Author/Pond Fish
The two words of family affection sometimes have to pay attention to the mentality of following fate.
Although I have always believed that family affection is a very important relationship in life, if everyone gets along well, there is no need to deliberately alienate themselves in order to create a quiet environment for themselves. Because later, when you want to pick it up, it may become more difficult.
The relationship between people often requires various daily maintenance to continue, even if it is blood kinship, it is actually no exception.
However, in the end, you will understand that no matter what kind of relationship in life, in the end, you must pay attention to the four words of going with the flow. That is to say, do not deliberately alienate at the same time, there is no need to deliberately maintain. What is deliberate maintenance? Basically speaking, you yourself have already felt discomfort in your heart in this process, so there is no need to be too aggrieved yourself.
Some time ago, I saw a netizen's speech on the Internet.
He believes that life is like a relationship between parents and sisters or brothers and sisters, you have to pretend to be stupid, you have to be confused, and at the same time you should be tolerant and understanding, everyone should put your mentality a little better, relax a little, don't care so much, how can there be a bad relationship?
Then, another netizen retorted to him, saying that he was standing and talking without waist pain, many things he had not experienced, or do not jump to conclusions, because not all family affection is worth protecting himself. Some relationships, diluted, strange, for each other, but are a relaxed atmosphere.
To be honest, I think what the latter said makes sense.
I have gradually discovered in my life that people living in different environments may have completely different views and opinions on the same thing. In fact, to put it bluntly, no one is wrong, but their respective experiences can certainly not be applied to each other's lives.
Therefore, on the road of life, many times you don't have to listen to what others say, but you have to do it yourself, and you will really understand.
To be honest, I didn't quite understand before, how can someone not be filial to their parents and have such a stiff relationship with their brothers and sisters? The reason why I later found that I did not understand was because the atmosphere in my entire family was relatively filial piety, whether it was the generation of my parents or our generation, the relationship between children and their parents was relatively good, and the brothers and sisters were also very united.
Especially between my mother and her brothers and sisters, although there are more people, my grandparents have a total of 6 children, but they are really more united, belong to the type of mutual help, this is good, will help people who are not in a good situation, I hope everyone is good, a big family is good, so that it is really good.
And they are also very filial to their parents, so my grandparents lived a very happy life in their later years, and the neighbors around them were very envious.
For example, the concept that my mother instilled in me from an early age was that I and my sister should love each other, not compare, and not have any bad thoughts, because the two of us are the closest people in the world after they are gone.
Later, I found out that the situation in my own home could not be applied to everyone. The things of the world are like this, there are hundreds of people, there are a thousand things, and it is the real growth of life to accept the various differences in this world.
I know an aunt who has a younger brother and sister who don't have a good relationship with each other and is the type that is a bit of a secret rivalry.
At first, she wanted to unite her two younger brothers and sister because she thought she was obligated to do so as an older sister. But in the end, she gave up this practice, no longer had any heart and lungs for her younger siblings, but looked at family affection with special reason, and at the same time paid attention to her own interests in family affection.
Because she found that no matter what she did, even she sometimes gave way to her own interests in the affection, but this practice only made her younger siblings think that she was the soft persimmon that was easy to pinch.
Her younger brothers and sisters all owe her money, and after her sister borrowed it for 4 years, she finally repaid it, and after paying it back, she was still dissatisfied, saying that she had been urging, but she did not believe her sister.
No, the money is borrowed, and the man is offended.
At that time, they did not look for each other to borrow money, they all looked for her big sister to borrow, no matter how good her mouth sounded, in the final analysis, they still thought she was better at talking.
Although her brother and sister's family situation is better than her family's, there are more assets that can be seen intuitively than she does.
Some time ago, family gatherings, mainly initiated by parents at home, had no way, they all went. At the dinner table, her 45-year-old brother began to brag that he was now earning millions a year, and she couldn't help but say: "30,000 yuan is owed for 5 years, it's time to pay me back." Her brother skipped the subject and said something else.
According to her understanding, although her brother does not have an annual income of this amount now, according to the conditions of his family, the level of various expenses, and the matter of repaying money have long been not a problem. But the younger brother is dragging on not to pay back, a question said that he has money and must pay back, saying that her sister is not qualified, not 30,000 yuan of things, is not affordable, as for has been urging?
She also didn't want to do too much, only thinking that when the money was repaid, she would never lend them money again, nor did she want to have too much contact with them.
At that time, when her younger brothers and sisters asked her to borrow money, they all said that they could not open the turnover, and they would pay it back quickly, and then year after year, she gradually became cold. Of course, the cold heart must be more than this one thing, many details in life have made her sincere heart, and gradually began to be defensive.
It turns out that people, no matter what kind of relationship, can not shave their heads and pick a hot head, unilaterally pay there, but need a mutual process.
In this way, people's hearts will not be cold, only willing to pay in this relationship, no one is stupid, it is impossible to obviously suffer losses all the time, and it is not long to remember.
This kind of family affection, in fact, there is really no need to deliberately maintain it.
Moriyama Avenue said: We will have to meet the last day of the limit all our lives, and we cannot turn back. Therefore, there is no need to mind age at all, as long as you work hard and live willfully, the taste of life lies in this.
Moreover, human nature will not change at this age. Then under this premise, no matter how much someone does, it is actually useless, there is no need to save anything, and there is no need to save it, but it should follow the mentality of going with the flow.
Just live your own life, as for the rest, whether it is a relationship or someone, or something, you don't have to be too demanding.
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