Children entering the last semester of elementary school are like bamboo shoots in the spring, and they can jump up vigorously. However, children have also recently reflected that although they are happy to grow fast, they also find that their emotions are a little uncontrolled, indicating that they are unhappy.
For example, recently the new seat, the same table in the class like to talk, he can't help but be angry, want to raise his fist to fight, if it is not the teacher is there, he feels that he will definitely beat like Lu Tizhi. For example, during the exam, the classmate who led the table whistled quietly, and he was extremely irritable; for example, a girl wanted to copy his homework, rushed to his side and snorted, he couldn't help but burst out a roll, when he found the girl standing on the side copying his homework, he couldn't help but report to the teacher...
Hearing these nagging from the children, my first reaction was that I was very happy, quite happy. The reason is very simple, first of all, he is willing to speak out, indicating that his communication with me after entering puberty is as usual, there is no obstacle; secondly, as for emotional impulses, adults have, as long as they can recognize it, it is not terrible; again, puberty is a stage of rapid brain development, emotions are also developing, and these representations of children show that his brain development is normal.
However, the children are still confused, feeling that their emotions are easy to explode, and even if they are aware of the problem, they cannot hold back.
I told him: First of all, your emotional reaction at this stage is normal, just like you grow fast, emotions are easy to explode at this stage. Secondly, when emotions come, there is a way to deal with them, but it is not easy and needs to be adjusted slowly.
Like the playful analogy: everyone actually has 3 brains, the bottom layer is the crocodile brain, the middle is the monkey brain, and the outer layer is the human brain. Among them, the monkey brain is responsible for emotions.
Picture from Li Xiaolai's "Fixed Cast Changes Fate"
Emotions are important, and happiness, sadness, anger, fear, including empathy, have evolved throughout the long history of human beings and constitute important characteristics of human beings. But no matter what kind of emotions, it is certainly not okay to let it run rampant. For example, it is good to be happy and happy, but if you overdo it, you will get carried away and even run into a catastrophe.
Therefore, the monkey brain needs to be tuned. As another, better analogy puts it: Man is like a chariot, with two horses driven by a coachman, a black horse and a white horse.
The dark horse can handle people's most primitive impulses, such as the first time to see the snake child will wow and cry; the white horse can deal with a variety of emotions, such as when sad, will find someone to talk to, or find a quiet place to cry silently; and the coachman can adjust the white horse and the black horse according to different situations.
The child immediately remembered these contents, which were not unfamiliar, because I had told him about it before and even read it together. But the problem is, the emotions come at once, and they can't be controlled, what should I do?
Easy to do, close your eyes and take two deep breaths, and then think about what to do. Children say, for example, the same table likes to talk in class, just don't know what to do? Well, that's a real problem, but you can see if you can do it this way: find a piece of paper and make a straight line. Once you speak at the same table, you draw a stroke, see how much he has spoken at the end of a class, and then try to solve it.
Children think this method is good, you can try.
To be honest, I'm not sure the method of delivering it to him will work. I know that dealing with emotions is a lifelong practice, and children have taken the first step in the long march.
In my own case, I have long wished to be peaceful, tolerant, rational, but it is obvious that it is difficult, very difficult. Because this is far from just a cognitive problem, but a need for correct cognition, but also need to be repeated practice, but also need to continue to struggle after the sense of abundance, and then it is possible to be able to calmly and calmly in front of everything. So, it's a long practice.
In short, the children are growing tall, the little monkeys who live in the brain are also growing up, although the little monkeys are very naughty, but after all, the coachman is also continuing to learn, and the ability to adjust will always slowly increase.