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My friend asked me: Do you still believe in love?
I said: Believe it, just don't believe it will last forever.
This answer sounds a bit negative, but in fact, I think love is very magical, it needs a little fate, it needs some wisdom, and most importantly, it is worth our perseverance.
I love the saying that as long as they have illuminated each other, they are precious enough.
Seeing a sentence on a certain platform, it is to persuade girls who have lost love. She said: In the past, your software pushes were not all food, makeup and beautiful clothes; now they are all lost love, breakups and divination? Pick up the spirit, in fact, you don't love him so much.
Girls are always prone to infinitely magnifying the pain of lost love when they encounter lost love, feeling that without love, the world has lost its color, but many years later, when you look back at all this, you will find that this is just a trivial matter, and you actually don't love him so much.
When did I find out about this?
Probably I also experienced a loss of love, losing the person who had walked together for many years and was ready to accompany me for the rest of my life, but suddenly left.
At that time, although I resisted the urge to redeem myself, I was writing a diary every day, writing about my own wild thoughts, writing about what I hadn't said to him.
One of the things that pained me the most was when I thought that after we separated, he had given me or did not give me good, and would give to another person, my heart was full of heartache and resentment, and I could not even say a word of blessing.
Yes, I read my diary for a few days, and I found that I was full of resentment towards him, about this separation, full of blame and complaint, full of unwillingness and anger. There was no way I could wish him heartfelt.
I think it is a kind of fate, I saw the writer I have liked for more than ten years - Qingshan, wrote a new book "A Thousand Questions of the Heart", which contains a thousand questions from readers she answered in 3 years, including love, marriage, growth, parenting and other aspects.
And when I opened the first page of the book, the answer to the first question shook me. The reader asked Qingshan: What do you think of "love but not can not"?
Gyeongsan Answer:
What you want is not necessarily love, but perhaps only the desire to possess in your heart. If you let go of the desire to "get", see how much tenderness and cherishing are left in your heart.
A word to wake up the dreamer, our so-called love and being loved, are based on their own "get", because they can't get it, so they are painful, so they can't let go, so they are entangled, but they mistakenly think that this is love and affection.
Therefore, the person who has really loved is the person who tries to persuade himself to let go and truly bless the other party. Because of love, even if the person who accompanies him in the future is not himself, he is still willing to give him a better future.
So ah, don't redeem it, don't be sad, in fact, you may not love him so much, you are just not independent enough, just unwilling, just loss disgust, you just can't quickly accept the change.
I finished reading Qingshan's "A Thousand Questions of the Heart" in one sitting, and this book became my bedtime reading, accompanying me through the loss of love and many difficult moments in my later life. It made me understand how to look at love, how to treat life, and let me know more about myself.
I slowly understood that the love and persistence that we often think of ourselves are actually nothing more than self-deceiving jealousy, possessiveness, and unwillingness.
As the reader asked Qingshan in "A Thousand Questions of the Heart": Falling in love with a person who can't be together, giving up and being very reluctant, should I insist?
Gyeongsan Answer: Our so-called persistence is nothing more than painting the ground as a prison. Why insist, how good is freedom?
So I think that after each breakup, the thought of not forgetting and constantly redeeming is just a kind of self-touching, and finally as Qingshan said, but the loss of pictures is imprisoned, and finally do not forgive others, do not let go of themselves.
Gyeongsan said that true love should be a kind of existence, the fragrance emitted by the soul, attracting people who pass by it. Therefore, don't take the redemption as affectionate, love should always enjoy the present, rather than entanglement and self-torture after the loss, and it is precious enough to illuminate each other.
True love should always be the fragrant soul first, and then spread the tenderness and kindness to others, without asking for results, not seeking the same path, just the feelings of existence.