More and more parents are starting a great job: changing society's prejudices against menstruation and caring for girls' growth.
Recently, a parent did a very brave thing - reflecting on the People's Daily leader's message board that her sixth-grade daughter had "menstrual" difficulties at a school in Ningxia.
Put "menstruation" on the table to discuss
According to the parent, the girl was the first child in the class to come to menstruation, and every time she changed sanitary napkins in the open toilet, she was always spread in the class as a joke by the ignorant children. "Leaving aside the relevant knowledge and personal qualities, an important reason is that there is no door in the student toilet, and any action is at a glance." I think most adults can't calmly change sanitary napkins without embarrassment in this kind of crowded toilet at the end of class. Therefore, when students come to menstruation, the best choice is to go to the teacher's women's toilet to solve this embarrassing problem, because only the toilet used by teachers and school leaders in the whole school has a door to cover the line of sight, but another problem that follows is that most of the teachers who are also women and even have children are like those children who are still on holiday in the future, not only can not understand the embarrassment of being watched when dealing with physiological problems, but even greatly ignite the borrowing of teachers' toilets. The parent's appeal is very simple and clear: "Just ask whether the leader can install the door board in the women's toilet of the fifth and sixth grades of Kaiyuan Primary School, so that the line of sight can be covered during the menstrual holiday and less embarrassing." ”
At first glance, it seems to be just a door to the toilet, but thinking about it is not so simple, this parent treats menstruation as a normal, natural, and important thing that can be discussed on the table, which is to set an example for the next generation by example: not only can we talk about it, menstruation is not shameful, but we also have to take more care of girls who come to menstruation.
What will be the first thing in adolescence that will touch the nerves of a girl's parents? The answer for many mothers would be – menstruation. Menstruation is not a small thing, it means that girls have gone to the woman's road from both physical and psychological, and as women, everyone knows, this road is not easy to walk.
Break the culture of menstrual taboos and help girls develop gender identity
It's not just a few days a month of blood, stomachache, and all sorts of inconveniences, but also the psychological feeling that comes with this: Is it dirty and scary? Is it shameful and disgusting? Will it make me different from my previous self? Are women a gender with a lot of troubles and disadvantages?
"When I was about the same age as my daughter, I would feel that menstruation was not a good thing, and as soon as it came, the girl changed from pure white to ambiguous gray. At that time, in the first year of junior high school, the school opened a mysterious adolescent class for girls. All the first-year girls gathered in a large classroom, and the female teacher with a serious expression told everyone how to deal with menstrual holidays and how to face the future interaction between boys and girls. It should have been a good thing, but the teacher's language was monotonous, as if he was completing a task that had to be completed, and even I felt that myself, who belonged to the same gender, was also someone that the teacher did not like. Throughout the class, the only emotional thing the teacher said was: Being a woman is trouble. Stories like this take place in the life course of many women, when in fact menstrual neglect, menstrual embarrassment, and menstrual shame exist in people's culture and lives over the years.
Li Shizhen said in the "Compendium of Materia Medica": "Women enter the moon, the evil liquid is dirty, so the gentleman is far away, for its unclean, can damage the yang and get sick also", people believe that menstrual intercourse ("bumping red") will make men infected with evil diseases or even death, even if only to see menstrual blood or related supplies, it is also a very obscure thing.
Because the menstrual blood is regarded as ominous, the folk also have the saying of "riding a horse to worship the church, the family is broken", and it is taboo to menstruate on the day of the bride's marriage, believing that it will bring bad luck to the in-laws. Menstruating women are not allowed to appear at weddings, delivery wards, ancestor worship, funerals, and many other occasions.
For a long time, there were no women in Japan as sushi chefs, because the industry believed that menstruation would cause an imbalance in taste. Ono, the son of "sushi god" Ono Jiro, also made it clear in the interview that women are destined not to become sushi masters because of menstruation.
Nowadays, with the development of feminism, more and more people are beginning to join the action of "removing shame". A few years ago, Fu Yuanhui once said that because of menstruation, she was in a bad state and was praised by foreign media for "breaking traditional taboos".
Lin Yilun once mentioned "painful menstruation" during the live broadcast, and was left by netizens who wanted to laugh, and he responded generously: "Men can't say this word is it?" Are you embarrassed? I am not embarrassed at all, oh, dysmenorrhea is a natural physiological phenomenon of human beings. "For a time, it was praised by many netizens for high emotional intelligence.
The Indian film "Pad Man" directly expresses the point of view with a sonorous line: "For a woman, menstruation is not a disease, but a shame for it." Unfortunately, when the film was introduced, it had to be renamed "Indian Partner", and the sanitary napkin held by the male protagonist on the poster was replaced with A4 paper.
Pad man became Indian Partner, and sanitary napkins became paper.
It's like the current predicament, where menstruation is still seen as awkward and unable to get on the table on a large scale, and even avoided with disregard, such as the Ningxia school mentioned at the beginning of the article. But more and more people dare to express new voices: to change society's prejudices against menstruation and to care for the growth of girls. Especially parents in the new era, they do not want their daughters to go back to the old way, they hope that they can bravely live themselves.
In fact, more and more parents have begun this great job, and they have expressed their deep love to the girls in their own characteristics and ways. We've gathered some to share with our readers:
The month my daughter came on holiday, I organized a coming-of-age ceremony
I want my daughter to like her gender and not feel inferior because she is a woman. I grew up in a patriarchal family and always wanted to be pampered by my parents, just as they loved my brother. Learning better than my brother, earning more than my brother, being more filial to my parents than my brother, just because I am a girl and want to marry out later, I can't become a child as important as my brother. I was angry for many years and later accepted the status quo, not because my parents didn't love me, but because of the cultural influence of their time. I hope that my daughter will not follow my old path, do not need to compete with men for which gender is good, but just accept their gender, accept themselves, and love themselves. So, when my daughter came to menstruation, I was particularly happy to say to her: Wow, you have grown up! Congratulations. That month, I also held a coming-of-age ceremony in the restaurant, just like celebrating a birthday, inviting friends from all walks of life to attend, and telling my children in a grand way: menstruation is a beautiful calling. Cui Cui, 44-year-old mother, psychological counselor
I told my daughter that when you grow up, I'll buy you colorful sanitary napkins
My daughter was very clingy to me when she was 3 years old, and she had to follow me when she went to the toilet. One time I was changing sanitary napkins and she saw it and asked me what it was. I told her that this is my mother's diaper is not wet, when you grow up, you will come to menstruation like your mother, and you will also use these things, I will buy it for you when the time comes, okay? My daughter said, then you have to buy me the best looking one. I said, well, be sure to choose the prettiest colors, like pink, powder blue, pink green, and rainbow color. She listened to her eyes and smiled crookedly, like eating a piece of candy, and snuggled up to me tightly. Now, she has reached the age of menstruation, I sometimes urge her, come to menstruation, mom is waiting to buy you colorful sanitary napkins! —Sophie, 40-year-old mother, editor
"The menstrual holiday shows that you have the ability to be a mother in the future, which is great, but you can also choose not to do it"
My daughter asked me, is it very troublesome to come to menstruation? I said that the day of menstruation does require some special care than when there is no menstrual leave, such as not letting yourself be cold, such as reducing physical exercise, such as taking a good rest, but menstrual leave is not a nasty thing, on the contrary, it proves that we are very healthy and capable of procreation, which is a very great thing, it is closely related to human reproduction. Of course, this does not mean that you have come to menstrual leave and you must assume the responsibility of being a mother. You can choose to become a mother when you grow up, or you can choose not to be a mother, no matter which one, as long as it is your deliberate choice, I will support you. ——Meng Meng Mom, 39 years old mother, HR director
"I hope that the people you meet in the future can take care of you who come to menstruation"
My dad is very good at taking care of mom, and every time mom comes on menstrual leave, dad will tell mom not to do any housework, and he will do everything. When I came to the menstrual leave, my father also let me enjoy the same treatment as my mother, he said, it is very hard to come to the menstrual holiday, and the people around me must take more care of and be more considerate.
I never felt that coming to menstruation was a bad thing, on the contrary, coming to menstruation meant that I could get special care and attention. My mom told me that she hoped that the boyfriends I would meet in the future would know how to take care of people like dad. I hope that my future partner and I can be like my parents, when I am weak, when he is weak, we can see each other and care for each other. ——Ding Xiaoxiao, 16-year-old daughter, high school student
Seemingly inconspicuous menstrual care actions are changing the world little by little. A happy thing is that the mother who fought for the toilet door for her daughter has recently received a response: the government attaches great importance to this matter, and The New Century Primary School immediately rectified it, installing partition doors in the girls' toilets in the school, and requiring the district schools to allow students to use the teachers' toilets.