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The other day I saw an interesting topic: what is the moment when a girl wants to break up. Then countless girls directly on the picture, simple and rude:
All in all: because the boyfriend won't answer. Is it the girlfriend who doesn't want it anymore, or is it happier to play alone?
In fact, when encountering the above situations, the first thing you have to do is to understand the emotions of the other party's speech, and know whether the other party is happy and excited, or sad and lonely. In addition, you need to invest in emotions when you talk back. If the other party is happy and you respond very plainly; or if the other party is obviously sad, but you are happy with yourself, this is an act of looking for death.
In fact, the situation of not answering the phone does not only exist in men and women in love, everyone will encounter similar situations. If the other party is someone you don't care about at all, then feel free to respond as you want.
However, the reality is often that you have a lot of party fathers, customers, leaders, etc. that you must reply to well, and you can't be afraid of relatives, friends, etc., that does not show that you are very blunt, it will only show that you have no emotional intelligence, and even end up becoming a lonely person.
There is a story in the movie "When Happiness Comes Knocking", the protagonist reaches middle age, the investment fails, and he is so poor that his wife has run away. In the end, I won an interview opportunity for a large company, and I saw that I was going to change my fate. Unfortunately, the night before the interview, he was detained at the police station. The next day, I rushed to the interview in dirty clothes. Several interviewers looked at his scruffy posture and asked him:
Why would I hire someone who doesn't even wear a shirt?
He thought for a moment and said, "Then I guess his pants should be very elaborate." ”
This sentence caused the interviewer to laugh and praise his wit and decency, which made him get the job.
Therefore, being able to answer the phone can make you turn decay into magic, and you can get more opportunities and connections than others. As soon as they opened their mouths, they won – this is the magic charm of the call!
Just say that you don't practice the fake handle, now give everyone some good answering skills.
Parrot back to the way
01
The so-called "parrot reply method" is to return to him what the other party said as it is.
"Where have you been this holiday?"
"I'm going to Pingyao."
"Pingyao?"
"Well, I like the streets with history, and I'm also going to pingyao ancient city for the first time."
"Oh, you're going to Pingyao for the first time?"
By repeating what the other party has said, expressing that you really understand what the other party is saying makes the other party feel at ease, and the other party will think that what he said is listened to. When people gradually let go of their defenses, they will talk to each other endlessly! The moderate use of the "parrot back method" in the conversation can give people a great sense of peace of mind.
Add a word
02
"Add a sentence", that is, when answering a question, don't just say "yes" or "no", but add a sentence. If everything makes others find a topic, others will be tired and will feel bored talking to you. And if you add a sentence after the reply, then the other party only needs to answer the sentence you added, which will not lead to the dilemma of having nothing to say. (If the other party can't even pick up the topic you threw, then change it to a question)
"Did you come by bike today?"
"Yeah, came by bike. Recently, the amount of exercise is not enough, and I have gained a lot of weight! (You can take up the topic of weight loss)
or:
"Yeah, came by bike. Because the weather is so good these days, there is no smog yet. (Can pick up weather topics)
"Yeah, came by bike. Because the traffic jam has been very bad recently" (you can pick up the topic of traffic jam)
"Add a sentence" is for the sake of the other party, so that the other party has something to say, others will think that you "talk back very well, chat with you is very easy."
Homeopathic asked
03
Asking a question naturally is to choose a point in the topic and ask naturally. There is one or more points in each sentence that can continue to be talked about, and we only need to find one of them, and then use it as a topic to continue to talk about.
"Where is your hometown?"
"My hometown is in Heze, Shandong."
"Heze, Shandong, is there anything famous there?"
"We are the home of martial arts, and peonies are particularly famous."
"Ah, is it? I love peonies and have been to Luoyang to see the peony blossoms! Is there any difference between Heze's and Luoyang's? ”
Follow the other person's topic and try to throw the question back to the other party without appearing deliberate and jerky, and the other party will also feel valued because you are interested, thus feeling good about you.
Caution numbers
04
The numbers are all out of context, it hides the emotions of the speaker, and clues to the answer can be found in the numbers they reveal.
"I lost 10 pounds in a month."
"Lost 10 pounds! What's wrong with you, what's going on lately? ”
"It's awesome! How can you lose 10 pounds in a month? ”
"You're very happy to lose 10 pounds, right?"
Speakers will "special mention of the number" is mostly meaningful, they expect the listener to have "surprise", "praise", "comfort", "angry" and other reactions, through the number can understand each other's "sincerity" or "mood", you can closer to each other's hearts.
Find similarities
05
In the chat, pay attention to the similarities between the other party's words and your own. People develop a liking for "people who are similar to themselves," which psychology calls "law of similarity." If you want the other party to have a sense of closeness to yourself, you can find the "similarities" between them through chat.
"I just finished a concert the other day."
"Oh? So what music do you like to listen to? ”
"I like to listen to Jay Chou's songs."
"Ah, I'm too. Especially in "Qilixiang", I also went to eat saury. ”
"Ah, such a coincidence, I also like this song, and his 'Thousand Miles Away' is not bad.
Having the same hobbies as the other party, he will have the emotion of "you know me", which will have a sense of identification with you. And then, the more he found common topics with each other, the greater the intimacy.
Here are a few topics that are prone to "common ground":
Place of birth, place of residence
Loved the food to eat
Hobbies
Books that I've read
Places to go
"Closed + open" type of inquiry
06
"Do you like dessert?" This is a "closed question".
"What kind of dessert do you like?" This is the "open-ended question".
Closed-ended questions can be used to confirm things, while open-ended questions do not set limits on the content of the answer, and the other party is free to answer the phone. Just combine these two questions to expand the topic according to your own meaning.
"It's New Year's Day, and I'm going to relax."
"So do you like to travel?"
"Of course I like it."
"Where do you want to travel?"
First use "closed questions" to detect whether the other party is interested, and then use "open questions" to deepen the conversation. If you keep asking "closed questions", the other party will have to keep replying to "yes" or "no", and others will have a sense of oppression that they are being interrogated. Adopting the "closed and open" step makes it easy to continue to talk to people. If the other party says "I don't like to travel" at the initial stage of inquiry, it doesn't matter, and a different topic can resolve the dilemma of having nothing to say, such as "Do you like to watch a play?"
The above content is excerpted from "Good Answering", [Japanese] Takuro Yamaguchi/author, produced by Beijing Zitu Books.
Chatting is a thing full of "love". "Listening to the other person" is an "act of giving love" that "provides a garden for talking." When the two talk happily, it means that the two sides are in a state of "mutual love", and each other's "love balling game" is going very smoothly. So, if you want to make the conversation more interesting and the topic more extensive, you have to show the love in your heart.