From a macroscopic point of view, the reality is actually not about gender, but also about personality, emotional people often can not do complete self-interest, at most only choose the best, and rational people are just the opposite.
But in relationships and marriages, men are often much more realistic than women!
A woman's mouth is duplicitous in the mouth, and a man's mouth is a duplicitous heart
Many people say: women have love, men do not, men look at women in all aspects of the conditions can be, they do not suffer losses, to the age of marriage, women have love, other conditions do not look.
When you think about it, it is. When talking about marriage, most of the marriages opposed by the woman's parents are persuaded by both soft and hard, and most of the men's parents oppose them are blown away by two words.
Women can't separate money from affection, but men can do it clearly. A woman who says you are useless every day is still willing to marry you, even without a room, without a bride price, and with a dowry. On the surface, it is bitter and mean, but in fact, the mouth is duplicitous, and the knife mouth tofu heart.
As long as there is love, her principles and bottom line can be retreated for each other. Looking back at men, before getting married, they swore that you are as beautiful as a flower, I earn money to support the family, but after marriage, I think you don't know how to be diligent and thrifty.
In "Mr. Love", Gu Yao was originally a school flower with a beautiful appearance, talent, and sought after by everyone, but she gave up her career for love, and as soon as she graduated, she rushed to the United States to marry her husband Song Ningyu, and also obeyed his plea to be a full-time wife with no worries.
In the past seven years, Gu Yao has worked diligently for the family and for her husband, but in the end he has not been able to survive the "seven-year itch". Mr. Perfect's Song Ningyu has cheated.
Gu Yao was devastated after learning about it, she endured and retreated, but her sense of trust had long been broken, and she could not go back to the past. Gu Yao, who decided to divorce, packed up his mood and hired a clever lawyer to ask Song Ningyu to leave the house.
When the two were in court, Gu Yao expressed all the grievances of these years, and Song Ningyu only said lightly after hearing it: "Then you have been wronged, you can tell me, anyway, I have been raising you for so many years."
Dress the best clothes, live in the best house, drive the best car, what are you doing when I'm out there making money? The wind can't blow and the rain can't rain, have you ever given me warmth? What have you ever given this home? Why should I get out of the house? ”
At that moment, Gu Yao did not expect that in the heart of her husband who had been in love for many years, she was such an image. Gu Yao said angrily, "Song Ningyu, have you forgotten that when I was a full-time wife, you knelt down and begged me."
Promises when in love, people who speak carelessly, people who listen to them are unforgettable.
Women's mouth is duplicitous, it is clear that the heart loves the death, the mouth says "I don't love you", the man's mouth is duplicitous, it is clear that the heart is not so loving, but the mouth says "I can't do without you".
The love brain is on the business brain, and it is inevitable to lose. When a person gambles on everything he has, he naturally can't stand a little gap, especially people with sensitive personalities, they will put a little bit of neglect into not loving.
So after not getting what they want, some people make unreasonable negative emotions burst out, and some people suffer silently until their hearts are like ashes.
A woman's reality begins with despair of love, when she loves you, she is duplicitous, and when she is desperate, she is iron-hearted.
The man's reality highlights his abilities
A person's degree of reality is often closely related to his own ability. Ordinary men in the choice of partners, most of them will not go to the downward compatibility, either choose the right door, or choose their own career or family development is beneficial.
Compared with women, in the choice of partners more emphasis on the sense of responsibility and "good or bad" for her this objective condition, the reality of men, in fact, has been revealed.
The more incompetent a man, the more he hates the reality of women and the more he does not trust his own people, the easier it is to question that others have the same magic, and from the root of both, this butterfly effect comes from his own inferiority.
However, this sentence, changing genders is the same reason, but generally men are talking about women's reality, and few women will say men's reality.
They say this because they can't give it themselves, or you don't deserve it.
Capable man, not afraid of others to weigh, afraid of others do not weigh, ability is his proud capital. In the blind date market, we can often hear some men complaining that "older leftover women" only know what is the use of making money, and they are not unable to find a husband.
Such sour words are just knowing that their own abilities are inferior to women', and they use demeaning others to show their sense of superiority. Pedantic and selfish.
And when such people fall in love or get married with a woman who is much better than themselves, they are most likely not thinking about cherishing this hard-won partner, but "you are such a good woman can fall in love with me, indicating that I am more excellent."
This is also the reason why women try not to help the poor and marry low, money and ability from a certain level, but also caused a gap in thinking and quality.
Reality is the wailing of the incompetent, and one's abilities can be added. Therefore, neither men nor women should be the one who is left behind after weighing the pros and cons of the other party, nor should it be the party that is devalued by the other party in the long flow of time.
Everyone has inconsistent needs at different ages, and all we have to do is, at least, live better than we once were.
Love and reality are not in conflict
In life, we will find that the harder you try to accomplish or expect something, the more it will backfire. I often hear people say, "I married love, but I lost to reality".
What is the reality? Money, materiality, three views? Or do you confuse love with marriage and confuse the attitude of life and ideal life?
The love of youth is enough for two people to like, but the love after growing up is life, and feelings can not have any purpose, but marriage cannot.
A person's ability to be happy has a lot to do with whether he can think, judge, bear, face, etc. independently, if you don't have it, then it is best not to give up everything that exists for love.
Otherwise, once this intimate relationship is out of balance, you are likely to put yourself in a situation of being slaughtered. If you have come to this point, don't get by, first maintain the existing ones, and then chase after the outside of the ability.
There is a sentence in the TV series "The First Half of My Life", which is deeply felt: "The road must go step by step, and it is painful to eat one bite at a time, and the cramps and skin can be reborn, and there is no shortcut in addition." ”
People's true abilities are always potential, and bottlenecks are used to break through, not to discourage you.
Recognizing yourself is much more difficult than accepting others, there is a word called "knowing the world and not the world", is that you know the reality of marriage, but still choose to believe in your love, is to know how much power you have, how much strength you make.
There is no perfectionism in love or marriage, and what you see is the perfect state presented by both parties in order to run into each other silently and without knowing how many steps they have taken behind their backs.
And state is a relatively static verb, maintained by the love and patience of both parties.
No matter how vigorous love is, it must return to life, realistic love is rational, and your so-called love supremacy is just a castle in the air, which can only be viewed from a distance and cannot be blasphemed.
Married life can occasionally pursue romance, but remember not to deliberately de-formalize the pursuit of idealism.
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