Not long ago, I watched the movie "Mrs. Lori and Her Son" released in 2019, Timothy. The wonderful renditions of Spoo and Vanessa Redgrave amaze me, it's incredible.
The film depicts a painter who loves to paint and spends his life painting for his mother, who has been subjected to the PUA control of maternal love during his mother's lifetime. The son, Raleigh, continued to paint under the mental torture of his mother, Mrs. Lori, in the hope of receiving his mother's approval and praise. He eventually became famous after his mother's death, but he thought it all had lost its meaning.
Everyone's comments on this movie are basically about how much Mrs. Lowry's strength has affected her son.
And from the movie, I saw Mrs. Lowry's strength, but also felt that she lost her sense of security and finally lost the development process of becoming a poor and persistent woman.
<h1 class= "ql-long-31532417" >01. This movie allows Mrs. Lowry to show her strength to the fullest, in addition to the superb acting skills of the actors themselves, the various ways of setting are just right. </h1>
<h2 class="ql-long-31532417" > (1) The film positively shows Mrs. Lowry's strength from the dialogue in which Mrs. Lowry asks her son to do various things. </h2>
Every day when her son Raleigh entered the house, he would receive various instructions from Mrs. Lori — asking his son to hang up his raincoat so as not to let it drip, wiping his feet clean, drying the water from the umbrella, locking the door, and asking his son to answer her words in time, otherwise she would think that his son had a bad attitude towards her. If her son had returned later that day, Mrs. Lori would have asked him where he had gone.
Once, when the wife next door was coming to the house, Mrs. Lowry thought she needed privacy, so she strongly demanded that her son should not stay at home and must go out for a walk, and when she heard that her son wanted to go to Bolton, a place far from home, she disagreed, saying that she just wanted her son to take a walk nearby.
Mrs. Lowry's domineering language when she chats with her son reveals a suffocating desire for control—her son's hobbies, thoughts, and behaviors must be within her control, and she will go crazy whenever his son resists her at the slightest.
<h2 class="ql-long-31532417" > (2) The film uses the son's attitude toward his mother and the husband's cowardice and incompetence to reflect Mrs. Lowry's strength. </h2>
My son received a letter from a London critic praising the paintings he had sent. But the son was happy and excited, so he wondered where to put the letter. Finally he wrapped the letters in discarded kraft paper and hid them in a pile of jars in a kitchen locker.
The son secretly sent Mrs. Lowry's painting "Back from the Factory" to the Academy for competition. After being discovered, Lowry was furious and made his son angry and burned the painting in the attic. , the wife found out. During the quarrel, the son was repeatedly not recognized by his mother, and all of them ended up after Mrs. Lowry's death, and although the son became a well-known painter, he felt that everything was meaningless.
The son seemed cautious under Mrs. Lowry's oppression, and his life was like what he choked up when he burned the painting: everything he did was for his mother, all for love. The purpose of his life was to make his mother happy, even though he was no longer happy.
Mrs. Lowry recalls that when her husband was collecting rent before his death, he was splashed with water by the tenant and finally did not receive the rent and felt that her husband was useless, and told her son that his husband borrowed a lot of money from her relatives to leave a debt, and when he let her move to this unsatisfactory place, he gritted his teeth and blamed his husband for humiliating her.
From mrs. Lowry's words revealing the pain and dissatisfaction, it can be seen that her husband is a weak and incompetent person who makes her have no expectations, so it is bound to make her more powerful in the family.
<h1 class="ql-long-31532417" >02.There must be pity for the hateful, and behind Mrs. Lowry's strong behavior is a heart that has lost its "self". </h1>
<h2 class="ql-long-31532417" > (1) fear that his son would no longer obey her and leave her. </h2>
Mrs. Lowry was unable to persuade her son not to continue painting during an argument with her son, so she told him, "Give up, Raleigh, just for me." ”
During a conversation, when Mrs. Lowry asked if her son would never leave her, and he assured her that he would never leave her, Mrs. Lowry was overjoyed and was very pleased.
Mrs. Lori, who has lost her husband, is left with her son, who is afraid that his son will not care about her feelings, that his son will leave her, so she needs his obedience and the assurance that he will not leave her" to increase her sense of security.
<h2 class="ql-long-31532417" > (2) is very concerned about what others think of her. </h2>
Mrs. Lowry, who did not like her son's paintings at all, was even more humiliated when she saw the newspaper critic Mr. Denby's very low evaluation of her son's paintings, so she strongly urged her son to give up painting. But then because Mrs. Stanhope liked the painting "Sailboat", she began to care about it and only cared about it. He even strongly urged his son to send "Sailing" to the Academy for the exhibition, and then began to feel puzzled and annoyed because he could not find Mr. Danby's praise for "Sailing" in the newspaper.
Mrs. Lowry is constantly influenced by other people's opinions, and she cannot accept negative evaluations of her or her son. And as long as she agrees with the assertion that the working class is critical, the attitude of the elegant middle class that she thinks is unanimously pandered.
<h2 class="ql-long-31532417" > (3) can not get out of the dilemma of "class concept" from beginning to end. </h2>
Mrs. Lowry has repeatedly spoken of fear of thieves coming into their house because her neighbors are working-class and make her feel insecure, except for Mrs. Stanhope, who has just moved in next door—Mrs. Lowry thinks she is as bourgeois as she is from her elegant dress.
Mrs. Lowry said until the last moment of her life: "One day this house will be demolished, and no one will know that we have lived here." "She never wanted people to know that she lived in the area.
Mrs. Lowry seemed to me to be pathetic, and she had been trapped in the "anti-working class" because her husband was forced to move to a lower-class residence because of her husband's debts, but she still struggled to maintain what she thought of as middle-class elegance and taste of life, such as her red shoes and her demands for dinner.
<h1 class="ql-long-31532417" >03
</h1>
From the warm pictures of Mrs. Lori and Little Raleigh appearing many times in the film, Mrs. Lori also mentioned twice that her son was so cute and that she was so blessed. Mrs. Lowry finally talks to her son about her opinion of Sailboat not because Mrs. Stanhope likes it, but because the painting hides the happy days she and her son had.
In fact, Mrs. Lori loves Raleigh, but her obsession with the middle-class life in the past is too deep, and the pressure of life and her dissatisfaction with life make her unable to vent and turn her into an aggressive mother who has lost herself.
So in real life, how should you live a wonderful life as a woman or even a mother?
<h2 class="ql-long-31532417" > (1) The sense of security is given by yourself, do not expect to get it from others. </h2>
Security is a psychological cue, the so-called psychological effect. And when a person's behavior or performance makes you feel at ease, that is, you get a sense of security from that person. This way will actually make people suffer from gains and losses, and in the end, it will be more difficult to get a sense of security.
Just as Mrs. Lowry was favored by her envied neighbor, Mrs. Stanthop, the bourgeoisie, because of her son's paintings, she felt that she was still part of the bourgeoisie and had not been reduced to the working class she despised because of the place where she lived. So when Mrs. Stanhope was angry, Mrs. Lowry also had an emotional breakdown.
Therefore, don't try to get your own sense of security from others like Mrs. Lori, and be yourself is the most important thing.
<h2 class="ql-long-31532417" > (2) Don't be too attached to the past life, whether it was good or bad before, it is most important to look to the future. </h2>
Immersing oneself in the past often causes people to stay where they are and torture themselves and stop moving. The second half of everyone's life is precious, and it is better to look back on the past than to face the reality boldly, to believe that they will always find their own beauty and happiness.
Mrs. Lowry's longing for the good life of the past makes her never able to face the reality in front of her, and the resentment towards her husband is actually punishing herself, which undoubtedly makes her more painful.
The good or bad, the lucky and the bad that you encountered in your previous life will eventually become the past, and the past is just a memory, proving that you have really experienced it.
<h2 class="ql-long-31532417" > (3) Even if you get married and have children, you must live out of yourself, and live a better life for your family. </h2>
Hong Lan, a doctor of psychology in Taiwan, once said:
The mother is the soul of the family, the mother is happy, the whole family is happy, and the mother is anxious.
Every woman is not an appendage of anyone, she is first an independent woman, then a wife, a mother. Therefore, women should have their own interests and hobbies before and after marriage and have always insisted on it, and only by becoming a better version of themselves and not always dependent on others can they have the ability to maintain family harmony.
Mrs. Lowry complained at one point that her husband and son had not become a successful businessman as she had hoped, and it was evident from her complaints that her focus was always on her husband and son. Before marriage, she was an elegant and piano girl, but later her life was always focused on her husband and son, which made her deviate more and more from her expectations.
Summary: A family's misfortune can be made up of many aspects, one of which is to have a strong mother.
And the strong mother will make the people around her breathless and want to flee. But in fact, many times it is not that she wants to be strong, but because there is a weak area in her heart or in the place where she is located, and this weak area will make her lose herself.
We should give the "strong" mother more care, let her understand that we care about her, and let her get out of the cage of "strong" for her family and live her wonderful life.