Five years into my marriage, I found love again

I remember when I was newly married, I would wake up in his arms in the morning, I always blushed and did not dare to say a morning, for fear that the tone in my mouth would wrinkle his eyebrows; the mouthwash cup and toothbrush insisted on using the same color as him, and it was only when I looked at it together that I had the feeling of a husband and wife; I would help him get some clothes for work, what shirt and what tie, and after my aesthetic, I would allow him to wear it.

Got up to the table, for his health, I changed the breakfast every day, on a clear day may be bacon eggs plus toast; if it rains, maybe some millet porridge with sauce melon and salt eggs; if it is cloudy, it is better to eat some roasted cake fritters and soy milk outside... I can't use new tricks with the moves, but I enjoy it.

In addition to being a wise wife, I also made no secret of my enthusiasm for him, "I love you" is to send him out to work every day to say something, and then attach an intimate kiss, even if he is mostly just a shallow smile, it is enough for me to be happy for half a day.

But five years have passed. I'm sure it's not the time to itch yet, but what exactly changed my interaction with him?

When he got up in the morning, his position was often empty, and he could only be confirmed by the wrinkled sheets that he did exist, and even if he occasionally slept oversleep or leaned out of bed, he was definitely in a hurry to jump up from the bed and wash his clothes in a hurry.

I had almost forgotten the feeling of being embraced by him to greet the rising sun.

The mouthwash cup in the bathroom, after being broken a few years ago, can no longer find the exact same, and the other one is also replaced by a new one because it fell into the toilet; within five years, the toothbrush has been changed for an unknown number, and even sometimes we are confused, and we will use the same one, and there is no need to hide the problem of any tone.

Whether it's the same color, the same style, he says it doesn't matter at all.

So on the wash stand, Hello Kitty and Tinker Bell's two mouthwash cups face each other, with a green toothbrush in the cup, mine, and Hello Kitty empty because he had switched to an electric toothbrush a while ago and was on the shelf.

The mouthwash cups belonging to two different stories, and the toothbrushes in two different positions, seem to mock our husband and wife relationship, and gradually drift apart. Because he went out early, it was no longer my business to dress him, and he would take care of it himself. breakfast? I haven't eaten together for a long time, and I don't have to think hard about the menu, check the recipe, and no one appreciates it anyway.

Not to mention the words "I love you", and the passionate good morning kiss, he was not blessed, and now it is a bit pretentious to think about it, in five years, he has not said "I love you" once, not once.

The time I spent with him was technically from seven o'clock in the evening, after he came back from work. If he had worked overtime, the time might have been extended to ten or eleven o'clock.

When I first got married, I went to learn to cook for him, to grasp the man's heart, to grab his stomach first, and I believed in this iron law. Therefore, some restaurant famous dishes often appear on our table, Kung Pao chicken, Wu Geng Intestinal Wang, scallion oil chicken, Dongpo meat...

I was happy to see him eat, and I was happy, although it wasn't all I loved to eat, but he loved to eat. After dinner, we would snuggle up on the couch and watch TV, and I would accompany him to watch the news and listen to his comments on national politics and social conditions; he would accompany me to watch the eight o'clock file, listening to me laugh at the plot, crying and laughing. So I know who the chief executive and the chief legislature are, and he also knows who played the popular Li Shimin.

What I didn't expect was that five years could change all that.

I can say that the cooking class was abandoned halfway. I don't know from what day, he began to interfere with my way of cooking, Kung Pao chicken he did not like too much pepper, five more intestines he began to resist, onion oil chicken told me not to pour oil, even how much soy sauce to put in the brine Dongpo meat, he has something to say.

The dishes I made gradually became simpler, and the cooking class did not want to go, and sometimes a plate of fried greens, gongmaru soup and pi egg tofu sent him away, but he did not have any opinions.

I thought, I couldn't catch his stomach.

As his overtime work increased, we rarely watched TV together, and I knew nothing about national events; and he, needless to ask, was the male protagonist of Taiwan's Thunderbolt Fire, and he could never have known who the male protagonist of Taiwan's Thunderbolt Fire was.

Most of the words he said to me were "don't wait for me" and "go to bed early", and what I said to him was almost "you're back" and "the dish is hot in the electric pot". We don't have the same topics, we don't have the same interests, and apart from the nominal connection between husband and wife, our communication is empty and pitiful, worse than ordinary friends.

What a ridiculous couple relationship, isn't it?

2

Before marriage, we had painted a vision for the future, he said to have two children, first male and female, brother can protect sister; but I think we should enjoy a period of two people first, the matter of having children is not in a hurry, but I don't want to spoil his interest, and did not say it.

For a while after the marriage, he was very active with me to "create the life of the universe to inherit", and he wanted children, as can be seen from his behavior of not wearing condoms. But I didn't want it yet, and I was afraid that he wouldn't be happy, so I took the pill behind his back.

At that time, he also excitedly took me to the hospital to visit a female friend, who had just given birth to a 4,200-kilogram giant baby, lying on the hospital bed with a wilted look. I can't forget the look in his eyes when he looked at the newborn doll through a piece of glass, but I can't forget that the female friend told me in a weak tone that she had been in pain for a whole day and a night before asking the doctor to change from a natural birth to a caesarean section.

I'm even more afraid to have children.

Five years later, he seems to have given up on having children, after all, it is useless to be hot only.

However, staying in the empty house after he went to work, I suddenly felt that it was not bad to have a child, at least the house would be more lively, and my loneliness would be less.

He started using condoms years ago, and I don't know what made him change his mind, but it also relieved me, I seem to be allergic to contraceptives, no matter what brand I change, I end up with an edema.

I guess his six-hundred-degree myopia plus flash shouldn't make out anything different about my pre-edema and post-edema, the point is that his condom solved me a big problem and at the same time brought another new annoyance.

I want a child now, but he doesn't seem to want to, and I don't know how to talk to him.

Not to mention his frequent overtime, often tired at night to fall asleep, if I open this mouth again, it seems to increase his pressure in disguise.

Between two people, it is already low enough that there is no need to add another topic that will cause conflict.

3

When we were in love, he loved taking me to Freshwater and sitting by the riverbank watching the sunset. Walking along the pier, you can eat a variety of snacks with different flavors. Freshwater seafood is quite famous, he seems to know only the old horse, always know which is the most authentic.

Sometimes, he took me by ferry to Bali on the other side, where there was only one lively road, selling all peacock clams, and two people could eat a large plate, and they felt that they were not finished.

He will also ride a two-person bicycle with me along Tamsui Old Street to Tamsui, and then ride back from Tamsui, the scenery along the road is not very charming, but there is a rustic taste, and the sea breeze is salty on the face, I enjoy this atmosphere.

Of course, sitting in the back seat of the bicycle, I fished for three days, dried nets for two days, and only stepped on two times when I was in a good mood, and he knew that I was lazy, or he stepped hard.

I miss it, really, even after five years, that memory is still fresh in my mind.

The number of times I went to Tamsui after marriage, except for the time of the new marriage, was almost countless, and I had not been there once in the past two or three years. Every holiday, he would not get up until noon, and I saw him so tired, and of course I would not bother him to take me around.

Holiday theory said that I and him should be able to have some intersection, but he is tired, I can only find something to do, go out shopping with friends who work at work, talk about right and wrong, and complain about him by the way.

As for him sleeping at home, lunch and dinner, solve it yourself!

He didn't know that in the first few months, I couldn't stand boredom and took the MRT to Tamsui by myself. Sure enough, it had been too long, and it had become a place I didn't know at all.

The food stalls along the river embankment are gone, all concentrated near the MRT station, and the place where he and I used to watch the sunset have been renovated into a long causeway for walking only. It is good that the road surface becomes clean and tidy. But the place where I and his fond memories were stored, disappeared.

Without his lead, I couldn't find authentic seafood shops, couldn't find good snacks, and couldn't ride a tandem bike by myself, but I was surprised to find that Tamsui had an additional fisherman's wharf where I could take a bus to get there.

Fisherman's Wharf, his footsteps have not been stepped on, I am one step ahead of him, this, without him, only my experience.

When you arrive at fisherman's wharf, the scenery is beautiful, but there is a kind of artificial carving. I thought that I could take the blue highway to the other side for a few hundred yuan, like a ferry, but the yacht that had lost its ancient style took a big detour and then drove back to the original point.

Except for the bumpy hull that shook my head, I couldn't remember any beautiful scenery, not even a single peacock clam.

Freshwater has changed, and so have my memories of him.

One morning, I got up early in the morning and cooked him a long-lost and hearty breakfast.

Then, with no third parties, no quarrels, I handed over the divorce papers.

It was the first time I'd seen him look so shocked, and if it was April Fool's Day that day, I thought I had succeeded. But I wouldn't make such a bad joke, he knew I was serious.

He did not jump like a normal man, and began to count the woman's guilt; nor did he cry and cry, kneeling down and begging me to stay, he just tried to calm his mind, silently accepted the agreement, opened the door, went to work, as usual.

He may also perceive that our husband and wife relationship has reached a bottleneck, and he also intends to carefully consider the feasibility of divorce, his estrangement in recent years, I did not shed a tear, but his indifference on this day almost poured out my tears for five years.

I had some regrets, and this regret gradually spread, starting from the heart and spreading to the top of my head and toes. But what about regret? Not fast knife chopping mess, but also just dragging a plain as water day, two people dry consumption.

I don't know how much I have left of my love for him, much less how much he has left for me. Before I married him, I knew he was silent; after marrying him, I thought I could change him, and I didn't change him much.

My love is not enough to change him, and his love is not enough to change for me, which is probably the key.

Chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea will destroy the sweetness of love, I tasted, but this is a lesson bought for five years.

Now, no children, no strings, I don't covet him, should be the best time for divorce, right?

Shaking my hands to sign the divorce papers, I was still shaking after he was out for a few hours. It was an unknown trepidation, me, waiting for him to give me a result.

4

He colded me for five years and then delayed me seven days. From the time the divorce papers were handed over to him, for a whole week, he didn't say a word to me, slept on the couch for seven days, and still commuted to work every day, except for being more cold, I couldn't feel his joys and sorrows.

That letter of agreement, even if thrown into the garbage can, there will be a sound of touching the garbage bag, but he, there is no sound at all, I suspect that he does not take it seriously, ignore me for a while, just to see if I will forget about the divorce.

I can't stand it, what the hell is he going to do? Even divorce, to be so indifferent? Seven days later, however, his solidity startled me.

In the morning, I heard him get up in the living room, and I couldn't really hear him through the door panel, but I couldn't wait for the door to close when he went out to work. A ping-pong metal impact replaced his usual quiet rest, and I finally couldn't stop getting up to look at it, but after opening the door, I smelled a burst of food.

"Got up? Eat some omelets. He smiled, as shallow as I had kissed him when I was newly married.

My heart jumped fiercely, and I thought that Gu Jing's emotions were not wavering, and ripples because of his long-lost thoughtfulness. He was still so easy that he could stir my heart.

I don't know how he can mix until nine o'clock, ten o'clock and not go to work, he received my doubts, but also just smiled lightly, the simple clothes on his body did not have any breath of work, maybe he, there is also work fatigue, right?

It could also be... He was going to pronounce the verdict, about the divorce agreement. Looking at him with a relaxed look, I ate breakfast silently, fantasizing about what he would say. Will he simply get divorced? Or did you tear up the agreement in front of me?

Admittedly, my heart, tends to the latter.

"I've been promoted to manager." His first sentence, which surprised me, immediately entered the point and caught me off guard, "The work is over, and now we have to deal with the affairs of the family." ”

Is work ahead of family? I smiled bitterly.

"Only when the work is settled can I give you a stable home." He seemed to be explaining my doubts.

"So, tell me why you want a divorce?" He finally asked, and his face became solemn.

He had never spoken to me in such a questioning tone, and looking at his rare intensity, I couldn't say a word.

"Do you think I'm cold to you?" In the blink of an eye, his attitude suddenly became self-deprecating, and he continued: "I know that you are always thinking wildly at home alone..."

I had long conversations with him all day, hours of conversation, and four-fifths of the time I was crying because I felt like I had made a terrible mistake.

However, there are some things that I would never know without that divorce agreement.

He said that for five years, he did wake up with me in his arms every day, but then he was busy at work, he got up early, and I was still asleep, I don't know, sometimes he would kiss my face.

Looking at my greedy sleeping face, he couldn't bear to wake me up.

As for the mouthwash cup in the bathroom, he couldn't figure out whether the tinker bell was his or Hello Kitty was his, and he thought pink was the color that girls liked.

It turned out that we had been invisibly doing intimate lip and tooth exchanges, and poor Hello Kitty, placed there unused, became an ornament.

Breakfast, he ate 7-11, he admitted to missing the breakfast I made, but he was embarrassed to ask me to make it for him every day, he knew that I would squeeze my brains to change tricks, he was reluctant to see me too tired.

"I married you in the hope that you would be blessed, not that you should be a maid." From the moment he said this, I couldn't stop the tears.

When it comes to his clothes, he laughs at my stupidity, he can see that I will add new clothes for him, neatly arranged in the cabinet according to color patterns, and I often help him match them during the wedding. Over time he also knew my preferences, what tie and what clothes, he wore for me.

As for the passionate good morning kiss, every day he gave it to me early in my deep sleep, but I was trying to get myself into the horns, thinking that he didn't need my kiss. "Why didn't you ever say you loved me?" I asked him with tears in my eyes.

"I thought you knew, otherwise why would we get married?" He replied of course.

Yes, I know, I always knew, otherwise I wouldn't have married him, but if I knew, why would I force him to say it?

Women need some love words to moisturize, I think this is the reason, looking at my accusatory eyes, I think he also knows the reason.

"The big dishes you make are delicious, but those dishes are laborious and not all of them are what you like, so I'd rather you make some simple dishes, preferably you also like to eat." 」

His explanation, word by sentence, made me shed another vat of tears.

"You don't like to eat spicy, so I want you to put less pepper; if you don't eat offal, then I won't eat it; you're afraid of being fat, so I want to add less oil when cooking; soy sauce has a high salt content, eating more kidney burden, for your health, seasoning can be done, don't add too much." 」

As long as I cook it, he likes it, think about every time I prepare food for him, he doesn't eat it once, not eat it all, why on earth do I feel like I can't catch his stomach?

So, did I grab his heart too?

Another thing that surprised me was that he really knew who the male protagonist of Taiwan's Thunderbolt Fire was, even if he guessed it correctly.

"Is it Liu Wencong?" Or that Lee Jeong-hyun? At night, when I work overtime at work, my colleagues will turn on the TV to watch, so I know a little bit. He brushed the tear marks off my face and smiled and asked, "Are you watching too?" ”

"Hmm." I wanted to cry again, and I really underestimated the ratings of that show.

"After becoming a manager, I will work less overtime, so let's watch it together." He spoke lightly, but my nose was sore.

What I care about is actually not what program to watch, no matter who he is the chief executive and the president of the legislative council, without him around, it is boring to watch anything.

I found that as long as I wanted, two people could talk about anything, and even when I explained the plot of Taiwan's Thunderbolt Fire to him, he talked about plastic surgery all the way, and he listened to it with relish.

It was me, it was I who closed myself off, thinking that he didn't want to listen to me, didn't want to talk to me. He was upset that I was alone at home, talking about things in the company for fear of boring me, and seeing that I didn't want to pay attention to him, he could only touch the ash of his nose every day.

Whatever he said to me, I loved to hear it, but I only now let him know that husband and wife had wasted years of time going between this misunderstanding, and he deserved it, and I deserved it.

"I rarely watch the news, and I don't know what's going on in the country lately." I have to complain a little bit about this sentence.

"Well, I'll be your news station every day from now on." He smiled softly. When it came to having a baby, he was silent for a while.

"I want to have a baby." At this time, I had the courage to say it.

"I thought you didn't want to, didn't you always take the pill when you were married?" It was rare to hear his somewhat accusatory tone.

After learning more, I realized that he had always known that I was taking medicine—perhaps I had casually put it on the makeup table and seen it, and he knew perfectly that I didn't want to have children.

And he also knows that the next day after I take the medicine, there will be edema, my body is slender, my feet are swollen like legs, and only the ostrich mentality of people like me will think that he will not find out.

Later, I developed the habit of putting the medicine in the drawer, and he thought that I would no longer eat it, afraid that my body would be swollen and uncomfortable, so he put on a condom and said that it was still for me.

"Are you edemating again?" Crying all the time, is it to force the water out of the body? "How dare he tease me?" Inevitably get me to hold the old fist.

He still wanted to have children, and after hearing me say that I wanted to have children, the excitement in his eyes told me this. However, the light flashed and then disappeared, and he sat down and asked me a question. "Do you really want to give birth?"

"I think, I'm bored at home alone."

"Just because you're bored? If you're bored at home alone and you want to go out to school, go to work, go shopping with friends, I won't stop you. ”

"Don't you want to too?" I was angry, even though the tears were not convincing.

He began to talk about the four thousand two hundred grams of giant baby, and it turned out that the experience of the female friend had frightened not only me, but also him. He didn't want me to have a baby and suffer a lot, what kind of caesarean section, natural birth, he didn't have any concept, only that it would be very painful.

He understood that I was afraid of pain, so he gave up the idea of having children. "I don't care, I want to be born." After understanding his thoughts, I would prefer to have a child for him, a child with my and his blood flowing through his body.

"Then be born!" He whispered something in my ear that made me blush.

"You're so energetic? Isn't it tiring to go to work? I doubted the veracity of his words.

After his explanation, I suddenly realized that even if he was tired at work, he occasionally had desires, sometimes he put his arms around me at night, and saw me sleeping sweetly, this kind of pain that could not be eaten, he could only sulk in his heart.

In the face of his intentions, I was really speechless.

5

After my two peach-like eyes were slightly swollen, he urged me to change my clothes and take me out. I haven't traveled with him for a long time, and after the cold icebreaking between the two of them, sitting next to him actually gave me the feeling of being in love.

I stared at his side face as he was driving intently, and took his gesture deeply into my mind, for I almost forgot that there was a problem between me and him.

That divorce agreement.

I'm going to remember him for the rest of my life, if he ends up signing. But he probably won't sign it, right? Otherwise, why would he discuss having a baby with me...

"It's here." He stopped and I got out of the car with me. The sea breeze is blowing in the face, and it is fresh water. He also remembers this place, this place where our memories are cherished.

"I've always wanted to bring you, but you go out with friends on holidays, so I have to sleep at home in a quilt." He said so.

What a oolong this is.

I was considerate of his tired work, he was considerate of me going out with my friends, and just like that, we missed being together again and again.

"What you want to do in the future, you can say it directly!" I stared at him annoyedly.

"So are you." He looked back at me with eight hundred seriousness, and the implication was that he wanted me not to take fifty steps and laugh a hundred steps.

It's funny to say, we have always thought that we are thinking of each other, in our own way to consider each other, this self-righteousness has led to countless yin and yang differences.

It wasn't until I began to doubt that I didn't love him, and he didn't love me anymore, that I realized that this love didn't fade away, but dissolved into life, and naturally made people forget about its existence.

The expression of love can be sticky, affectionate, dedicated, blessed, or even concessional, and everyone's way will lead to different results. My way is blind giving, his way is total care, at first glance two people are not wrong, but no matter what way, the lack of an element called "communication" in the middle can easily lead to a rift.

Our marriage is built on this lack of communication in the air, married to this man for five years, I thought I gradually did not love him, but just a simple dissection of the heart, all my love for him was resurrected, and even thickened.

Women will be disappointed in love because of the long-term snub of men, and they can also be full of hope for love because of a man's words, I - do not want to divorce him, do not want to at all, when I signed the name hard, maybe just a gamble, just want him to look at me, but...

"That, that divorce agreement..." I'm going to take it back.

"In the company." He took a good time," the company's shredder. "What does this mean...?"

"You want a divorce, wait until I become a dead husband!" I can't tell if he was joking when he said this, but he lied to my tears again.

He really loves me... Even if he hadn't said it. I thought that if I insisted on divorce, he would let me go, and he would not be able to see me sad, just like he saw me shed tears and quickly hugged me.

What if he wants a divorce?

Forgive me for being selfish, I will not let go, unless I become a dead wife, also because he is reluctant to see me sad, I am confident that I can keep him.

"Freshwater has changed all the time, and I don't know it anymore." After coaxing me, he quickly took the topic away.

"I've been here, and I know what the attractions are."

"Then it's up to you to lead the way this time."

Yes, we can create new memories, as long as there is me and him, when and where it is not a problem.

Five years into my marriage, I found love again.

This article is sent to my friends, please cherish what you have. Don't blame the other person for some small misunderstanding. The beginning of every love is not easy.

Two individuals together depend on mutual understanding, mutual understanding, everyone must have shortcomings, to learn to tolerate, do not compare their lovers with others, because everyone is different. Don't be too harsh on your lover, don't believe in what you change for the sake of love, everyone's nature is really difficult to change.

But as long as the other party is willing to change for you in their own shortcomings, please cherish. Because he really cares about you and knows you hate to do that. Will write lies to cover up because of fear that you will be angry, don't let the love that everyone has disappear, and respect your lover.

Men should listen to women's words, not afraid of their wives, but respect their wives, women should be considerate of men, do not think that men are born to let women, men are sometimes very fragile, need to rely on, women are tired and can lean on men's shoulders.

Men are tired who can rely on, please pay more attention to men, in short, be good to each other.

A lot of my friends around me will ask me what it's like to be married. This question always leaves me speechless, what is it like to be married?

I don't understand what it is to be in harmony with each other, what is to raise eyebrows, it may be more bland, and even quarrelsome.

But more than that, he will give you a down-to-earth touch, which has nothing to do with roses, has nothing to do with romance, and maybe this is my understanding of marriage.