When I revisited the novel "The Great Gatsby" before, I kept thinking about a question:
Is Gatsby's tragedy a tragedy of love?
Or the paranoia of ideas caused by his belief that money can fulfill dreams.
On the surface, Gatsby's story is about a romantic and persistent young man who places all his love on a girl with a beautiful appearance and a corrupt mind by money.
But if Gatsby hadn't had this unrealistic love affair, wouldn't his tragedy have played out?
"Gatsby deeply appreciates how wealth imprisons and preserves youth and mystery, how a set of clothes makes people keep clear, and how Daisy shines like silver, standing safely above the fierce struggle for survival of the poor."
Thus, Gatsby's love was the wrong choice when it first sprouted, and he was obsessed with getting the satisfaction of all the vanity that Daisy could bring her.
Gatsby's love tragedy is actually the inevitable result of his excessive worship of money, and the mistake of love choice is not an accidental accident, but an inevitable ending.
01 Is your view of money influenced by your parents?
One of my clients (call her Xiaolin) said, after many consultations, "I understand the relationship between money and my mother." ”
"How could it be?" I smiled and asked her.
Xiao Lin replied:
"My mom was always harsh on me. From an early age she made me understand that spending more money on items is wasteful and bad.
So my closet, which was always filled with cheap and ugly shoes, didn't have a pair that I liked to wear or felt good about myself.
My guilt and shame are all because I spend a lot of money and use things I don't like. ”
Xiaolin realized that she had internalized a hypothetical message that despite her hard work and financial ability, she also felt that she did not deserve good things.
Eventually, she changed her belief in consumption and bought fewer but better shoes.
This helps her clear her mind and improve her finances, because when she has shoes she likes, she actually spends less on shoes.
In fact, you may spend money in a very similar way to your parents – or mistakenly over-correct their notions about money.
02 "Money Script": The Director of Your Life
Financial psychologist Brad Klontz once proposed an interesting concept called the "money script".
He says the "money playbook" is a potential assumption or belief about money that is usually formed in childhood and eventually followed unconsciously throughout adulthood. ”
The "money playbook" stems from early life events related to money.
These events are powerful, and the traces they leave behind will continue into adulthood. These early childhood beliefs tend to drive our financial behavior as adults.
Often, they are passed down from generation to generation in the family and affect our finances.
Klontz said:
"If you think of unconscious beliefs as a playbook, it's easy to understand.
It's like actors getting the script and rehearsing it. In the same way, we blindly follow our money script. ”
He added: "We learn our lines very well and perform them faithfully. ”
Your belief in money is also your belief in your life. It's your guide, it's your foundation, it's the meaning behind your money. ”
03 What is your belief about money?
Consider this:
What's the one thing that has been with you about money since childhood?
Is money a "problem" in your family? Is it the source of conflict? Tools to achieve your goals?
Is money a source of conflict or worry?
Were money worries part of your upbringing? Why?
All of these experiences leave your belief in money in your brain and shape your behavior and mindset today.
If you grew up thinking it was crucial to show society your success, there's a good chance you'll spend more money on life than you should.
If you grew up knowing that money is nothing more than a tool, then you may be more planned for spending money.
But does that mean you're being held back by what you've taken away from the past?
Not really.
When the beliefs about money in your head are not enough to support your current and your values in the adult world, then perhaps it is time to build a new set of values.
04 Rewriting Your "Money Script"
If we are computers, we just need to install new software to change the program, it is very simple.
Unfortunately, we are human beings and it takes more effort to change our beliefs, behaviors, and habits.
The first thing to understand is that just because we absorbed a certain information and idea when we were young doesn't mean it should be a part of your life now.
A play written in my childhood is about:
Our parents held specific beliefs and attitudes about money, forming our own beliefs and attitudes.
And we often don't realize how much these early stories affect our perceptions.
As the Great Gatsby ends:
So we rowed forward, the boat that was going up against the current, and kept going backwards, into the past.
In a way, money can also serve as a mirror of how you let your behavior patterns and thought patterns "dominate everything."
It can also serve as a much-needed reminder to tell you that there is more to it than your mind.
If those past beliefs have a negative impact on behavior, although we are still the protagonists of our own lives, we have given the power to determine the future to the past.
We are the writers of our own life stories.
We walked on the road and could choose any shoes we wanted.
You can go explore your money script and rewrite your story.
Just remember: you are not bound by past beliefs, and the ability to make changes is clearly and powerfully embedded in your power.
It's a day-to-day, step-by-step process.
After all, the past doesn't have to be the prologue.
The End.