Mo Yan said in "Life and Death Fatigue":
"The world is like a book, page after page. People should look forward and turn over the old accounts of history less. ”
In reality, we often feel unhappy, mostly because we are trapped by complicated things.
Always pessimistic regurgitation, remembering what should be forgotten, counting the past, it is difficult to escape from negative emotions.
But the more I think about it, the more I can't solve the puzzle.
It is better to open your heart, let the past go with the wind, blow away the incomprehension and resentment, and then, generously welcome the lightness and happiness.
When I graduated from college, because of a circle of friends, Bingbing and Xiyuan, who were originally very good, suddenly broke off contact.
During that time, everyone was busy looking for a job, Xiyuan interviewed 2 companies a day, sleepy at night, Bingbing asked for help to change the report, she promised to reply tomorrow morning, and she was ready to sleep.
Unexpectedly, I just lay down and received the news that the interview was passed, so Xiyuan sent a message to share her mood in the circle of friends.
After Bing Bing saw it, she felt that XiYuan was deceiving herself, obviously there was no rest but she was prevaricating for no reason, and the sentence "good night" was perfunctory, and she didn't care about her emotions and situation at all.
The next day, Xiyuan got up early to change the report and send it to Bingbing, but there was no thank you, and even the phone was not answered.
In this way, Xiyuan felt that Bingbing was unreasonable, and Bingbing felt that Xiyuan was hypocritical, and the two people broke off contact for more than 1500 days.
It wasn't until they attended their roommate's wedding together and the two sat together again that they finally reconciled.
Bing Bing said, "I was too careful at the time, and now that I want to come, I should have put down my stubbornness and gone to you a long time ago." ”
Xi Yuan wiped her tears and said, "For such a long time, those insignificant details, I just don't want to turn over, but the time I missed because of this makes me feel the saddest." ”
Many times, we are used to clinging to small things, always unwilling and reluctant.
As a result, due to entanglement and calculation, I had no choice but to rub shoulders with people who are worth cherishing.
Emerson said: "Instead of blindly guessing, it is better to take the initiative to solve this puzzle and talk openly with friends, but it is a lubricant to promote feelings." ”
Life is like all kinds, everyone will inevitably be misunderstood, if you have been keeping the troubles in your heart, it is difficult to get real ease.
Erasing unhappiness is a kind of tenderness; choosing to turn the page is also a kind of courage.
Instead of torturing yourself because of entanglement, nor do you resent others because of negativity, you are willing to accept and cherish, and exchange your sincerity for your heart.
Remember to return the past to the years and leave the misunderstandings to the past, in order to continue well and move forward simply.
Last week, my husband worked three days in a row and wanted to get a good night's sleep on Sunday, but he was woken up by a phone call at 5 a.m.
"Hello sir, I'm sorry, I just looked down to pick up my phone and accidentally crashed into your car. I'm in the underground parking lot, please come over and deal with it. ”
The car parked in the parking space was scraped to the bumper and fell off, and I was not awake yet, and I was angry:
"A good weekend, just let him mix it up, it's so annoying."
The husband changed his clothes, went downstairs to deal with it, contacted the traffic police and insurance with the other party, sent the car to the maintenance station, and returned in 2 hours.
Without anger or accusation, he also brought back his daughter's favorite strawberries:
"Hurry up and pack up, eat the good food, and we'll go to the playground in a moment."
I thought that this day's travel plan was going to be in vain, but when I heard him say this, I suddenly laughed and couldn't help but sigh: This mentality of not being disturbed by trouble is really good.
In reality, we are often swayed by a lot of unpleasant things, messed up plans, and lost interest.
But in fact, things have happened, rather than a good mood, it is better to turn this page and not be tired of troubles.
I have seen such a sentence:
"I hope you will stop dwelling on the old and dilapidated things that have happened and cannot be changed, and you will not waste time and energy on your goals." If the target is the sun, there is no need to linger on the light of the fireworks. ”
Some things, since they cannot be changed, learn to "ignore them."
Don't pay for other people's mistakes without your own emotions, because it's not worth it or it's worth it.
Ma Dong said: "Over time, we will eventually forgive those who have hurt us." ”
Not to think about it is a kind of open-mindedness; choosing to understand is also a kind of courage.
Do not complain about bad luck, nor do you lose control because you can't change, but dare to forgive the faults of others and dredge the "congestion" in your heart.
Remember, tolerate the fault of others, in order to relax your heart, change your mind, and reap happiness.
Some time ago, she and her girlfriend Yang Yang made an appointment to eat with the two families, but unexpectedly, she was released by her husband.
Because of this incident, the two almost got divorced.
Originally scheduled to eat hot pot at night, it was already on the way, yangyang received a call:
"My mother's network is not good, it can't be connected, the old lady is in a hurry, you can eat it first or another day."
Listening to her husband say this, her mood changed suddenly:
"Isn't it just a net?" When can't I fix it? Usually do not help, even if you don't care, how to always add to the chaos! ”
The more Yang Yang thought about it, the more aggrieved he became, and he complained over the phone:
"When renovating, I said that I didn't have time to manage it; when the child was born, when we had something to do, we didn't come to take a look."
As a result, the more he talked, the more he poured out the resentment he had formed with his mother-in-law over the years, and the husband finally couldn't bear it and hung up the phone directly. Then, I didn't go home for a week.
What was originally a very pleasant date, just like that, became unhappy and dispersed.
Sometimes, what bothers people is not the few words that are said, but the old account that is often turned over.
But the rest of your life is long, if you always grasp the unsatisfactory things, and ruminate in your heart over and over again, you will only make yourself more sad, but you will not get any relief.
In the Quotations of Grandma, it is said:
"If you have anger and resentment in your heart, just say it, whether it is true or not, don't stay, stay for a long time, it will grow in the body." 」
Only by squeezing out the "knots" in the heart will we not be affected by it from time to time, disturbing the mood and ruining the relationship.
As you may wish, one thing is one thing, try your best to solve it when you experience it, and then decisively turn the page after it has passed, do not complain, do not regret, do not torture yourself, and do not hurt others.
Facing a problem head-on is a kind of wisdom; choosing to forget is also a kind of courage.
Do not accumulate resentment because of silence, nor do you accumulate grievances because of forbearance, but dare to take the initiative to reconcile with the past and let the unsatisfactory pass.
Remember to clean up the garbage in your heart regularly to free up memory, love and pleasure.
There is a sentence in "Spring Wind Ten Miles Not as Good as You":
"Don't be too sober, let the past things pass, don't have to chew repeatedly, life is not long, there are not so many important things, the dawn is dawn, and it is earned again."
Every day we are going through is the youngest day of the rest of our lives, for better or worse, and we will never come back.
So, remember some of the good, and happily turn those misunderstandings and sadness over.
Then, fearless of the past, lightly packed, with love and expectation, and collided with the desired future.
The author | Liu Xiaochang, loves words and life.
The anchor | Wen Qian, Himalayan Radio: Anchor Wen Qian
Pictures | Visual China