CCTV hit drama "The World of Man" finally ushered in the finale.
From the perspective of a family, this drama tells the story of China's half-century changes, social changes, political turmoil, family ethics and interpersonal relationships.
The Zhou family in the play, the eldest son Zhou Bingyi and the second daughter Zhou Rong, from childhood to adulthood are all academic bullies, the two were admitted to Peking University after the reform, one has a successful career, a successful career to become a provincial governor, a successful academic, all the way to become a university professor, is the Zhou family, is the pride of the light character film. The third son, Zhou Bingkun, did not have a bright mind from reading since he was a child, his grades were far inferior to those of his brother and sister, coupled with his thick and honest personality, he was considered by his neighbors to be the "most unproductive old knot" of the Zhou family.
Is there no ordinary person whose life is doomed to failure and unhappiness?
A few days ago, a friend came to the company to talk to me about things, all of them are mothers, and it is inevitable to talk about the problems of children.
Her child is more than 5 years old this year, and told me that she is a Haidian mother, and now she thinks about how to make her child's grades and performance go to a famous school every day, saying that she has to go to XX school the last time.
Her theory is:
If you can't go to XX Primary School, you can't go to XX Middle School;
If you can't get into XX Middle School, you can't get into XX University;
If you can't get into XX University, you can't become an elite.
I asked: Why make children elite?
She seemed to have expected me to ask such a question that everyone knew, and gave me a "is it still necessary to ask" expression.
She tilted her head, thought about it, and gave an answer seriously: "I think that happy ordinary people are a false proposition. ”
Translated, she believes that there are no happy ordinary people in this world. In other words, she felt that ordinary people could not be happy.
I understand what she means, an ordinary person, with a house, a car, children's education, social work, etc., it is difficult to be happy under many pressures. It's a bit like "Poor Couple Pepsi Lament". So, in her subconscious, ordinary people will not be happy; only elites will be happy.
Haidian mother, Shunyi mother I have seen. I have a friend, who is also a Haidian mother, in order to let her children go to a better school, signed up for two classes for her children at the same time, occupying two places, thinking that one of the two would always have a chance to go to school.
On the road of children's education, every mother does her best. From the day he was born, we had charted a path to the elite for him.
I saw an article a while ago.
The author is a Tsinghua school bully, both husband and wife are Qingbei graduates, when they carefully planned, do enough preparations to have a baby, has been full of confidence, thinking that their children will be the same as them, is a school bully, but the fact did not develop in the direction she expected.
Her child's academic performance, physical fitness... Very ordinary in many ways. They are lost, completely incomprehensible, and have a hard time accepting that their child is an ordinary person. Therefore, all kinds of classes were registered, and he was given tuition, hoping to improve, but it was still not satisfactory.
This is the same as the plot in "Little Joy".
In the play, Dong Wenjie, played by Haiqing, is the mother of a high school junior, who originally had high expectations for her son, and even made up for her child's future life, entered college, found a job, got married and had children... As a result, the teacher called and told her that the child might be relegated to a squat class.
The diagram comes from the network
She was furious, and did not understand that she and her husband were both academic bullies, why did she have a scumbag who did not seek progress?
"You don't call me Mom, I'm not your mom." Why should I give birth to you, I am full of food, I should not give birth to you.
Learning does not work, fights and fights are clear. Mom's junior year of high school, physics 93, math 92, chemistry 91, except for the English handicap, everything else is very good. Why don't you follow your mother at all? ”
This is too true, I believe that everyone can see their own self in that year.
In fact, this is also the idea of most parents: we all hope that our children are elites and bully, and think that being elite and bullying is the ultimate pursuit, and such a life is a successful life.
But what is elite and what is ordinary! Is there only one way out of life?
not necessarily! Life is rich and colorful, and there are many possibilities for the future of children.
At the age of 10 in Wuhan, other people's children who can already cook all kinds of delicious dishes are envious, and I wonder if the children are willing to be a chef in the future and become the chef at the state banquet.
You say, is he an ordinary person, or an elite?
There is also an example around me. After being introduced by a friend, I met a new hairdresser. The little girl looks to be in her 20s and is already a veteran with nearly 10 years of experience. Looking for her to cut her hair, 680 at a time, not counting the dyeing, it is said that it is impossible to make an appointment without an appointment in advance, and the net income is at least 5,000 yuan per day.
You say, is she an ordinary person, or an elite?
The "old knot" in "The World" was forced to stay with his parents, did not go to college, became an ordinary worker, married a widow, and was unjustly imprisoned. However, it is this indisputable "old knot" that has become the pillar of the whole family, in the father, brother and sister in the field work for more than 10 years, Zhou Bingkun to take care of the paralyzed mother, with the sister's children, raising other people's sons, even if they encounter many life's unhappiness, still did not erase his simplicity, kindness and filial piety. Although the qualifications are mediocre, the probability will not go particularly far, so they have more time and energy to accompany their parents, which is not a kind of happiness.
As Liang Xiaosheng, the original author of "The World of Man", said: "No matter what the qualifications, as long as you work hard and be kind, everyone in the world can find their own place and give full play to their talents." ”
True education is not about making people elite. Nor is it to obey the wishes of our parents and sculpt them into the way we want them to be.
Every child will eventually live out his or her own life and rhythm. What we can do is to enable children to extend their infinite vitality and possibilities in a limited life. Only by becoming a better self can you be truly happy.
Throughout their lives, people pursue happiness and happiness. Aristotle once said: "Happiness is the purpose and meaning of life, the ultimate goal and end of human existence." ”
Happiness is a matter of consciousness, it has nothing to do with whether you are elite or not, it has to do with how you think. Do you feel happy? An ordinary person, as long as he feels happy, he is happy.
All parents in the world have the same original intention, and ultimately want their children to be happy. Haidian mothers love their children no less than anyone else. It's just that most of them regard "becoming elite as a prerequisite for the happiness of their children".
This is actually a kind of inversion of the cart before the horse.
Instead of focusing on "how to build an elite", it is better to teach children from an early age the ability to feel happiness in life and even create happiness; cultivate their qualities necessary for success such as kindness, perseverance, and courage from an early age; discover and observe their children from an early age, take them to see more about the world, let them discover their own interests, and finally determine their own life goals.
End