Don't stop your pace! You have worked so hard to get here, don't let your guard down and look back, go ahead. - Nietzsche's "Dawn"
How hard it is for people with bipolar disorder to have emotional problems
The word "life" is always so heavy. So many people are reluctant to talk about it casually, and they don't like to listen to the big truth. Because every adult knows the difficulties of life, as the saying goes, "After understanding so many great truths, it is still not good to live this life." ”
In the face of life, some people withdraw, some people actively move forward, and some people turn around halfway and then turn back again - because you find that life cannot be escaped.
Knowing regret is useless.
The father in the movie "A Thought of Ignorance" is the one who initially escaped, he escaped the burden of being a husband and father. The family's suffering and doom ultimately weighed on his eldest son, Antoine.
Over the years, due to the absence of his father and his younger brother who left the United States to abandon his family, Antoine took on the responsibility of caring for his mother who suffered from pain and bipolar disorder.
Exhausted by the accumulated negative emotions, he was eventually plagued by bipolar disorder, and he accidentally killed his mother and was forcibly treated in a mental hospital.
At the beginning of the film, the camera confronts Antoine who comes out of a mental hospital and intends to re-enter the society. After the medical staff's discharge instructions about his condition, he and his father appeared to be worried.
On the surface, it seems to be calm, and when everyone thinks that he can finally regain his freedom and rebirth, the whirlpool of memories is quietly sweeping in, and it is too difficult for him to start a new life.
Once Adong, he was also a social youth with a great future. He has dreams and fighting spirits, and he also has his girlfriend who has been in love for a long time, and they provide for the building together, and soon it is time to talk about marriage.
And the contradiction is also quickly in front of him, the girlfriend is dissatisfied with Ah Dong because he bears the burden of taking care of his mother and is still unwilling to send his mother to the nursing home.
Such a real situation is bound to drag down their small family after marriage. The two people quarreled several times because of this matter, and the contradiction finally broke out, and Antoine could not control his emotions and slapped his girlfriend and took the popularity away.
After being discharged from the hospital, Ah Dong wants to regain the feelings he lost before, and he regrets his attitude towards his girlfriend.
He went to the wedding of his former colleague in order to inquire about the current situation and whereabouts of his ex-girlfriend in the circle of friends.
However, his presence attracted the attention of the wedding banquet guests, and the unkind talk and insults were mixed in, and the scene that should have been joyful became embarrassing because of him.
But the stronger Adong is very frank and obsessive, wanting to get back the relationship he lost, he snatched the microphone of the newcomer, asked everyone present about the whereabouts of his ex-girlfriend, and in the eyes of others, such a firm and brave behavior undoubtedly seemed crazy, as if it was evidence that he had mental illness.
Unfortunately, Antoine did not think that even if he found a girlfriend, they would not be able to go back to the past. Maybe he is anxious to be a "normal person" and ignores the reality of the problem.
After his girlfriend was sentenced to be forcibly admitted to the hospital, a person took on the mortgage and debt problems, and also indulged in the ashes of extreme despair, and even now he could not extricate himself, because of the pain, he entered the church and became a believer, praying on time to comfort himself.
When they reunite, she tells him that she has forgiven him, but what happens next makes Antoine collapse again.
In the church, she cut her wounds over and over again in the name of God for the world to see, constantly praying and complaining, and the pain in her heart was like a bottomless abyss.
She didn't overcome the devil in her heart so easily. She put all the pain they had experienced together in front of strangers, and Antoine, who was already scarred, was stripped of his scars in public, stimulated and hurt again.
The gods did not let her grasp the pain and repeated it. Unable to let go of her resentment and pain, she had nowhere to vent, and by repeating despair and unwillingness to the gods without scruples, she thought she could get God's forgiveness and forgiveness.
However, doing so does not change anything at all. She did not understand that the only person who could redeem herself was herself. What she needed was not a god, and true redemption had not come, for she herself could not let go of those pasts.
Believers are just audiences who can't empathize. Politely and mechanically saying "Amen" and clapping.
People who indulge in grief no doubt especially want to be healed, they are helpless. But these appeals to be made up and loved must start with waving away the past.
In the face of life, everyone is scarred and can't take care of themselves.
Compared to his girlfriend, Antoine has his strength, but he is also more vulnerable. The weight and hurt of isolation is not a disaster that a strong person can escape.
Prejudices around him were everywhere, and those emotions and memories surged forward as if they were going to reconnect him into the cursed past.
Everyone is accustomed to prejudice, venting dissatisfaction with him and even running away from them, but they have forgotten that he is just a patient who has just been discharged from the hospital, and the patient also has normal human emotions, and the loss and sadness are even worse.
He and his girlfriend and his once sick mother were so desperate to become normal and return to life close to their lover, but they were so embarrassed, vicious and vulnerable.
I don't want to take medicine, I don't want to be a patient anymore. If you have no confusion, you will fall into reincarnation forever, and you will suffer endlessly.
Although life is difficult, we can still see light and blossom in the cracks. Don't easily ignore those faint lights.
The father, who only ran away for most of his life, finally remembered that he was a father and did not abandon him again. The little boy next door also broke the prejudice with his innocence and healed the big boy who was full of holes.
Together they planted flowers on the balcony, and the little boy told him that even if the environment was not suitable for the flowers to grow, let them make the environment suitable for raising the flowers.
The child's world, so simple and pure, full of hope.
When we have walked a difficult road, we should not easily look back at the ruins and mud, do not fall into the abyss behind us, and go forward, believing that everything will be fine.
Let go of those heavy pasts, and life can really set sail. May everyone who lives the rest of his life truly be born into the sun and no longer bow his head. Those prejudices will one day disappear with them.