In the aisle of the train, I saw a familiar face. Just like when I saw cicadas molting on trees in childhood, crucian carp swimming in the river, and shining scarab beetles, clear and familiar joys suddenly came to mind.
I shouted his name, and then the beautiful face turned toward me, and the look in his eyes rang from doubt to surprise. He still looked as clean and fresh as before, like Liu Haoran. "It's so beautiful I almost don't recognize it." He smiled and greeted, and the same joy on his face made me feel inexplicably relieved.
We were junior high school classmates, and I remember a lot of things that happened that year in his class. It was the happiest year I had in my school years, it was an incomprehensible joy, and I didn't feel the pressure of the middle school entrance examination at all. Maybe it's because I'm in a good state of study and can easily get good grades; maybe it's because the class teacher likes me, the classmates around me are also humorous and cheerful, and the surrounding small environment is pleasant. Maybe it's also because of him, the "idol drama male protagonist" that occasionally appears in the small theater in my brain.
Courtesy of Visual China
There was an aisle between our seats, and we could glance at each other, but there was a certain distance. Sitting down in the carriage, we chatted, greeted each other, and slowly talked about many things in the memory. I distinctly remember many of his trivial little things.
"You had a coat, brown corduroy, a black collar, remember?" He shook his head.
"Once when I was in the first place in my grade, you slammed my desk with your fists in disbelief." He still shook his head.
"You once dug a hole in my test paper, covered my face, showed only one eye, and grimaced at me." He showed a very surprised expression: "And such a thing? At the same time, I was embarrassed by my childishness.
I smiled slightly embarrassed and just said, "Some things I remember very well for some reason, and the memory is too good to annoy people." But my heart was churning up and down, and a sentence almost jumped out of my mouth: "Because I have had a good feeling for you."
At that time, he was shining in my eyes. Unlike the other clumsy boys in the class, he behaved like a teenager with a sunny and light demeanor, but not frivolous. The corners of the mouth exude three points of playfulness, which makes people feel festive. When I saw him, the corners of my mouth rose involuntarily, and my heart overflowed with joy, but I deliberately turned around and pretended to be a passerby. When he was present, I liked to say something "literary", subconsciously wanted to get his attention, but said to the female classmates, hated the guy, always wanted to compete with me for the first.
I distinctly remember the color and texture of his coat in the winter, because when he went out to play football and run exercises, he would always put it in his seat, so close to me—and I used to want to touch its texture, pick it up, and hold it in my arms. Of course, this doesn't happen in reality, otherwise it would be too shameful.
At that time, every day at noon, I had to take a nap on my stomach on the desk in the classroom, with three postures, face to the left, face to the right, and face down. Sometimes I would sneak my eyes open to look at him across from me, was his face facing me? He always slept soundly, which made me envious because I rarely fell asleep.
Also, that winter I wrote a sentimental essay, which was read in the class by the language teacher as a model essay, which said, I want to turn into a snowflake and float in the air... When I was queuing up for exercise that day, it was snowing, and he was in front of me, suddenly called my name, and then stretched out his palm to pick up the falling snowflakes, and said with a somewhat funny look: "Hey, do you want to make this thing?" "I watched as a few snowflakes fell on his palm and slowly melted... The world instantly became a holiday card in front of me, frozen in my memories of youth. That light snow belonged to me alone.
He certainly didn't remember any of this, let alone know what kind of waves his usual words and random actions would stir up in my heart. That's just a story of one person's youth.
At that time, I was inferior and shy, because the appearance was too ordinary, a little fat, whether I liked him or liked any boy, it was embarrassing. Small good feelings are buried in the heart, and the only thing you can do is to try to make yourself excellent, and you can also have that sense of lightness and ease. Later, I spent a long time, little by little in my dealings with the world, gaining confidence that I could talk freely about all the shame and cringe of the past.
Crush is really a wonderful life experience, there is a subtle beauty. He gave me fond memories, those throbbing frame by frame engraved in my mind, though the protagonist didn't know it. Don't ask for more, everything is enough to be complete. I don't know who looks in his youth commemorative book?
On the train, he suddenly remembered something, and asked a little frightenedly: "Did I bully you when I was in middle school?" I shook my head, "No, it's been fine all along. ”
Everyone around was asleep, and the carriage was quiet. On the train, two people are very close together, but they do not feel unnatural, and this kind of conversation cannot be carried out in another atmosphere on that night. Surrounded by strangers, we are temporarily close to each other at this moment.
The girl of the past must not have imagined that there would be such a day when she could sit with someone she once liked and talk about the delicate mood of youth. Once, he was so tall and unattainable.
Source: China Youth Daily client