The Tang Dynasty Song Zhiwen wrote a homecoming poem entitled "Crossing the Han River", which reads: "Lingwaiyin book is extinct, and the winter is repeated in the spring." The nostalgia is more timid, and I dare not ask the people who come. From the poet's plain verses, it can be seen that this is the truest feeling in the heart of a wanderer who has been away from home for many years when he returns home.
In just twenty words, without sensational ink and without exaggerated tone, the poet used an almost white painting technique to write the helplessness of not being able to hear and wait for the return date, the wanderer's desire to go home, and the anxiety in his heart when he was getting closer and closer to home. Therefore, we can't help but substitute for the wanderer's feelings: it has been many years since we left home, and we don't know whether our hometown is still the same as the old one, whether the people in our hometown are still as simple and enthusiastic as when we left, and our own hometown sounds that have gradually spoken non-standard, whether the people in our hometown will feel strange when they hear it...
The ship docked quietly, and the passengers on board slowly moved to the shore with the crowd, which was different from the quiet of the ship and the slow movement of the passengers, and his mind turned a thousand times, and too many scenes that could happen but did not necessarily happen came to mind. Come to think of it, everything is because I care in my heart. Because I care, because I have too many expectations in my heart, I will be afraid of the unknown things and scenes when the result is unknown. On the way, he met a hometown person, and he did not dare to speak.
Like the poet, I often feel cowardly about returning home, especially as the new year draws near. If the "township" of "closer to homesickness" is a kind of spatial timidity, then "year" is a kind of time timidity. According to the custom of the Chinese people, the "year" is calculated according to the lunar calendar, from the first month to the waxing moon, from the first day of the first month to the Chinese New Year's Eve. Even if you are busy with work and have more things on weekdays, when the New Year is over, you have to go back home, talk to your parents, and pay homage to your elders.
Strictly speaking, no matter whether it is legal documents or folk customs, there is no stipulation on how to go home, but every wanderer who leaves home must have the idea of "wanting to mix up some famous things to show his parents", so at the end of the year, it is necessary to take a good look at the "harvest" of this year to see what he has gained and what he has lost. This is not an inventory, and the timidity in the heart of the inventory unconsciously comes to mind. Obviously, reality is always less beautiful than imagined, and the result is often far from expectations, so we become more and more timid and afraid. When their parents asked about the year's harvest, the answer would disappoint them.
No, it's only a few days before the New Year, and I can't help but worry. I have been working in this unit for more than 10 years now, and the work is getting heavier and heavier, but the salary has not risen, and it is inevitable that I will be discouraged. But the days had to go on, so I used the weekends and holidays to go out and work part-time, and naturally, I went home less often. At the same time, in the past year, the epidemic has always "emerged" from time to time, and everyone is afraid that if they are not careful, they will become the source of infection, and I am more and more afraid to go home. After a year of hard work, although there were some gains, when I put them in my hands, I always felt that the weight was too light to show in front of my family. I wanted to and didn't dare to entangle with each other, and the tension in my heart added a few points.
Just when hesitating, my brother sent a message and said, "There are a lot of sweet potatoes in the family, and you haven't come home, so why don't you bring you some." I listened, my heart warmed, but I didn't want him to run a special trip, so I replied: "Bring some when it's convenient for you." "It didn't take long for my brother to send it to me. As soon as the sweet potato was put down, he left.
Watching my brother's car gradually run away, my mother's busy appearance in front of the stove suddenly broke into my mind, and the mood of returning home became more and more urgent. Perhaps, in the hearts of parents, it is not necessary to need much of a child's appearance. All they want and ask for is the peace and smoothness of their children, so let them go home and see it often.
(The author is a member of Zhejiang Writers Association and China Electric Power Writers Association)
