Wangjing is the largest gathering place for Internet companies in Beijing, in addition to Zhongguancun in Haidian, where many Internet manufacturers such as Alibaba are gathered.
At 7:50 p.m., it was already dark, and the prince had just left work.
Behind her, the office area of the factory is brightly lit, the elevator is still working overtime, and the lights here will not go out until 9 or 10 pm.
As an Internet course producer, Prince usually works until nine o'clock, but today is different.
Tonight, she decided to say goodbye to a fruitless crush once and for all.
#1
Bye bye, anxiety
The prince is a native of Sichuan, who first worked in Chengdu, then went to Shenzhen, and came to Beijing more than half a year ago.
Chengdu is a cozy city, and you can walk a hundred steps to see skewers, barbecues or hot pot restaurants. At that time, the prince was a hot pot restaurant downstairs in the company, and often worked with colleagues until seven or eight o'clock in the evening, and went downstairs to eat a hot pot.
Shenzhen is a city that makes money, but there is also happiness, she will find a quiet tavern with colleagues in Shenzhen, while drinking and talking about how to make money, she will also talk to colleagues about work and life until the early morning, and finally sleep in the company collectively.
But in Beijing, work is work, there are no restaurants around the company downstairs, and there is also some sense of age alienation between colleagues, and they can't talk together.
This often creates a sense of loneliness.
"In Beijing, I feel very small, because there are too many, too many excellent people, and I have to work hard and become very strong to be as good as them."
On this day, it had been more than a month since the prince left his previous company, when the job had summoned her from Shenzhen to Beijing.
"[The old company] handed me an olive branch that was still in Shenzhen at the time, and they had high expectations of me, and I also had high expectations for them, so I gave up some opportunities in Shenzhen and came to Beijing, and there would be the idea of 'wanting to do a big job.'"
But because the expectation is too high, after joining the company, she felt a huge sense of gap, overtime until twelve o'clock is not counted, everything wants to do well, the whole person is very anxious and nervous.
"The last company helped me as much as it hurt." She said.
Despite the pressure that Beijing and the old company put on her, the city also had a place she loved.
The prince likes to visit bookstores, museums and parks, likes to sit on the benches by the summer palace lake to watch the sunset, and is more satisfied with his new job now.
Without too much anxiety, without too many negative emotions, without too much overtime, you can sink your heart and focus on doing something.
Nor does it remind her too much of someone.
#2
Bye bye, hawthorn tree downstairs
The prince is planning to move, and she likes to live near the company and keep the commute as short as possible.
Her current residence, just 10 minutes from the old company, was the first, and perhaps last, time she had walked into the old company campus that night to say goodbye to the trees she liked.
The trees in the old company park all have a lot of affection for the prince.
She remembered what they looked like in the spring and what they were like in the fall, and remembered that there was a hawthorn tree that she and her colleagues shook when they bore fruit.
The prince's colleagues did not want her to leave, and once waited in the park for her to leave work until 1:30 a.m., hoping that she would withdraw her application.
So leaving here, for her, was a difficult choice.
"When a person came to Beijing with a suitcase, my colleagues here were the first people I met in Beijing, which is an experience in my life that is difficult to erase."
It was also here that she met a boy, a male colleague sitting next to her.
He had a good temper, and when the prince first came to the company and knew no one, he helped her a lot, and all the questions she asked would be patiently answered.
The prince is more aggressive in his work and speaks more directly, while he is the opposite, calm and careful, and will take care of everyone's emotions.
"I feel like he's complementary to me, and his personality is a part of what I want to be."
It was already more than nine o'clock in the evening, and the prince asked his colleagues and learned that he was still working overtime at the company.
On the way to the office building, the prince bid farewell to the street trees on both sides of the park.
A few months ago, in the autumn, the canopy was still golden, and the entire road was covered with thick fallen leaves. At one or two o'clock in the evening, just after work, the prince and he stepped on a golden field, along a long street, from one end to the other, and then back.
It's just that such memories will not come back, some time ago, she confessed to him through WeChat, but was politely rejected.
"He thinks I'm strong. But as a girl drifting north, facing an impossible project at that time, desperately trying to prove myself... I don't think he understands me. ”
So tonight, she wanted to end the relationship face to face.
For this matter, the prince also wanted to make a mind map, trying to rehearse what was about to happen from a rational point of view.
"If he didn't answer my call, forget it, if he answered my call, what would I say... And then I don't know. ”
Until she walked under the office building, she was still hesitating, afraid.
Will they fall back into the state of liking him because of the meeting? Could it be that he gave me some ambiguous hope again?
As she waited, she looked at the trees.
"I'll never come back to this place."
#3
Bye-bye, you used to like you
"I said I might be moving, and he said are you looking for a move?" Then he said do you have anything else you want to say, and I said no. ”
At the moment of turning, the prince wanted to cry, but he held back.
What she was worried about didn't happen, nothing happened, he was still him, himself or himself, nothing had changed.
But people never know who will never see you again after inadvertently saying goodbye.
The prince did not regret seeing this meeting, but regretted not saying that to him.
"If this were the last time we'd see each other, I should have told him I liked you, but what I said was: I'm moving."
In fact, just last week, the prince learned a piece of news that made her particularly sad.
She thought she liked a mysterious, taciturn boy, and many times she was waiting for him to reply, but the answers that came were usually more disappointing, and this time too.
"I misunderstood that he liked me, but I wasn't special to him, but like everyone else. It turns out that there are really no taciturn boys in this world, only boys who are not interested in you. ”
The prince's colleague told her that she liked the boy's attentiveness, patience, and good temper towards her, but he was the same to everyone. And he was chasing a girl before, but he was rejected.
"I wonder if I've become someone else's second choice, and I don't want to be someone else's second choice."
A person who would visit the Summer Palace with her in the summer and press the road with her in the autumn, a person who left so many good memories with her, was actually just her own sentimentality.
This is where the prince is most sad.
Even so, she still refuses to admit to meeting a scumbag.
"I've loved him and would rather believe he's an amorous person than believe he's a sea king."
She had so many reasons to like him, so many memories of spending time with him, and even after saying goodbye, she still liked him.
The prince's last relationship also took a long time to come out.
It was two years ago, shortly after graduation, when her boyfriend came to Beijing to study, and she stayed in Sichuan, and there was too much confusion about life, about career confusion.
Long-distance relationship, lack of communication, coupled with his poor state, so the prince gave up this "feeling that there is no good future" relationship.
Avoidance is a means of dealing with contradictions that the prince learned from his original family, and when her parents quarreled when she was a child, she would hide in a friend's house and not go back.
But she also has her own resolute side: "If I like someone, then I will definitely tell him." ”
Even if you get, it's not a beautiful answer.
On the way home, she suddenly remembered that this road had also been walked with him, and it seemed that moving was really a very correct decision.
"Maybe one day after calming down, I will feel that I have learned this relationship again." At least I know better what kind of person I don't want in the future. ”
A friend has asked the prince what kind of likes you want, why not look at the people who like you?
The prince said that what I wanted to like was to be on my side at the critical moment. And he was very understanding of me and has always been very understanding and supportive of me.
This was the second time this night that the prince had emphasized the importance of understanding to her.
As a 25-year-old girl from North Drift, she wants to buy a house independently, wants to become an IP in the field, wants to have her own studio, and wants to return to Sichuan to live a comfortable life after accumulating enough life experience in first-tier cities.
"Maybe I put too many factors in him, like Beijing..."
At 11 p.m., the prince returned home and ended this slightly regrettable farewell journey.
Although some feelings, not after saying goodbye, can "snap" and disappear.
Although some goodbyes are not an immediate rest.
But importantly, the goodbye is a sense of self-giving ceremony: starting today, you can start to slowly let go.
"I feel like I'm going to start a new life," said the prince with a smile, "I'm moving out of Haidian, I'm going to be relieved." ”
Have you ever experienced a crush that didn't come to fruition?
Is it the wrong personality, or the timing is not right?
"Strong" girls, really do not deserve to have love?
This article is written by the creative team
Author | Chong
Planning | See
Edit | Chong
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