Have you ever had a memorable person in your memory?
He or she appears in the most splendid moments of our lives, and all the goodness, all the joys and sorrows, originate from him or her.
We have all thought about the future of holding hands and entering the palace of marriage together, that is, this person next to us, but we did not think that one day, our fate will come to an end, facing that incomparably familiar face, but we have to say goodbye.
Gaining and losing, saying that we are not sad is false, but we can't go back to the past, so we try to forget.
Delete and block each other's contact information, erase his (her) figure in his or her mind, do not go to the place where two people have been, do not listen to the songs recommended by the other party to themselves, but even so, we can not drive out that figure in our minds, but it is more and more unforgettable.
That's because the human brain is rebellious, and the more you don't do anything, the more you involuntarily want to do something, so such forgetting is never useful.
The most appropriate way to forget about a person is actually to "amplify the shortcomings". Why? I'll share them later.
Forgetting never needs to be deliberate
When Qiu Yingying and Ying Qin in the TV series "Ode to Joy" broke up, they also forced themselves to forget each other and deleted each other's contact information.
But the more she forgets, the more she will think of the bits and pieces of the two people together, she deleted WeChat, can't see each other's circle of friends, just hold someone else's mobile phone to see, what is the meaning of such forgetting?
Later, she began to be busy with work, as long as the mind of the need to be diligent, she will find things for herself to do, let herself be busy, wait until tired and have no strength, there is no energy to think about it again, slowly, once thought it was difficult to put down things, in this way of handling become insignificant.
I like a quote from Fudan Professor Chen Guo: "What you care about, what will torment you, expectation is the root of all suffering, some things, I am lucky, I lost my life, when you see through everything, you will understand that the original loss is more solid than having." ”
All that can't be put down is actually a shackle on ourselves, forgetting never needs to be deliberate, when we go with the flow, we will find that it is not so difficult to let go.
A bus has its timetable, a train has its timetable, but the emotional thing, there is no timetable, it keeps moving forward, missing is missing, no matter how hard it is, it is useless, so it may be more useful to accept it calmly than to blindly insist.
Forget that one can try the "disadvantage amplification method"
01), of course, not all people can understand the charm of goal transfer, most people are still immersed in the sadness of losing a person and can not extricate themselves, at this time, we can use our magic weapon "shortcomings amplification method".
Disadvantages amplification method is actually very easy to understand, for example, we like to eat cake, because it is sweet, a bite down can bring us a sense of satisfaction, but in the fat reduction period or sugar control time, the cake can not be touched, but want to eat, what to do at this time?
We think about the disadvantages of cake, such as it has trans fatty acids and is not easy to digest; for example, it is a sugar oil mixture, high calories, it is not good for the skin to eat, and so on.
02), when people feel that the shortcomings of the cake are greater than the advantages, naturally they will not want to eat it, then the transformation into love is also the same.
Why we like a person, is because there is a shining point in each other, and when the fate is exhausted, when we look at each other with the love filter, it will be more difficult to forget, then we can remove the filter and magnify each other's shortcomings, such as eating lazily, not seeking progress, and so on.
Slowly, when we have a deeper memory of each other's shortcomings, we will naturally feel that there is no point in missing it again, so it is not so difficult to forget or let go.
The self-discipline of adults should be able to take it and put it down
01), love, who knows what it will look like in the future, and when two people are together, they will not think that one day they will be separated from each other.
And when the day of parting really comes, each of us is bound to be sad, and after the sadness, we can't always look back, or even go back, because on this road of life, retrograde is fully responsible.
So, what do we do?
We should let go, we should say goodbye to the past, we should adjust our mindset and then focus on the future.
02) Herta Miller once said: "May love, like mowed grass, grow again, and should grow in a different way, like a child changing teeth, like hair, like nails." ”
A bus never deviates from its own track because who gets off the bus, so how can our lives stagnate because of a person's departure?
So, go forward, stride forward, stride forward, hope will be on the road, new love will be on the road.