If you want to eat a man, it is not difficult to say difficult words, it is not simple to say simple words, the key is whether the way to deal with feelings is reasonable or not, and the efficiency is not high.
Some women, in dealing with the matter of feelings, have fallen into a strange circle, they stubbornly believe that as long as they are good enough for men, they can eat men.
Or, as long as you control the man yourself and tie the man firmly to your side, you can also eat a man.
As everyone knows, when they are good enough to men, they will always be in turmoil because they can't get it, and those who are favored have no fear, and men will not take women seriously because they are loved;
When they control men, men will think that the relationship is not interesting because they do not feel comfortable, because they feel too depressed, and want to escape.
Therefore, smart women know the drawbacks of these two ways, so they use less expensive but effective language more skillfully when dealing with feelings.
In a relationship between the sexes, a man who wants to eat a smart woman will talk more about these three topics.
When chatting, don't be distracted, try to focus on the other party
When we are chatting with a person, if we do not have a chance to express our desires, then we will feel that the chat process with this person is unpleasant, then next time we will not think about chatting with each other again.
The same is true in gender relations.
We need to understand that if we want to use language to eat a man, then we should give more home to men in the process of chatting, rather than focusing on ourselves and making a fuss.
Carnegie said, "True wisdom is to know how to restrain one's own light and avoid stabbing others and making enemies." It's not about telling others how smart you are, but about inadvertently blooming wisdom and confidence, being able to control yourself and control your life. ”
Such a person knows that in an occasion, if you are always self-centered, you will bring a bad sense of experience to others.
Therefore, when they chat with men, they will not show their sharp edges, they will shrink themselves, enlarge each other, and make the whole chat process become the home of the other party.
They are unhurried and low-key and elegant, and when men chat with such women, they will feel the pleasure and comfort of spitting out.
The topic is fine rather than much, and sometimes it is better to talk quietly and introvertedly
When women drive, men are not at ease, and have been reminding the co-pilot - "sharp turn, remember to hit the turn signal";
"There's someone in front of you, why don't you step on the brakes";
"Traffic lights, can you look at the dots?"
The man chattered all the way, and finally, the woman couldn't bear it anymore and directly shouted: "Don't bother, drive a car and keep saying something."
Are we familiar with such a scene?
Although the original intention of the other party is good, but listening to it more, it is annoying.
This is the overrun effect in psychology, which refers to the fact that a thing appears too many times, or acts for too long, then people's hearts will produce impatient or tired emotions.
When we are chatting with men, if we are always looking for a topic, no matter what the topic is, as long as it can be thought of, we will talk to each other.
At this time, our language is beyond the limit, and men will feel bored when they feel noise.
There is a sentence in "Flowers Not Flowers and Fogs And Non-Fog": "You seem to be a flower but not a flower, and I am like a fog but not a fog." You seem to exist and not exist, and I seem to have you and not have you. ”
This tells us that when chatting, don't talk too much, more will appear noisy, but it is better to be quiet, say some interesting topics, but can play a different effect.
The key to the topic is to find the right entry point, and the right medicine can be done with half the effort
Imagine a scenario where we're interested in sports, but the other person is talking about nail art while chatting with us.
We weren't interested in nail art at all, but we were embarrassed to sweep the other person's interest.
So I could only follow the bad emotions in patience and secretly swear that I would not talk to such a person again next time.
When we chat with others, we must be more inclined to like, familiar or interesting topics.
Therefore, when we chat with men, we may wish to try to talk more about topics that the other party is interested in, of course, this requires us to find clues in advance through the circle of friends and the details of daily life.
Leo Tolstoy said in "On Art": "People use language to convey ideas to each other, and people use art to convey feelings to each other." ”
The charm of language cannot be underestimated, a word can bring each other's feelings closer, and a word can heat up each other's feelings.
Women with high emotional intelligence will always know how to use language to build bridges between each other, and then eat a man in the silent moisturizing.