We often hear the saying, prepare for the worst and do your best. It sounds like a lot of sense, but when you envision the worst-case scenario and make full preparations, it seems that you can rush forward fearlessly and worry-freely.
However, this is not necessarily the case, for an anxious personality, there are more and more anxious things in life, especially in the face of many uncertainties.
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We are born with a sense of distress
These two years have been full of unknowns, the pandemic raging around the globe, and we can't be sure when — or if we're still on track.
In short, life is full of unknowns, which scares us. After all, our brains react negatively to these uncertainties.
From an evolutionary perspective, the more information we have, the more secure we feel, especially when that information can pose a threat to our lives.
"Our sense of distress is innate," says Margaret Cochrane, a psychotherapist in San Jose, California, "it's a survival mechanism; our brains haven't evolved much over the past ten thousand years, and we still retain a sense of distress, always alert to dangers rather than just having fun." ”
Living in anxiety for a long time may have an impact on human functioning. "The fight or flight response in our bodies is activated," Cochrane said, "and then a lot of chemicals are produced in our bodies." ”
This was supposed to be a short-term reaction: Once the threat was gone, the chemicals released by the brain out of fear returned to normal. But Cochrane added: "We can't get rid of the uncertainties we're experiencing right now, which can lead to a constant adrenaline release from our bodies day in and day out." "It's not a good thing because too high levels of these stress hormones can lead to diseases like high blood pressure, obesity, etc."
Of course, Connecticut psychologist Rosanna Capanna Hodge says uncertainty has the most significant psychological effects. "Now, we all feel out of control," she said. "All the changes we've experienced in recent months during the COVID-19 pandemic, good and bad, are going to make people feel very uncomfortable. Most people cannot adapt to these changes. ”
If the current uncertainties make you feel uneasy, you are certainly not alone. While you may feel helpless, here are a few suggestions that can help you better face this uncertainty.
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How to deal with uncertainty in life
001 Don't think before or after
Ryan Jane Jacobi, a psychologist and lecturer at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital, says that when you start worrying, your brain may get stuck in a rabbit hole and think about these negatives over and over again in your head.
"You're trying to solve a problem, or trying to predict what's going to happen in the future," she said, "and it's not that it's wrong to do that — sometimes it doesn't hurt to solve the problem or prepare for what's about to happen — but the mental burden of that anxiety can be exhausting." ”
Jacobi added that the data shows that the more people ruminate about the past and worry about the future, the longer the onset of depression and anxiety. The more you allow these thoughts to grow, the more likely you are to experience depression and anxiety, and the longer they last.
Worrying about the unpredictable future — like who will become president of the United States in the next four years, or the pace of research and development of a COVID-19 vaccine — doesn't do you any good for your perception. Instead, Jacobi says, you should proactively postpone these concerns. "When we want to start trying to make plans, or prepare for things that are too far away, take the initiative to postpone this worry: tell yourself, 'I can't make this decision right now, I'll think about it in X weeks,' and don't think about anything until then,' she said. ”
002 Keep yourself busy
Instead of focusing on an uncertain future, let yourself get back to the present. You can practice mindfulness and meditation to guide your attention back to concentration. "There are other things you can do to distract you, things that require your full attention — like painting, meditating, playing music, or some challenging physical activity like rock climbing or skiing," Jacobi said.
"The most effective way to deal with anxiety and panic is to keep your hands busy," Cochrane said. When your brain is busy thinking about useless things again and again, it has a hypnotic effect on the brain. That's when you calm down, stop thinking about other things, and focus on what you're doing. Coloring your paintings is a good choice, and copying things by hand can also help. If you're in a very bad state, open a book, start copying, and see what happens. ”
003 Don't imagine the worst
Often, Jacobi says, this idea of "preparing for the worst" evolves into a bad pessimism. This pessimism is common in people with depression. "Interestingly, people tend to deal with uncertainty in this way, assuming that the worst is easier than facing the unknown, but certainly also unhealthy." Experts suggest that to deal with this uncertainty, you need to devote yourself to activities that require undivided attention, such as drawing or playing jigsaw puzzles.
004 Accept the unknown in life
The best way to deal with uncertainty is to try to adapt to it. Consider exposure therapy: Jacobi says, "You can blend in more with these uncertainties than try to change it, and the more you know, the more you can handle it."
You have to deal with this – and we all have to deal with it – because things don't seem to be going to become unclear in the short term. "The only constant in the universe is change," Cochrane said. "It's futile to fight it. If there is a big storm, the crooked trees can survive, and the unbended trees will crack and die. Humans are the same. ”
Things seem to be out of control – and in general, maybe so. But that doesn't mean you can't regain control of your life.
Capana Hodge said: "We can't control the weather, we can't control the traffic. The COVID-19 pandemic continues and we can't control it. But we can control our minds, the people in our lives, and what we hear and see. There's a lot we can control, just focus on that. ”