Lin Yutang said:
"The wisdom of life is to gradually clarify and filter out the impurities that are not important, while retaining the most important parts."
This is not only true of things, but also of relationships.
When people reach middle age, energy, time, and money are precious, so they should be used as much as possible on people and things that are worthwhile.
Take the common ritual in daily life, there are three kinds of etiquette, except for wasting money that means nothing to you at all, so don't be silly to follow it again.
The courtesy of a man who has never been shown to you
The Book of Rites says:
"Coming and going is not polite; coming and going is also incivility."
The real relationship has never been poverty alleviation, not a one-sided blind payment, but a courtesy exchange between everyone, so as to heat up feelings.
If you are the only one who blindly gives and gives, and when you have something, the other party does not express anything at all, then it is obvious that you are not regarded as a friend in the hearts of others.
Such a gift, you will not get any closer to any distance, and even make others feel that you are trying to please.
I have seen such a story on the Internet:
There is such a middle-aged man who has a neighbor to the door. When two people get along, although the neighbor has nothing to show him, he will follow the gift if the neighbor has any happy events.
In his mind, distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors, and neighbors have things to do with gifts, which is also the best way to maintain relationships.
It wasn't until one later that he overheard the neighbor taunting behind his back, saying that he was ostensibly enthusiastic, but in fact he was a person who liked to make friends.
He truly realized that some people's hearts are not warm, and others simply do not care to maintain a relationship with him.
There is a saying:
"This is the golden rule of how you treat others, and you will treat them in whatever way others treat you, and this is the platinum law."
The relationship between people is only mutual.
If in a relationship you never reciprocate what you give to someone, then don't give back.
After all, your sincerity and money don't have to be wasted on people who don't consider you friends at all.
There is very little reciprocal etiquette
Zheng Zhi wrote in "Raw Swallow":
"Breaking up is the norm in life, and we are no exception."
The relationship between people has a time limit, maybe before everyone's life intersected, communication has a topic, the relationship is particularly good.
But then when two people are separated and cut off from each other, then the relationship will slowly become strange, and many times there is no need to maintain it at all.
I've seen a video like this:
A middle-aged college classmate's child runs a full moon wine, and sends a time and place for full moon wine in the circle of friends.
And, after the middle-aged people saw it, there was no praise, no blessing, and no expression.
To this, the wife asked him incomprehensibly: "Aren't you classmates?" Isn't that supposed to be a bit of an indication? ”
And the middle-aged man just said:
"I haven't been in touch for nearly 10 years, he has his circle and life, I have my own, then don't bother brushing the sense of existence."
Passing Through Your World says:
"The beginning of the story is always like this, the right time to meet, caught off guard; the end of the story is always like this, two flowers bloom, the sky is different."
Accepting separation is a compulsory course for everyone.
If two people have never had any contact and intersection, then such a gift should not be followed.
Because, if you follow the gift, many times there will be no emotional heating, and even cause trouble to others.
The courtesy of the person who has to do everything to do the banquet
In life, there will always be such people.
Whether they hold banquets or events, the real purpose is not to exchange feelings with each other.
Instead, in the name of exchanging feelings, it is a fact of taking advantage of the circle of money.
You will find such people, holding a banquet has become the norm, and even the child just won an award to ask someone to celebrate.
This kind of ritual, if you follow it, will only increase your troubles in the end, and your expenses will continue to flow.
Colleague Hadron, who once told a friend he knew.
This friend can hold more than a dozen banquets a year, and each time he has to invite all the people who can.
At first, he felt that everyone was friends and was not embarrassed to shirk, so he participated, and each gift ranged from 500 to 1000.
However, more than a dozen times a year really made him very overwhelmed, and in the end he couldn't stand it, so he had to alienate the relationship.
In fact, in daily life, there are not a few people like Hadron friends, and they run banquets just to calculate "getting rich".
Such a gift, not only has no possibility of giving back, but also makes you overwhelmed.
So why should such a gift be followed, and why bother to follow!
Suzen said:
"You don't have to bring too many people into your life. If they can't get into your heart, they'll just crowd your life. ”
Life is short, you must use your limited resources on meaningful things, worthy people, only in this way, your life can be easy.
Casual etiquette is a very direct and very good way to maintain relationships.
However, gifts come with the expense of our money, and not everyone, every relationship is worth paying for.
When people reach middle age, the above three meaningless gifts should not be followed.
Instead, they know how to save money and use it in the lives of worthy people and themselves, so as to make their lives more comfortable.
END
Author: Away from the rain slightly cool, a rational, emotional, like to use words to express personal views, bring you spiritual healing, emotional solution, life perception of the post-90s writer.