, the teacher does not have to work hard to teach, and the children do not have difficulty learning.
Children learn to add and subtract in advance, literacy, from a short-term point of view is indeed very significant, can make children in the low learning ranked, which many people think that this is the child's intelligence ahead.
The fact is that mastering a certain skill is far from being a criterion for children's intellectual development, and all children's intelligence is based on perception. For children in early childhood, their intellectual development is based on their own intentional exploration and perception, not by being taught.
As Yu Minhong said:
The child's growth process is like a tree, and a lot of fertilizer may grow rapidly, but it will develop into a pathology later. This is also the reason why many young geniuses have poor explosive power when they grow up, because the learning style of early childhood imprisons their thoughts, and it is difficult to break through in the later stage, so it is difficult to explode.
Seeing this, many parents will definitely have questions, is it not enough for children to be enlightened when they are young, and it is enough to let them play at will?
Of course not, the famous physiologist Pavlov famously said: "Babies are two days late to start education on the third day of birth." "This means that education should start early, and the sooner the better.
What to teach and how to teach it is very learned.
In this regard, teacher Hao Jingfang believes that I hope that children can develop some abilities that are good for the long term of life!
What should children fight for?
So, what exactly is the ability to benefit a child's long-term development in life? In other words, what exactly is the child's toddler enlightenment?
The answer given by teacher Hao Jingfang is difference skills.
What makes a big difference must be the skills that some people have and others can't, not the common skills that all people can master.
What are common skills are the basic skills that everyone can learn, such as walking, eating, talking, and sleeping.
These are the most basic and basic, although each child learns early and some late because of individual differences.
For example, walking, some children learn to walk in less than 12 months, and some children learn to walk at 16 months, but in the long run and overall, children who learn to walk early do not have obvious advantages, and children who do not walk early have athletic talent and athletic ability, and will become athletes in the future. There is no other difference except the difference in time.
Literacy, pinyin, arithmetic, these are common abilities that everyone can master, even if it is difficult to learn at first, but in the end there are almost no people who have gone to school and cannot read.
Parents spend a lot of effort to cultivate their children's common ability, and in a short period of time, they can open up the gap with other children, and this advantage cannot be maintained for long.
Before the age of 6 is the golden age of children's brain development, parents should spend the main energy and time on cultivating children's different skills, which is the easiest ability to open the gap with people.
How do you develop your child's differentiated skills?
Teacher Hao Jingfang believes that the most important thing to cultivate during childhood is the deep understanding and autonomy of being responsible for their own lives.
1. Depth comprehension
From the beginning of the high school, the child's learning is not as simple as before, just memorizing the knowledge points, and the ability to understand the knowledge at this moment is an important magic weapon for the child to learn to stand out.
In the development of abstract logical thinking in the advanced stage of human cognition, comprehension is the first step in the process of rational cognition, followed by judgment and reasoning ability.
What do parents do?
(1) Cultivate children's thinking habits
When children encounter problems, encourage children to think actively and independently, rather than immediately telling children the answers and solutions.
Parents can discuss the causes and consequences of things with their children, guide their children to think, and let the children come up with answers through their own logical reasoning.
(2) Ask your child more questions
Many times it is the child who asks the parent why, in fact, the parent can also ask the child why in turn.
Every question asked by parents can make the child's brain work at a high speed, which is the moment of brain growth.
For example, parents can ask their children why the shadow at noon is the shortest, and the shadow in the morning and evening is the longest. Perhaps, the child has never paid attention to these things, and at this time, parents can use this opportunity to let the child observe, which is also the process of knowledge accumulation. If the child does not know, parents can use the experimental method to use the child to say the answer, or parents can read books with their children to find information.
(3) Let the child read more
In the book "The Handbook of Reading Aloud," author Jim Trilis says:
The more you read, the better your comprehension; the better your comprehension, the more you like to read, the more you read.
Children who read a lot of information can apply a lot of information to the classroom, so they can understand more about the knowledge imparted by teachers and books, which is the role of background knowledge.
2. Autonomy
There is a type of child who is proactive in doing things, learns without parental urging, and seizes the time to write homework after school; while there is a type of child who lets parents break their hearts, rely on parents for everything, write homework grinding and chirping... In fact, this is caused by the difference in children's autonomy.
The main embodiment of a child's autonomy is his ability to make his own choices and learn to take responsibility for his own choices.
Whether in life or learning, if the child is self-driven and does not because of external pressure, it will have a longer-term good effect, so that the child can experience his sense of responsibility and pride, so that he can be responsible for himself.
(1) Parents should not arrange or replace
Parents give their children the right to choose, so that children have the right to choose and make their own decisions for their own learning, time management and other small things, rather than parents doing it single-handedly and instead.
Dr Montessori said: "Our habit of serving children is not only enslaving to them, but also dangerous, because it can easily suffocate their spontaneous activity and sense of independence, and stifle their very beneficial initiative and creativity."
(2) Take care of the child's inner driving force
The most important point for parents to cultivate a self-conscious child is to identify the fires of the inner driving force of the child when they are young, and care for and encourage them to grow.
In the growth of the child, because of his own efforts and progress to be recognized by his parents, he will have a sense of pride and pride, thus strengthening these abilities and becoming proficient.
Psychologist Li Xue said:
The negative projection of the parent creates the negative reality of the child.
Projection has energy, and if parents persist in projecting negative worries and judgments onto their children, they are creating a negative reality for their children. Even the best children will be messed up by the long-term negative hypnosis of their parents.
Professor Dweck of Stanford said: "The key to education is to convince the child that he has the power to make himself better".
Therefore, parents create a relaxed and pleasant growth environment for their children, praise children with affirmative and appreciative language, and believe in children from the bottom of their hearts, and children will have more confidence in themselves in order to better develop their autonomy.