Before I could fully wake up from the anesthesia, I tried to grimace my parents on the side.
Tell them I'm back safely!
At the age of 19, I had never even experienced injections and infusions, and I had a general anesthesia operation to remove the thyroid nodules that grew larger and larger around my neck.
After experiencing a series of fears such as "what if it is malignant", "what to do if there are scars", "will there be sequelae", etc., I finally grew into an adult who can comfort my parents with a grimace and a smile after this operation.
Here's my story.
The "abnormality" in my neck was that one day when I was wearing makeup, I saw a small lump in the lower right side of my throat.
I made a video and sent it to my mom's doctor friend. The doctor said that if it is not painful or itchy, I can ignore it for a while, and I am relieved.
But after half a year, the lump seems to grow bigger and bigger.
It can't be found with the naked eye, but as long as you touch it, the feel is very obvious.
In July 2020, I had a thyroid ultrasound during the physical examination, and sure enough, the doctor said to me: Little girl, you have a thyroid nodule.
At that time, the doctor advised me to operate immediately and remove the nodule
The doctor told me that based on the test sheet and symptoms, there was a ninety percent chance that a nodule would be benign.
But because I'm young, if I keep dragging it out, it may make the nodule grow bigger and bigger.
Waiting for the nodule to grow and then having surgery may not only compress the vocal cords to affect speech, but also pose a greater risk.
If I'm really worried, I can do a puncture first to see if it is benign or malignant, and if it is benign, I can observe it for half a year before deciding whether to operate.
However, since I was planning to study abroad after the summer vacation (I had not yet imagined that I would be taking online classes at home that year due to the epidemic), there was not enough time to continue observing.
Moreover, if the nodule changes abroad, it will be more troublesome to operate on when the time comes.
So, the doctor suggested I have surgery right away.
Since I was in my period at the time, I had to wait until the period was over before scheduling surgery.
yes?
I have never even had injections and infusions since I was a child, and I have always been in good health, and I will have general anesthesia surgery in a few days?
"What's my situation?"
"It can't be a serious illness, right?"
"Will the surgery be risky and will it leave sequelae?"
And, if I decide to have surgery, it will only be a few days until the end of my period.
It was a little humiliating to say it, and when I heard the doctor say "recommended surgery", I couldn't help but cry.
In order not to let my mother and doctor see, I also took advantage of their speech and quietly hid in the corridor to calm my mood.
Out of the clinic, my mother and I told my father about the situation.
After my father learned of my condition, he was unusually calm, and together with my mother, he comforted me and said that the operation was very simple, and told me about the experience of some relatives who had undergone surgery.
It turned out that my grandmother and aunt had both grown this nodule and had both recovered from surgery a few years earlier. (So I had long nodules, and there may have been genetic factors, but I didn't realize it at the time))
And during the time of long nodules, I had just gone abroad for my freshman year, and every day was very lonely and stressful.
At that time, I was suddenly thousands of miles away from my parents, went to a new language environment, had few friends, and had to rely entirely on myself in life, and the loneliness made me feel even more stressed.
I still remember that when I first went abroad, I had a heavy cold that lasted for two weeks, and then I often had toothaches until I couldn't sleep all night, which especially affected my study and life.
I think that the severe lack of rest at that time, coupled with psychological loneliness and stress, was also the indirect cause of this nodule.
But when I first learned that I was going to have surgery, I couldn't calmly think about what the cause of this nodule was, and I only had one thought: How could I be so unlucky?
I even suspected that the hospital had misdiagnosed, so I went to the second hospital for a check-up, but got the same test results and treatment recommendations.
I also frantically looked up some options on the Internet that could be cured in addition to surgery, but on closer inspection, surgery was indeed the best for me, and it was also the simplest and most effective.
With helplessness, I had to force myself to gradually accept the fact that I wanted surgery.
Fortunately, when my mentality collapsed and I searched the Internet randomly, I met a 21-year-old patient sister.
She told me about the whole process of finding the nodule- diagnosing - surgery - recovery, and said that she is now recovering from the wound very well, and it is almost impossible to see it in only half a year.
Because of her encouragement, I also became confident a lot.
I also understand more and more that "fear" is not a bad thing, everyone has moments of vulnerability, to accept their fears, and to face fears, can not choose to escape.
In those days, I went to my favorite restaurants every day, bought my favorite milk tea, and tried to make my mood better and better.
The day before the operation, I also applied to the hospital and went home and slept comfortably in my bed (the hospital is very close to my house).
After all, a bad rest will not only affect your own state, but also affect the operation and recovery, so you must have a good rest before surgery!
On the day of the operation, at 6:30 in the morning, my parents stayed with me in the hospital bed.
While waiting, the nurse tied my hair and put on a surgical cap and shaved off a little broken hair around my neck (the word skin-prepared sounds funny).
After a while the surgeon came over and drew a line at the location of the thyroid gland.
I heard that I was particularly worried about scars, and he specifically told me:
Rest assured, I've kept the scar as low as possible!
In this way, we waited nervously until about twelve o'clock.
A nurse came up to me and told me to prepare, gave me an endocrine-relieving injection, and asked me to follow her to the operation.
Before I left with the nurse, I hugged my parents.
At that moment, my tears swirled uncontrollably in my eyes, and the fear that had been suppressed by me finally rushed into my heart.
But the nurse was urging me to "come over," and I knew it was time to face the challenge alone.
As I walked, I wiped the tears from my face, entered the automatic sliding door of the operating hall, put on my shoe covers and waited outside the third operating room.
The wait was long, and I observed the green surgical gowns of the doctors, and interestingly, I also found a limited taro purple surgical gown.
I also heard two nurses ordering milk tea takeaway in the corner, and as soon as I heard them read the name of milk tea, I knew which shop it was, and then I thought:
I'll drink it when I'm back!
Thinking about milk tea, I was not so nervous.
After a while, the chief surgeon came to see me, and he could see at a glance that I had cried. He tapped me on the shoulder and said don't get nervous.
So I responded by giving him a smile and immediately obediently cleared all the terrible fantasies in my mind.
The operating room is cool.
In an effort to maintain peace of mind, I asked myself not to look at the complicated surgical instruments, but to take off my shirt and lie down on the operating table.
I saw the anesthesiologist preparing the mask, and I thought it was inhalation anesthesia, and I wanted to feel the feeling of inhaling "sweet smelling gas" described by the patient.
For the last second, however, I was still intently watching the anesthesiologist's machine tinkering with the mask and wondering how many seconds it would be to fall asleep. The next second, my parents' faces broke into my blurred vision...
Yes, I also experienced a "fragment", four hours after the operation, the memory of life was "permanently erased", leaving only a small wound on the neck.
Along the way from the operating room to the bed, my consciousness was "gradually" transformed by the senses.
Along the way, my vision completely disappeared, but my hearing and facial perception are still fresh in my mind: I can hear the doctor talking, and I can hear my mother saying to the medical staff during the video that they should not record their faces.
At the same time, I distinctly remember my brain instinctively issuing a command when it understood that the operation was over: make a grimace.
Because my parents and I usually make funny faces, I think this should be a way for me to subconsciously tell my parents that everything is going well.
As my vision slowly recovered, I felt that I had a lot of instruments on my body, a tube for oxygen, an ice bag around my neck, a blood vial for draining tubes, and a pillow for infusions.
They're all reminding me: You're a guy who just had general anesthesia!