Author: Kakashin
Parents Research Institute (ID: mama_cn) original debut
Remember the Metamorphosis, which was called the "Game of Poor Kids And Rich Kids"?
Since 2006, the show has been done for more than a decade, and more than 200 children have been "deformed", which has also triggered a ratings carnival.
Parents who have been brainwashed by the theory of "eating bitterly, being a superior person" think of ways to make them suffer when they are helpless in the face of rebellious children.
In their view, the root cause of all children's problems is because life is too comfortable and suffering is too small.
However, if those urban children suffer a little in a short period of time and live a few days of embarrassment, can these rebellious children be reborn?
And can those rural children who have seen the prosperity of the city safely return to poverty?
Did that short period of "exchange life" really make them all move towards a future full of hope and light?
01
"Suffering" for a month, can you exchange for an obedient child?
Fake
Li Naiyue, who was called "the most vicious adopted daughter" by netizens, before going to "Metamorphosis", skipped school, ran away from home, smoked everything, and even said with a smile in front of the camera:
"When he (his adoptive father) died, he had a lot of money."
This girl, who everyone saw no medicine to save, turned into a well-behaved girl after 7 days of exchanging lives with the Tibetan girl Luo Zhen.
Back at school, her academic performance has improved by leaps and bounds, and her relationship with her adoptive parents has been eased.
Just when people thought that everything would go to the good side, Li Naiyue, who appeared in front of everyone again, became more and more degenerate.
She had frequent plastic surgery and turned herself into a snake face. On Weibo, he frequently posted intimate photos with different men, and even posted a photo of self-harm because of love loss.
Later, he also announced on Weibo that he would break off relations with his adoptive parents.
The last time it appeared on the news, it was because he was caught taking drugs and completely ruined his life.
Li Naiyue's experience makes people sigh, but among these children who came out of "Metamorphometer", her life is not the most magical, and those urban children who were sent to the mountains for transformation have returned to the trajectory of life, one by one.
Han Anran, who declared in the show to "live to be old and whole to old", after the end of the exchange life, announced that he would no longer have plastic surgery, took out a chin prosthesis, and finally reconciled with his stepfather and admitted his "father" identity.
However, after becoming popular, she completely forgot her original promise, and went farther and farther on the road to plastic surgery, from the age of 16 to now, she has already undergone 35 surgeries on her face, compared with past photos, the whole person seems to have changed her head.
And her life is even more bloody: two miscarriages, unmarried pregnancy, 19-year-old mother, 22-year-old has experienced marriage and babybirth, divorce and remarriage, re-divorce, flash marriage, second child...
And Yi Huchen, known as the most successful teenager in the transformation, the pure kindness revealed in the show once made people place hopes in him.
But the follow-up is sad.
After returning to school, he missed class and fought, and eventually failed to take the middle school entrance examination. After dropping out of school, after the investment failed one after another, he borrowed money from fans in the name of entrepreneurship and did not repay it, the amount of which was as high as 300,000 yuan, becoming a "lao lai" and on the list of untrustworthy people in society.
The parents of these children think that suffering is the best way to educate.
However, did the rebellious teenagers in the city become bad simply because they had not suffered?
The child's rebellion is not because there is gold to worship, nor can it be solved in just 7 days by "changing the environment and suffering".
In the final analysis, the crux of the child's "bad" is the original family.
These "rich second generation" parents, they are either busy making money and neglect to communicate and accompany their children, or use material rewards as the only means to educate their children.
When the child has a problem, he can't wait to send the child to reform, which is no different from the parents who send their children to Yuzhang Academy and internet addiction school: that is, the escape and laziness of family education.
If parents do not change, this hardship education can only be reduced to a "hardship show".
02
I've been to this bizarre world and seen it
But it never belonged to me
If "Metamorphometer" is a failed change for the "rich second generation" of these cities, it is undoubtedly a devastating destruction for another "poor children in mountain villages" who have been exchanged.
Dong Jianshe returned to the countryside after the end of the deformation, but he could no longer accept his family's four walls of home, and began to complain that his parents could not provide good material conditions for him, so he ran away from home.
When found, the teenager angrily said to the adults:
"I hate you, I used to live well at home, I don't know what the city is like, I could have lived like that all the time, but you wanted me to know what life is like in the city." 」
Wu Zonghong, who exchanged with Yi Huchen, always remembered his father in the city and longed to return to the bustling metropolis.
When his biological father fell ill, he first thought of his father in the city, called to borrow money, but found that he had long been blocked.
After the news came out, the voices of ridicule and criticism flocked to them, and they became victims of the Internet violence.
The girl Wang Honglin was attacked by netizens for "not having a princess's life and contracting a princess disease.".
It seems that this rural girl should keep to herself, bear hardships and stand hard work, and not make any demands that exceed her "class".
But wasn't it the adults themselves who let them see these colorful flashy scenes?
The famous British writer Orwell once said: "The cruelest thing to a child is to send him to the school of a rich child." A child who realizes that poverty suffers because of vanity is unimaginable to adults. ”
They cannot settle for poverty, but they are also powerless to change the status quo in a short period of time, so they can only be wrapped in impetuosity and resentment.
Since they had seen the sun, how could they ask the children to continue to endure the darkness?
Gaining and regaining is far more uncomfortable than losing and regaining is hundreds of times worse.
An exchange, life changed the trajectory of these rural children's lives.
Poor children cannot face a huge gap of change, and children of rich families cannot change completely because they see the embarrassment of others. Even because of the temptation of fame and fortune after becoming popular, he went astray.
The biggest toxicity of "Metamorphometer" is that it constantly instills this educational concept in parents:
Reinvent your children as you wish, rather than giving them the right guidance on their way to growth.
As a result, children do not have a clear understanding of themselves, do not form correct values, and thus completely lose their way.
03
Pull the child out of the black hole
It is companionship and care
Program producer Xie Dikui once said:
"The 'morphometer' is a good medicine we dug up in remote mountainous areas, specifically for the treatment of urban only child disease that has caused many parents to lose confidence."
Treating rural children as a medicine primer for urban children has also seen the effect, that is, the lives of the two children have not changed.
But it's reassuring to see some heartwarming stories as well.
Rural girl Li Leyou's mother died very early, her father was sentenced to a heavy sentence for crime, and she lost her parents and relied on her grandparents for her life.
The poverty of his family, Li Leyou, who was ridiculed by his classmates as a prisoner's child in school, did not have a glimmer of light in his life. Participating in Metamorphosis became an opportunity to change her destiny.
When she came to the city to see the first side of "Mother" Wu Li, she blurted out a "Mom". This child, who has lost his mother, is so eager for maternal love.
During this month in the city, her mother Wu Li did her best to accompany and take care of Li Leyou, taking her to eat food and buy new clothes.
Later, they also returned to Li Leyou's hometown together to see where she grew up.
A month of companionship and warmth made the girl feel the real warmth.
After returning to his hometown, Li Leyou did not feel the frustration of loss, but strengthened his determination to go out of the mountain.
And Wu Li also kept her promise that "I will be your mother in the future", she funded all of Li Leyou's tuition fees, and would take the girls to Dalian to live together during the winter and summer vacations. Do your best to give Li Leyou companionship and care.
Today's Li Leyou, becoming confident and generous, has a clear goal for the future, the girl in the mountain village, in the love of the city mother, did not lose herself, but more firm in her heart.
Every child will experience confusion on the road to growth, if at this time can have the company of parents and relatives to enlighten, then the original rebellious child will also have the opportunity to be "reborn".
City boy Wang Chen is full of anger and profligacy before participating in "Metamorphosis", fighting, causing trouble, and being expelled from school, which gives his parents a headache.
But when he met Grandpa Shang Chengcang, everything slowly changed.
Grandpa would apologize to the staff for him when he clashed with the staff, which surprised Wang Chenzheng.
Once, because Grandpa wanted to collect potatoes for him to study, he turned over the mountain road to borrow it from the town before dawn.
Wang Chenzheng, who knew the truth, was guilty and moved, and his tears could not stop flowing.
And when he heard that Grandpa was worried that there were not enough potatoes, he grabbed the teacher's hand and said, "Give me more for this child, I want to give more, I don't have more, my legs hurt, or I will come." ”
Wang Chenzheng could no longer control his emotions and cried into tears: "No one, including my family, has ever been able to do this to me." ”
Children who have not lacked food and clothing since childhood have never felt this kind of real love.
The only way his parents could express their love for him was to give him pocket money, but they rarely accompanied him to dinner and chat.
If you make a mistake, you will always scold.
Lonely, he can only rely on his bad friends emotionally, and gradually becomes a rebellious teenager.
Under the care of his grandfather, Wang Chenzheng released his kindness, removed the hostility that should not belong to him, and rewrote his life.
After his grandfather's death, he wrote in his obituary: "My grandfather was kind and simple all his life, and accompanied me in those rebellious periods. It also taught me how to grow, thank you. ”
When he was confused, when he was wet with wind and rain, Grandpa lit a lamp for him and held up an umbrella.
Psychologist David Elkind said:
"What children need to know most is that they are important to their parents and are always surrounded by love. Children who grow up in love, they are nourished by enough love, life will be more calm and calm. ”
What children lack most in these problems is the love and companionship of their parents, rather than buying and suffering.
The child is a mirror that clearly reflects the effect of family education.
Parents do not change from their own educational methods, but try to get a well-behaved child through a program, which is undoubtedly the biggest scam.
It is not the children who should be transformed, but the parents.
-END-
Parents Research Institute (ID: mama_cn), research on new knowledge of family education for 1-6 years old, is the mother's educational notes, is the father's baby guide, is the child's growth energy station. Please contact the Parents Institute for reproduction. Author: Kakashin.
Editing in this issue: Chestnuts