Text/Thousand Flowers and Thousand Trees
In 2021, it was worth the trip. Are you all doing well?
Every year at this time, write some words to express some mood.
People, at a certain age, can deeply feel the speed of time. You see, close your eyes, it seems that it will not be long before New Year's Day in 2021, and many pictures are vividly remembered. And now, another year has passed, and another year of life has been lost. It's a bit of a shame that what happened every day for the past 365 days hasn't been recorded in a journal. At this moment, although I can see bits and pieces, it is indeed fragmentary.
This year, there are still gains and losses. Got enriched, lost idle. Gain experience, lose years. Got sleek, lost innocence. It is always impossible to balance the relationship between gain and loss. Whenever I get it, I will have a little luck in my heart. And whenever you lose, there will be a little sadness in your heart. It's just that whatever you gain or lose, you know it yourself. Because others are busy with their own lives. You have time to talk, but others don't have time to listen.
This year, happiness is greater than sadness. However, it is more difficult to clearly distinguish between happiness and sadness than when I was a child. When I was a child, I got a candy and was happy. Dropped a dollar, sad. At this age, happy things and sad things are often confused and hidden in the heart. Because I know that no one is really willing to share your happiness, and no one will take the initiative to ask about your sadness. Therefore, whether you are happy or sad, you would rather relive the past in old photos, rather talk to yourself than express it in any form.
This year, calm is greater than confused. Relative to the previous life, because of the uncertain future, it will suddenly become panic at some point. And in times of panic, I can't read books, I can't watch movies, and I can't listen to songs. At night, I have insomnia. Insomnia is a painful thing. It's like getting stuck in a quagmire and struggling without anyone pulling it. Later, as I grew older, I saw more things and more people, and I understood more and more deeply that my own difficulties could only be carried by myself. Because, except for your family, maybe really as others say, no one wants you to have a good life.
If you want to give yourself a score for this year's performance, let's pass. After all, no matter how much loss, no matter how sad, no matter how much confusion adds up, compared with physical health, it is not worth mentioning at all. I have seen with my own eyes how many people around me, entangled in diseases, have completely lost hope in life. Fortunately, I have nothing more than a few toothaches, a few colds, a few pounds of weight, and nothing else.
In life, physical health is the greatest wealth. I don't deny that I long for money, and even once naively thought that as long as I can live a luxurious life for a few years, I will die without regrets. I don't think that way anymore. You see, how beautiful this world is, this life is only a few short decades, day by day healthy to live to white hair, teeth lost, even if it is plain, only coarse tea and light rice, only sunrise and sunset, that is good. Life is such a trip, how many days come and go is a moment. Before, counting the seconds, hoping that time would pass quickly. Now, pinch the second and think about the time to slow down. Because, if time is too fast, the child will grow up and the parents will be older.
Looking back at this year, life was not picturesque, dreams did not blossom, and some were just small things and troubles that could be extinguished with a few glasses of wine. Speaking of which, I can't help but mention a change. In my early twenties, only three or five friends would have a few drinks, even if they were drunk. And the daily life is not interested in alcohol at all. Now it is the other way around, I don't like to push the cup for a cup, I prefer to drink by myself. He will even peel the flower mountain himself, fry peanut rice, and cat on two or two. Enjoy that moment, no one advises you to toast, no need to wait for anyone to touch the cup, and no need to pay homage to anyone. Wait until you are slightly drunk to stop the cup. And the degree of wine is also getting higher and higher. If not, perhaps no one knows that for me, the best appetizer, but a dream. And I'm willing to be drunk for dreams.
This year, compared to the previous year, the more drunk and sober. Deeply know that there are slightly cool in the cold night, and the only people who can warm it are themselves. Thoroughly understand that there are many bumps in the road of life, you have to laugh and sing, you can't shed tears, you have to brave the wind and rain, you can't avoid retreating, the moon will rise, the sky will light up, you can see the flowers bloom if you persist to the end, and you can reach the shore of happiness through the wind and waves.
Time kept turning, and as the years passed, I involuntarily rubbed my eyes. And there seems to be a feeling of wetness in the eyes. It turned out that it was tears. Sentimentality in the past and tears. Sentimental youth, how suddenly has passed away for more than ten years. Sentimental now, the gap with peers is getting bigger and bigger. Sentimental time, passing faster and faster. Sentimental, more sentimental than ever.
2021, in the blink of an eye, is over. In a hurry, I don't know how to end the curtain, in what mood. Millions of people wait for the countdown on the night of revelry. And I'm just typing a mess of text in front of the keyboard. I don't know, who will see, and I don't know who can understand. Perhaps when the New Year's bell rings, in contrast to the carnival of the crowd, I just quietly stepped into 2022 in the noisy late night.
At the end of 2021, let's take another sigh. This year, there have been too many things, too many changes, too many hearings, and too many see-throughs. And all that happens, changes, hears, and sees through seems to be foreshadowing tomorrow, foreshadowing the future, foreshadowing the rest of my life, and I will eventually be able to live the life I imagined. And tomorrow, soon to come. Before it comes, let's sigh a few more times this year.
This year, friends who had not been in touch for many years were contacted again.
Fortunately, the feelings have not changed, still like the beginning, he said I was brain-dead, I said he was stupid. It's actually a good feeling. There is one more fun in life. And this kind of fun can't be bought even if it costs money. Perhaps, this is fate.
Fate is a thing, even though I have written a lot of poems and many articles around myself, I found that I can't really say what kind of relationship is fate. Classmates, colleagues, friends, between the three, the fate is deep and shallow. One thing that touched me very much was that colleagues who were also happy to coexist at work would throw up their mouths because of some small things, and we were just colleagues. Well, yes. Just colleagues. A colleague is a colleague. There is nothing to talk about except work. After not being in a company, it is strange and blocked. Become a hurried passer-by in life. Only the name was left.
Since then, I seem to have been completely in a trance. Don't take yourself too seriously in the eyes of others, because you are likely to be air to others. Destined, there are some people you will never be able to enter his world. And he, you won't welcome him into your own world. Even so, I still believe in fate. Believe in your own eyes and will not look at the person in front of you. People who believe that they see it right will accompany their lives to the end.
This year, another familiar person left this world.
I hid my grief and tears, thinking about myself decades later, how many people came to bid me farewell at the moment of death. How many people will often think of themselves after they have left this world. Parting from life and death is the most difficult thing in life to face calmly. At that moment, I was suddenly afraid that the world had no self.
Have you ever wondered how many years you can live in this life? Ancient people cloud, life seventy ancient rare. I've seen many elderly people enter the countdown to life after they turn 75. I've also seen that an 80-year-old can sit alone in the banyan tree at the head of the village and not say a word at the end of the day, just quietly watching others chat, that kind of loneliness, I don't want to taste. Therefore, I began to feel that it is enough for people to live past 70 years old in this life. If you do this, you will still have half of your life left. At first thought, inexplicably sad.
This year, planned trips remain empty.
I have read a lot of articles about travel, and I have also written a lot of travel articles, and my yearning for the outside world has become more and more intense. I really want to see the mountains and rivers of the motherland, drive freely on the Sichuan-Tibet Line, gallop in the steppes of Inner Mongolia, from south to north, from west to east, and put the beauty of this world into my eyes.
Anyway, life pins itself in place. The countless longings in the heart can only be completed into words, into the so-called poems. The kid always said, Dad, can you take me to the beach? I want to catch starfish. I always replied, OKAY, I'll go when you're off. And time is always being abruptly arranged else. Sometimes it is found that it is not easy to give commitment to children. Because, the more expectations you give, the greater the disappointment. What hurts is that the child loses faith in himself.
The mountains are still there, the sea is still there, and the footprints of others have long been all over the world. And perhaps, one day in the future, I will set off desperately, with my lover, with my children, with my poems, and set off for a distant place. Go hug the missed young maniac, embrace yourself, embrace life, embrace the rest of your life.
This year, I am glad that I still have a dream in my heart.
Everyone has dreams, and dreams are big and small. Once young, I also talked to many people about my dreams. And now, I dare not mention it again. Some brothers say that dreams have long been worn away by reality, but they are content to live a good life. I understand that. After all, at the age when you open your eyes, it is a kind of unrealistic behavior to dream, and you can only walk through the years.
Of course, that's not me. No matter what age, no matter what life is, no matter what reality, I will not give up on my dreams. For my current age, the daily motivation is not only the family, but also the dream. In the past, when talking about dreams, it was three or five friends who pushed cups to change cups, and now I choose to choose to choose my own. Because, when no one else understands, only a slight drunkenness can comfort your heart. I've always believed that the future will be as I expected.
If 2021 is worth the trip, then the future, in my inner firmness, will really be as I expected. And the future I want is simple, a house, a car, three meals a day for a family.
This year, I am also glad that I am safe and sound. It is because of peace that I can write in the last bit of time in 2021. These words will forever become the thoughts of 2021 and become the continuation of 2022. The beginning of being a stranger reading me. Be the way you know me better.
This year, it was worth the trip, and it ended here.
In 2022, a new beginning, a new story.
Time will dust off many past events, and it will change many things. I can't reverse those past events, but I can choose to change myself and thus change my life. So at this very moment, I planted a lot of hope in the next year.
I hope that my original intention will not change, my dream will not change, although my age has gone, I am still the teenager who was once there. Although it is no longer the original face, the smile is still very real. And when I smile, it's not a big deal. Always believe in yourself, always be sincere to friends, always be friendly to strangers, and always be unfazed by life. And if one day, you find that my original intention has changed, my dreams have changed, and my age has gone, please give me a timely reminder.
I hope my family is in good health and peace. How many years of fate have been cultivated in previous lives before you can be a family. Thanks to my family, let me understand what is the first of all good filial piety, what is home and all things, what is happiness, what is contentment. If there is only one chance to bless in this life, I do not hesitate to give it to my family. Only with family can there be love, and only with love can life be in vain.
I hope my friends, rich and noble, do not forget. Our story may also be like a movie, and it will end at a certain time. But good movies will be re-screened. I think we are the same, no matter whether we are in the same city in the future, can we sit and talk about the past, the circle of friends you sent, I will still like it for the first time.
I hope everyone is doing well.
2021 is really over. All regrets, all reluctance, all the passing, let's go.
In 2022, may we all achieve what we want.
Happy New Year!
The end