"I watch this TV series make me angry Oh, I'm angry, I'm all taking medicine, the runaway pill I ate, so annoyed, really annoyed with this person."
"I don't want to talk about him now, but I'm very angry when I talk about him."
This is the voice content sent by Yang Di's mother to Yang Di, and when she watched the TV "Xiao Min Jia", she was angry with Jin Bo in the play and took medicine. Because of this incident, when the audience sees the "angry person" plot, they will think of Yang Di's mother, and some people say: Quickly remind Yang Di's mother and let her not watch this paragraph.
Seeing this, I suddenly thought of a passage:
Chinese have the same emotional ups and downs as people in other countries of the world. But people in the rest of the world don't have as much emotional ups and downs as Chinese, in other words, Chinese love to be angry. ——Zeng Shiqiang, "Chinese Why Do You Love to Be Angry"
Not only Yang Di's mother, if you think about it carefully, I also admit that I used to be quite angry, and even many people around me also loved to be angry, but many people did not know it.
First, often get angry, hurt yourself
When driving, because a driver suddenly jams up, will you suddenly get angry and even continue with him?
When shopping, because the cashier is slow, do you get angry and change your face?
Just cleaned the living room, the child is a mess again, will you scold the child?
Your husband came home from work, didn't change his slippers, and walked around the house, how would you react?
When you see your child do a very simple application problem wrong, will you yell at him?
"I think you, the heavens sent me to clean up, but you are kind to me, everyone's mother has cerebral hemorrhage, you haven't made me a brain infarction, I thank you!"
This is a very popular video on the Internet, and the father is angry when he watches his son write his homework.
Such words are not very familiar, especially in the past two years, watching children write homework and being "fried" by gas, often on the hot list.
In the "Yellow Emperor's Inner Classic", it is said that "a hundred diseases are born of qi", small qi will be sick, and the atmosphere can be fatal.
You see in the TV series, some people will be angry stroke, it is really very likely, serious is not to die, in response to the sentence: I am about to be angry with you!
Everyone understands that angry hurts the body, many diseases are "angry" out, if you chat with people who have experienced serious illness, most of them will hear them persuade you: want to open up in the future, don't be angry with yourself!
If you wait until you are sick to understand, the price paid is too high.
Second, the root cause of anger lies in oneself
So, is it because of others or because of yourself? I think the root cause lies in myself, some of the behavior of others is just a fuse, you have "Mars" in your heart, others are a little bit.
Most of those who love to be angry have the following characteristics:
1, sensitive: I think people who love to be angry have this characteristic, because other people's words or even a look, they will be angry.
In fact, sometimes what others say is not aimed at you, but you feel that he is targeting you.
In the TV series "Female Psychologist", Zhan Lu's mother-in-law said that she would not make this dish, let Zhan Lu do it, she understood that her mother-in-law did not want to cook, and deliberately let her do it.
Although Zhan Lu is so sensitive because of postpartum depression, in reality, some people are really so sensitive, others do not have this meaning, he will think too much.
2, the level of cognition is different: each of our cognitive level is different, if you stand in your point of view to look at others, then you will have a lot of incomprehension, resulting in yourself will be very angry.
For example, watch your child do homework.
Some children are late in the morning, and some are very simple topics in the eyes of adults, but he can never learn them, so the more adults look at it, the more angry they are.
Do you look back and think about it, at your age, can you guarantee a full score in the next exam? Thinking at the cognitive level of others, you will accept it, and you will not be so easy to get angry.
3, cultivation: to be completely angry, I think it is impossible, can only try to control, which requires improving their own cultivation.
Ji Xianlin, a master of traditional Chinese studies, has suffered from cancer twice, but he lived to be 98 years old, and every time he reads his articles, the feeling he gives me is two words: cultivation.
After experiencing great ups and downs, Mr. Ji Xianlin can still be so calm and indispensable to his inner cultivation.
Here to share a small story about Mr. Ji Xianlin:
Once, when he was eating in a restaurant, the child at the next table fell off the stool, so Ji Xianlin carried the crying child back to the chair. At this time, the child's mother just came out of the bathroom, saw this scene, thought that he made the child cry, and scolded involuntarily.
Ji Xianlin did not explain and returned to his seat.
The other guests couldn't take it anymore and told the lady the truth, and she left the restaurant quickly and embarrassed.
He was asked why he didn't explain it? Ji Xianlin said: "She is also only in love with her son, there is no need to argue with her." If I don't stick to it, it will only make things worse and worse."
In fact, being angry or not being angry lies entirely in ourselves, we can't control the words and deeds of others, but our emotions are decided by ourselves.
Third, stop getting angry, in order to start health
Now many people pay more and more attention to health, thermos cups, goji berries, foot soaking, tonics, etc., if you do not pay attention to emotional control, these health care are futile, useless.
I think the best health is to nourish the heart, anger is the most common kind of bad emotions, so it is better to quit negative emotions, it is better to start with "not getting angry".
If you want to be angry, the best way is to "treat both the symptoms and the root causes", that is, external cultivation and internal cultivation, here, I recommend some useful methods for everyone.
1. Accept yourself
People who love to be angry, like other people with character defects, are reluctant to admit that they love to be angry, in fact, reflection is the first step to change.
Only by acknowledging your shortcomings can you know how to correct them, and can you know why you are angry? This will help you to correct the shortcomings in a targeted manner.
For example, you often lose your temper with your husband, so every time you want to get angry, think about why you are angry? If you are not angry, it will not cause serious consequences, if the impact is not large, then the next time you encounter such a thing, try not to be angry.
2. Exercise
People who are easy to get angry, the mood will not be good, often lose their temper, in fact, can change their state of mind through exercise.
Jogging, walking, swimming these activities can make you feel comfortable, people's body in the relaxed, the mood will become better, tolerance for some things will become greater, it is not so easy to get angry.
However, exercise should be carried out according to your own physical characteristics, and choose a suitable exercise method for yourself.
3. Empathetic thinking
The above-mentioned Guoxue master Ji Xianlin, he did not immediately refute the mother, but from her point of view to understand her, in fact, it is also rationalizing her behavior, her scolding is reasonable, then why should he be angry?
When others make you angry, think more about it from the other person's point of view, you will understand the other party, he is not aimed at you, so you do not need to be angry about this matter.
4. Situational transfer
When you see someone or something that will be particularly angry, and you can't help but be angry, then you choose to flee!
Don't see, don't listen, don't want to, reduce the stimulation of your own emotions, and slowly you will forget.
For example, if you don't like someone, then don't look at his dynamics and control your eyes and hands; if you don't like to buy vegetables at that vendor, then just bypass it.
5. Cultivate the body and mind
The 4 suggestions mentioned above are actually to treat the symptoms rather than the root causes, and to really change, it is still necessary to change from the heart.
If at work, you have to be in the same office with someone, you can't escape, you can only accept it from your own heart.
Read more books, when your cognitive level improves, your vision and mind will be broader, and at that time, you will not care about these small things that fluctuate your emotions.
If you are often angry in your study, work and life, then pay attention to it from now on.
If you start to pay attention to health now, then you should know the truth of qi and hurt your body, control it and not let yourself get angry, and then continue to maintain health.
Do you have people around you who love to be angry? How do you feel about being with them?
Author: Muzi
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