Tonight (January 15) "Do Not Disturb", a male guest bluntly said that he longed for "highly pure" love, which triggered a big discussion on the topic of "sense of boundaries" in love. Listening to the emotional experience of the male guests, the female guest Chen Yihan actually said: "I can accept that boys have a history of marriage, but what I can accept is flash marriage and divorce. In this regard, the three teachers suggested: people's lives and feelings are very complicated, look at a marriage, measure a relationship, can not overemphasize a single indicator.
The red spirit was inherited with music, and the male guests were praised for their love
Male guest Amber has been in contact with erhu since he was 9 years old, and became a university music teacher after graduating with a master's degree. Music is not only a love for him, but also a mission to inherit, "I feel obligated to pass on our national music, and once led my colleagues and students to do a concert about reliving the history of red and imagining the colorful music." In the process of teaching, I will teach more red songs to students, hoping that everyone can better understand our history and let the patriotic spirit pass on. ”
In addition to music, Amber also particularly likes football and cross country, "Football can be said to be another friend of mine besides erhu, who will have a ball game every week. I also have a hobby of off-roading, and I also participate in the off-road bike club, and the team will help when it comes to asking for help. We often do public welfare, and on January 23, 2017, the team also organized a warm activity to go to poor mountainous areas. When the epidemic in Wuhan and the flood in Henan were over, we all reached out to help. Female guest Zhu Rui also learned erhu from an early age, and gave a wonderful erhu duet with the male guest. The female guests praised: "The male guests not only have a good erhu, but also have a special love, and are really a talented and full of positive energy of high-quality boys." ”
High purity of love is different from "emotional purity" And facing up to the sense of boundaries of emotional relationships
Amber said bluntly that he was a bit "emotionally clean", yearning for a highly pure love, "My first love is a girl in the art college, often have to participate in performances, can not avoid a little intimate contact with the opposite sex, I am always jealous, resulting in two people gradually drifting apart." The three teachers said that the high-purity love pursued by male guests should mean that they are attentive and loyal enough to the other half, but this is different from the "emotional purity", and it is not even difficult to accept the normal contact between the other half and the opposite sex.
The sense of boundaries is indeed a very important existence in interpersonal communication, including emotional relationships, how to grasp this sense of boundaries? Meng Fei believes that lovers should of course be intimate, but intimacy should also be moderate, and even intimate people should appropriately maintain distance. On the one hand, when getting along with other members of the opposite sex, we must grasp the measure and give each other a certain sense of security; on the other hand, the premise of loving someone is to make the other party feel comfortable and free, and to give each other a certain degree of independence. Meng Fei also stressed: "Two people in life have a lot of things to run into, there are many things to discuss, you can accommodate me, I can accommodate you, where can be accommodated, where can not be accommodated, everyone must think clearly." ”
Can you accept divorce but only accept flash marriage? Feelings cannot be measured with undue emphasis on a single indicator
Amber later a relationship, the two people into marriage, "at the beginning I felt that I met a fellow traveler, she especially cared about my feelings, encountered any problem will be the first time to ask my opinion, let me feel recognized and needed." 」 Probably because both men were too strong, we separated after a heated argument. Hopefully, the future other half won't mind my past, and I don't like to dwell on the past. Female guest Chen Yihan asked: How long did the male guest's marriage last? When hearing the answer of "two years", Chen Yihan shook his head continuously, "I can accept that the other half has a history of marriage, but it is best to flash marriage and leave, it is too long for me to accept it." ”
Chen Ming couldn't help but say: "My personal advice is not to use the length of time to see, but to see the state of the other party in this marriage." Some people are already like family even if they are divorced and married; some people may not have reached that state of emotional concentration even if they have been together for two years. People's lives and feelings are very complex, and you can't pay too much attention to a single indicator, otherwise you may miss a lot of good opportunities. Huang Lan believes that two years is exactly a time point for two people to really learn to get along after experiencing passion, and sometimes age and experience in life will bring us more wisdom, more tolerance, better trust and respect. In the end, will the male guests hold hands and succeed? Tonight (January 15) at 20:30, please pay attention to Jiangsu Satellite TV's "Do Not Disturb".