"Every Child Needs to Be Seen"

25 Comprehensive abilities, traits that immature children lack

What !️ is self-motivation? Self-motivation is a kind of integrated thinking that helps the brain to coordinate and unify, allowing the brain to deal with conflicting impulses and ideas (problem-solving skills – introspection, reflection).

Children with comprehensive thinking, if they have the idea of not wanting to go to school, will immediately trigger his anxiety about missing class, and not wanting to get up in the morning will make him feel uneasy about being late (at this time, the appearance may be bad mood, irritability, or pretending to be deaf and dumb to the parent's voice).

Correspondingly, the self-motivation to perform well will suppress his unwillingness to listen to the lecture, and the fear of consequences will dispel the idea that he does not want to listen to others.

To achieve integrated learning, the child must be mature enough that his brain can run two systems of thought at the same time, both to deal with complex emotions and to balance ambivalence.

If you want to change your child's school-weary thoughts, you also need to cultivate a healthy parent-child relationship, so that children can feel deep emotions and vulnerabilities. Seeing the importance of relationships is one of the insights that parents must have.

!️ For example, when a child is intimate enough with an adult (parent or teacher), he cares about what they think, cares about their expectations, and is careful not to provoke anger (parent or teacher). Children's learning also needs emotional investment, and if this investment is scarce, the child will not feel hurt, do not care about everything, and will inevitably become numb to learning, and even lose interest (this type of child turns off the ability to perceive, the network word "zombie").

Comprehensive !️ wisdom, not rote memorization! !️ (I never ask children to memorize, but understand, will use OK).

If children want to solve problems, they need to integrate the information they have from multiple perspectives, discover different ideas from facts, understand deeper meanings, and reveal potential rules.

The process of learning is a process of integration, children should extract the connotation from the material, integrate the fragmented information into a whole, in this case, only figurative thinking is not enough, but also need to have abstract thinking. Deep learning will require us to look at problems from at least two perspectives, open our eyes, rather than using only one eye, narrowly, one-sidedly, and superficially to see everything. (This is also a requirement for us adults!) ）

However, the reality is that children's intelligence is not yet fully mature, so they cannot automatically acquire comprehensive abilities, but need to be slowly acquired in the process of maturity (making mistakes). Peer-oriented children are all children who do not grow up, so comprehensive coordination ability (why exercise, exercise can help the body to better use coordination) has become a doomed lack of traits for them.

If you find my sharing helpful to you, to your relatives, friends, and friends, please invite me to the group or share it. Thank you for your support!