01
The ancients said: "Only for the lack of filial piety and friendship in the family, the same branch and one tree will be judged to be prosperous and withered." ”
In a family, as long as there is a selfish and indifferent person, it will not be peaceful, and everyone will be mentally unbalanced.
For the sake of selfish interests, you can ignore the flesh and blood feelings; in order to protect your own interests, you can refuse to help anyone, and even the lack of virtue of oppressing your parents can also be done.
Most people, when they encounter selfish and indifferent relatives, the first thing they think of is "staying away", but how to do it seems very confused. This is not to say that when the distance is far away, the contradiction naturally disappears.
Some grudges, even after a few years, will still bubble up, and it is inevitable to turn over old accounts.
Today, it is recommended that you learn the following methods to protect yourself from hurting your loved ones.
02
First, reduce expectations and be okay with each other.
When we were young, when we visited relatives and friends, we often heard the elders say, "In the future, if you have difficulties, you will come to me." ”
As a result, you remember the words of your elders and think that your future has a backer.
For example, a relative is a high official in a certain unit and has power and power. If you want to start a business, you will immediately think of this relative, let him say hello to some key units, and the problem will be solved.
In fact, when you go to a relative for help, the other party "takes back" what you said before. If you don't agree to help, you have to find another way.
As the saying goes: "Without expectation, there is no disappointment." ”
If you do anything and don't expect help from your loved ones, you will not only not be disappointed, but you will also have unexpected surprises. There are always some relatives who ask you about your entrepreneurship and give you guidance. Even if you don't, it doesn't matter, after all, you alone will be fine.
03
Second, talk less about money, and don't borrow or repay.
"Brothers do not share wealth, sisters have less contact", you can respect your relatives and stay away, that is your idea, relatives do not necessarily think so.
Therefore, you must learn to refuse to "talk about money", borrow money, to minimize, really want to borrow money, should also be reasonable, do not become a confused account.
The writer Sanmao said: "When you borrow money from people, you always want the other party to give generously; most of you are sad and unhappy when you return your debts." ”
Treat your loved ones' money as your own money and spend it effortlessly. As for the matter of return, it will be delayed again and again, and perhaps there will be no "money shadow" for more than ten years. Such behavior, the most hurtful, is also common.
Borrowing money between relatives, emergencies can help a bunch, spending money in a big way, or forget it, euphemistically rejecting once or twice, it doesn't matter.
You are ruthless and unjust, so why should I be sentient and righteous? Some emotions cannot be physically deleted, but you can delete them from the bottom of your heart.
04
Third, go our separate ways and not talk about cooperation.
If your brothers look for you, set up a factory together. You will definitely think that this is a good opportunity to make money, after all, fat water does not flow to outsiders' fields.
In fact, brothers and sisters started a business together, and later made a lot of trouble, and things that failed a lot abounded.
Hindered by the love of blood, in the process of entrepreneurship, everyone can not distinguish between "primary and secondary". Everyone wants to point fingers and become a leader; when they share dividends, they all think that they have done a lot of credit and want more. The system that was established before, in the end, could not be implemented in place.
If you cooperate with ordinary people, you can always speak in blackface, and you can use the system to manage people and things.
Compare that and you'll know what to do. Even if it is a family business, there must be a very strict system, and everyone cannot intervene.
05
Fourth, less nonsense, silence is golden.
Reader "Fish Play Evening Wind" said that her mother-in-law likes to meddle in her son's small family and is eager to follow her son 24 hours a day. Between the two generations, there is no sense of boundaries, resulting in small couples often quarreling.
With the development of the times, brothers and sisters will mostly go out to work and start a business, and they can only get together during the New Year's Festival. But everyone can chat in the WeChat group and make phone calls anytime, anywhere.
You know, the real distance is not just a few hundred kilometers away from each other, but also "ignoring it". Everyone's feelings are cold, and the indifferent expression will not often come to your mind.
"Disasters come out of the mouth", many contradictions are caused by everyone's usual nonsense.
In the future, no matter what your relatives say, if you don't answer the phone, they will naturally look very boring. Whoever has it will roar at a wall every day.
06
Fifth, respect parents and be unashamed.
Many people think that between relatives, they have become selfish and indifferent, which is caused by their parents.
For example, if the parents are distressed by the idle son, the other siblings will naturally have resentment.
In other words, it is their right for parents to give money to a particular child. The only responsibility of parents is to raise all their children to adulthood. Why should adult children interfere with their parents' behavior?
The most heinous thing is that some people, when their parents can't move, take care of them for a few more days, and they want their parents to see clearly and leave more family wealth for themselves. Such behavior is no different from "buying and selling in the market".
When you meet eccentric parents and selfish relatives, you will transform your affection into "filial piety". As long as your parents are doing well, your responsibilities are in place.
When you have achieved a clear conscience, it is also "natural" to alienate your relatives, not to help your relatives, and to ignore the evaluation of outsiders. Man should not live in gossip, but in a society that speaks morally.
07
In recent years, more and more relatives and friends have settled in the city, but fewer and fewer relatives have been able to come and go frequently. Most of the people who can get closer are parents, brothers and sisters.
If you want to keep the love of blood, you have to "go to the complicated and simple". If hatred comes, you stay away and don't think about it; if anyone cares about you, take it and double the repayment.
People's hearts are all flesh, and your kindness to people may not be reciprocated, but it can certainly warm people's hearts.
If one day you find that your parents are particularly cold and heartless to you, you should not have hatred, but examine yourself.
There is a saying that goes: "To change others is mental illness, to change oneself is to be spiritual." ”
All in all, being a kind person, and not forcing others to be kind, life is happy.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.