"Every Child Needs to Be Seen"

57 "Every Child Needs to Be Seen"

Chapter 18 pulls back the lost child in the digital age

As a parent, you should see:

The !️ trick to dealing with potential hazards is not to prohibit them, but to seize the timing.

The !️ greatest responsibility of parents is to act as a buffer between their children and society.

The closer the child's !️ relationship with his parents, the more he can "cling" to his parents in a state of separation.

Is there any intrinsic harm to digital devices? Should my child be kept out of contact? Of course not, and even if you want to stop it, you can't stop it at all. There is no harm in the essence of digital devices, the key is how to use them, especially in the hands of children. When to let the child contact, when not to let the child contact, this is the parent should consider the problem.

Controlling digital devices is the same as controlling child exposure, alcohol, and sweets. Sex is a good thing, but not for children. Sex is not something to play with, especially for children. We need to control their sexual behavior until they reach the point of personal development to the point where they can accept the responsibilities and consequences of sex.

Alcohol is in some ways a social lubricant and an integral part of ceremonies and banquets, but not for children. Drinking paralyzes people's vigilance and makes it impossible for us to avoid danger. Although alcohol is available everywhere, parents should try to control their children's exposure to alcohol until they can control their own drinking.

The child's world is full of candy, cookies and dessert temptations. In most cases, although we will not forbid children to eat, we will control the time of eating. Dessert should be eaten after meals, this rule should be at least insisted until the child grows up and matures, has his own concept of health, and can control bad impulses. In other words, only if the child has ingested enough nutrients can we let him eat cookies. After the nutritional intake is enough, the child does not want to eat cookies and is not easily harmed by junk food.

Therefore, "timing" is always a key issue for the healthy development of children. The trick to dealing with potential hazards is not to prohibit them, but to seize the timing. Blind prohibition is futile, and complete prohibition will only stimulate children to have a strong rebellious psychology.

{Timing, go with the flow, for children over the age of six, parents must keep their mouths shut, do not nag, but when the child makes a relatively big mistake, the mistake of the homeopathy should be said, the punishment of the punishment. If you don't give room to make mistakes, a little mistake will nag, and many children will start to turn off their hearing}

For sex, the right time must be when the relationship is fully developed, when the relationship has been formed emotionally and psychologically intimate and single-minded, when both parties have made and will continue to keep their commitments.

Premature sexual contact, like eating cookies before meals, can affect a child's true desire: deep, loyal love.

For alcohol, the right time is when it is not necessary to face fear through the paralyzing effects of alcohol, when it is time to be able to blackmail oneself against alcoholism. The effect of alcohol is relaxed, which makes many people accustomed to abusing alcohol, but except for those who have accepted the reality of the holes, alcohol will not have the right to relax, only produce a greater temptation. Drinking too early can affect your child's desire ❌ to accept reality

When !️ dealing with similar issues, we must follow two key principles:

All the needs of the child have been met;

Children can make mature decisions on their own.

Returning to the topic of the Internet, we need to control the timing of children's access to digital devices while they can still discipline themselves. We need to act as much as possible as a buffer in the digital world, giving children more space and time to meet their real communication needs and allowing children to make mature decisions on their own. We need to slow things down and find ways to delay their progress... !️

Rousseau once said that the greatest responsibility of parents is to act as a buffer between children and society. However, many parents have lost their buffering role and have instead turned themselves into a medium for their children. ❌ We worry that our children don't have enough time online and that they will be left behind by their peers. When we bring more temptations to our children, we are not prepared to control them. This is equivalent to us not setting any rules, just on the counter full of cookies, on the table full of wine, do not limit the child's sexual behavior, the result can be imagined.

In the face of temptation, even adults are rarely able to achieve self-discipline, how to ask children to do it themselves? As the guide of the child, parents should take on this responsibility. We should try our best to meet the real needs of our children and help them grasp the opportunity to contact the digital device.

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