My father left me with the deepest impression
Author: Yan Shulin
It has been 43 years since my father passed away in 1979, but the passage of time has not diluted the impression he left on me: a burly figure, a serious face, a white coat in summer, and a long black coat in winter. All kinds of agricultural tools are used handily, and the most temperamental cattle obey under his whip. When my father was in his 50s, he wore clogs after the rain, did not take off his long jacket, did not rest, and carried a load of rice weighing more than 100 kilograms to Huarong County, which was eleven or twelve miles away from home. After the year of Hua Jia, he carried more than fifty kilograms of rice bought from the countryside and walked more than 60 miles from Huarong to the Yixinbao School where I worked, and gave me supplementary rations...
My father left me with too many impressions, but among the many impressions, the most memorable one is the strict supervision of my studies.
From elementary school to junior high school, I spent more time at home. In the sixth year of elementary school, except for the third grade, which is a group residence, the rest of the time is a day school, and every morning, evening, Saturday afternoon and Sunday are at home. Junior high school lives on campus for three years, and saturday afternoons and Sundays are generally at home, as well as all winter and summer vacations. Most of this time at home, except for part of the work of the production team, group work and doing some housework such as collecting firewood and planting vegetables, most of the time is spent on studying.
Father's portrait (pictured)
The father was the second of the three brothers, the eldest and the third had studied private school for several years, while the father had not entered the school and could not read a word. Maybe he didn't read books to suffer more than the two brothers, maybe he didn't have a lot of inconvenience to himself without culture, or maybe he didn't read books, and his desire to mix up as a person was disappointed... Whatever the reason, he had reason to let his children read more books and not repeat his old ways. Confined to family circumstances, my brother and sister lost the opportunity to go to school. With the slight improvement of family conditions, my father put all his hopes of studying on me, and naturally the supervision of my studies was also very strict.
My father had no culture and did not understand the form and content of learning such as "doing homework", "reviewing", and "preparing". In his view, learning is reading or writing, as long as you are reading and writing, he agrees that you are learning.
My father's urging of my studies was not preaching or scolding, but a hint to me with his strongly differentiated facial expression. Fathers are already very serious, and even the usual general expression makes our children a little afraid. When he is happy, the smile on his comfortable face will at best not make you feel particularly much joy. But once he is angry, the majesty is almost immeasurable and unbearable.
Every time my father came back from outside, as long as he saw me reading or writing, he would be very happy, smile and look at me for a short while, and then hand over a sentence: "Take a break when you have suffered a loss." This may be my father's affirmation and praise for my learning.
It is the nature of children to love to play, and when my father is not at home, I will also play, but I must be careful of my father's sudden appearance when playing.
My father had a habit of coughing twenty or thirty steps away from the door and entering the door, as if he had to announce to the family every time, "I'm gone" or "I'm back." Naturally, my father's coughing became a "safety signal" when I played. However, over time, there will also be times when the ship will be "overturned" due to negligence.
I remember once, when I was making a water gun toy out of bamboo tubes, maybe I was too attentive to realize that it was nearly noon, or maybe my father came back that day without coughing, or I didn't hear the cough. When my father suddenly appeared at the door, I suddenly panicked, not knowing what to do. Father's calm face suddenly stretched long, instantly turned from red to blue, the tendons on his forehead bulged one by one, and his eyes stared at me fiercely without blinking, and the gaze simply burned me with pain. The thick black eyebrows and the beard on my chin also cocked at the same time, and I suddenly felt panic and slowly lowered my head. I glanced at my father with the afterglow of my eyes upwards, and he stood where he was, not moving at all, the expression on his face did not change, and the air in the room solidified. After a while, my father said to me loudly: "If you don't study, you will come to the team to work in the afternoon." I knew that this was an angry word from my father, and it was also a warning to me, and I did not say a word. The mother also seemed to be frightened by her father's sudden appearance, and said nothing at the side. It was lunch that afternoon, the house was quiet, and my father's face remained gloomy, and it wasn't until I took out my books and homework books in front of him and started studying that his tense face relaxed slightly.
Of course, this is not the only thing that has been taught by my father for stealing, but it is not a lot, because I don't want to make my father angry because of it, and I can also be regarded as a long-remembered person.
I thank my father, thank him for his strict supervision of my studies, let me gradually develop the habit of conscious learning, although my IQ is mediocre, but my academic performance has not been left behind, after graduating from junior high school successfully admitted to the normal school.
It has been so many years since my father passed away, and he was happy and smiling when he saw me studying; the look of anger and anger when he met me playing has always been deeply imprinted in my mind and appeared in front of me from time to time. Although I complained at the time, I finally understood that my father's love for me was fundamental. If it weren't for that, my later life and life might have been very different.
One by one, before the Qingming Festival in 2022, I would like to take this article as my eternal remembrance of my father.
About the Author:
Yan Shulin, a retired teacher in Yueyang Junshan District, Hunan Province, has published essays and poems in paper journals such as "Selected Essays", "Chinese Countryside", "Yueyang Evening News", "Shandong Poetry", "Yangtze River Poetry" and literary platforms such as "Writers of the People", "Xiaoxiang Original Home", "China Poetry Network", "Northern Poetry", "Poet Geography Weekly" and other literary platforms; in 2020, he won the first prize for essay essays in the fourth quarter of "China Countryside" magazine; the poem "South Lake" with the same title "Chinese and Foreign Poets" was selected as a large-scale hardcover book in the "South Lake - Poetry Selection for celebrating the Centenary of the Founding of the Party".
Image: Author