Dressed in beautiful clothes, it is her job to shuttle through exquisite restaurants and attend interesting events; it is her job to write columns for magazines and websites, to write books for publishers, to consult for gourmet companies; to play the piano and sing with children, to give lectures at children's schools, and to party with children's classmates. Looks great, right?
But when the time goes back to more than ten years ago, she is just a full-time wife who is "trapped" in the marriage "exquisite", except for Mrs. so-and-so, nothing else.
For more than ten years, seemingly gorgeous turns, hiding pain, but what is more emotional is the light emitted by women's flexibility, wisdom, perseverance and determination.
Foam at work
Without that marriage, Momo probably would never have been what she is now.
In your twenties, marry someone you like. After the birth of her daughter, she "naturally" quit her original job, gave up everything, and became a full-time wife, focusing on taking care of the family.
He lives for the family all day, surrounds the children, surrounds the husband, but does not have himself. Gradually, the girl who was originally in the confident profession in the foreign trade industry had no light, no self-confidence, lost herself in the trivial life, and was out of touch with society.
Confused, she began to think, in addition to the role of wife and mother, how can her value be reflected?
Who are you?
"Who am I?"
Start by picking up your hobbies. Therefore, after the child falls asleep, Momo makes desserts, makes traditional recipe improvements, and heals himself and finds himself through the process of immersion in them and the beautiful and delicious "works".
Slowly, after the "feel" returned, she began to shoot her own food works, with text posted on the Internet. At first, simple sharing, after gaining the recognition of more and more netizens, became a spiritual support and a source of self-confidence.
Foam shooting records food
However, when her daughter was 3 years old, the marriage changed, and Momo became a single mother. She was exactly 30 years old that year.
Maybe it's God's arrangement, telling yourself that it's time to really let go and fight!
In order to become a better self, in order to become a more proud mother in the eyes of her daughter, in order to create a better home for her, Momo began to cut through the thorns in the field of "gourmet self-media".
From food content writers, to food columnists, food designers, food consultants, and now professional food self-media people, along the way, a lot of hard work, but also grow rapidly.
"The best part of knifefish is the nose, the tenderest part of the meat."
"There's no hurry when you eat, you slowly pick a thorn, and when you get to your mouth, its temperature drops."
"The way to eat Sichuan-Chongqing hot pot is to use shabu for thin food, blanch for slightly thick food, and cook for large pieces of food."
……
Momo loves knife fish
Every time she went to a new place, Momo would look around and taste the food, and once tried 28 times a day, and had to rely on digestion tablets and black coffee to alleviate it. Self-ridicule said that "fortunately, my parents gave good genes, and I have a good figure that is not fat." However, the long-term irregularity of doing self-media and high-intensity work have already made her a lot of occupational diseases at a young age.
In order to learn more about the customs and customs behind the local cuisine and cuisine, she not only has to "eat more", but also run more. At its most intense, "I can only see my daughter once a month," taking midnight flights, and even spending the night at the airport is more normal. Often, when I came home in the middle of the night, I had to write manuscripts and make videos overnight.
It's busy
Because she knows that she has to be strong only on her own.
Slowly, magazines invited her to write columns; some brands invited her to talk about new dishes in the store; some media invited her to participate in the recording of the show; some restaurants invited her to be consultants...
After her daughter went to kindergarten, Momo's food studio was established, and the daily work was busier but more systematic, and "trapeze artist", "independent woman", "strong woman", "superwoman" became her label.
But what went so smoothly.
The first is herself, a woman working alone in Shanghai, and it is a self-media without a unit, which is not easy to imagine.
Ah Meng patted the foam
The hand was scratched at some point, leaving a deep opening, which was not discovered until a few days later when taking a bath; moving a very heavy thing sprained the waist, no one took care of it, and had to tie a pillow around the waist and continue to write on the sofa; last New Year's Day, the water pipe in the corridor burst, and the home was as bad as a big water...
"There will be times of self-pity, but over the years, it has become less and less." Because I know, those are useless. ”
In the face of all the hardships and frustrations, Momo will not stay too long, "Finding a way to solve the problem is the most important." ”
The daughter is Momo's biggest obstacle.
After the divorce, the daughter followed her. But she can't bear to let her young children suffer from the beginning of their careers with themselves, and in order not to leave themselves with excuses for evasion and cowardice, her daughter Ah Meng has been living with her grandmother in her hometown in Hefei.
The child is very sensible, delicate, sensitive and understanding.
When he is still young, he will give his mother a dish and leave good food; he will cover a blanket for his mother who is accidentally asleep; and he will send a text message to his mother who is on a mission to remind him of safety.
"If I share a little for my mother, she can work a little less hard." When such words come out of the mouth of a little girl, it is always pitying, let alone the mother.
Momo, who attended the event (photo copyright from Phoenix Network)
Two years ago, Momo brought her daughter to Shanghai, ending the life of mother and daughter gathering less and leaving more. "Can't wait any longer, the child needs me."
I realized this because my daughter was bullied at school.
At first, it was grandma who "complained" on the phone, saying that the granddaughter, who had always been well-behaved, was becoming more and more disobedient and always working against adults. In each subsequent video call, Ah Meng, who would have been with the tired and crooked, always began to cry before saying a few words, asking her why but refusing to say. This made Momo a little panicked, worried, anxious, helpless, even upset, and couldn't sleep all night.
Once back in her hometown, accompanied by her daughter to a class reunion, a child told her that some people in the school always said bad things about Ah Meng, saying that "mom and dad don't want her", and also joined other classmates to isolate her. Momo finally understood that this was the reason for the change in her daughter's temperament.
She also realized that her daughter needed her. He could no longer be separated from his daughter.
Accompany Ah Meng to make handmade foam
Raising a daughter alone and juggling a job in a big city is not easier than running alone in the past. But for Momo, who was already full of confidence and independence at this time, it was like a new round of challenges for herself.
Facing the odds is it.
No chicken baby, it is the "rules" that Momo set for herself after taking her daughter to Shanghai. "I'm not going to give her what I think is an important training course unless she brings it up herself to learn."
Some people around her say that she is irresponsible, but in her view, allowing children to harvest happiness and exercise emotional intelligence by doing what they like to do in the process of growing up is really suitable for the future development of this society. "I think as long as you learn the basics well, the foundation is solid, and then she will develop in the direction she likes." That's it.
So she encouraged her daughter to try everything to discover her interests. For example, playing guitar, such as drawing, children like, they go to the Internet to find tutorials, they go to know friends in this field to compete. And Momo herself, as far as possible, all the work and business trips, arranged from Monday to Friday, so that when the daughter lives in school and is busy with her studies, she will focus on her career; on weekends, her daughter will go home and accompany her children wholeheartedly.
Momo and Ah Meng, who make a delicacy together
Being a role model, sister, and friend for her daughter is What Momo requires of herself as a "mother".
Once my daughter was playing guitar with her friends in the room, and in the living room, Momo heard the music in the room and sang along. The daughter was surprised that her mother could sing her own song, and even more surprised that she could discuss with herself how to sing this song better.
The daughter who focuses on painting and playing the piano
And the relationship with her daughter, Momo is proud. Watching her daughter become cheerful, confident and sunny after coming to Shanghai, Momo is satisfied.
Before moving to Shanghai, the foam in her daughter's eyes was "Iron Woman", because her mother could do anything, and everything could be done.
But how can this be true?
"In the past, I would deliberately cover up and hide the difficulties and hardships of life and entrepreneurship, because I was afraid that my children would worry and that my children would be affected. But not now, I want to be a role model for my child's growth and future development, a role model who knows how to face difficulties and how to be optimistic and positive. ”
Now, the daughter has an "unconditional trust and acceptance" for Momo. And she herself enjoys being an "imperfect mother with emotions and tears", and she is no longer afraid to show her daughter a vulnerable side. Because she believes in herself and she believes in her daughter.
The road ahead is still full of thorns. The self-media industry is fiercely competitive and rapidly changing; the increasing pressure of her daughter's studies; the increase in her own age, the challenge from energy...
Foam when participating in the event
But compared with the immaturity when he first dabbled in the food self-media, the dazed overwhelm when he was just divorced and living independently, and the self-doubt when he first came to Shanghai to work hard, At this time, Momo already clearly knew what to do and where to go.
Today, because of the epidemic in Shanghai, she has to temporarily slow down the pace of work, share with everyone online the food and life during the home isolation period, but also unexpectedly have a rare "relaxation" after years of intense work.
Weibo during the pandemic
Darren STAR, the producer of Sex and the City, once described the daydreams of urban women this way: no matter how busy you are, you can eat brunch with your girlfriend; if you want, you can have your dream job and wardrobe in the dream city.
Obviously, now that Di Mo has realized this "daydream", but for an independent woman like her, how can she want it to be just a dream?
In Shanghai to realize their dreams
Those past that are pitiful, seal the past. And those who have worked hard, whether they are unbearable or glamorous, cannot be taken away.
Or run to the future.
"It is better to rely on anyone than on yourself, and do not pin your expectations on a certain person or something." Only when you do a good job can you have enough confidence and strong spiritual strength to face anything that may happen, good or bad. ”
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Text, Editor / Lin Xiaochu
Typography, design / drinking mutton soup
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