01
Talking to her friend Tangerine about her marriage, to be honest, I admired her.
Tangerine is a woman who is married to love, but also a woman who sacrifices for love. Tangerine's husband is good, and people are considerate and gentle and will coax people, but Orange's marriage is not happy. It is reasonable to say that the married man is good, and the marriage should be happy, but the married woman knows that it is so easy to be happy in marriage, after all, living is a grinding essence, and it is often a mess of chicken feathers.
Nowadays, Tangerine has been married for six years, with two children and daughters, and it seems that the family of four is quite happy. But the real married life of the orange is very busy and tired: the orange has to go to work, the two children are helped by the in-laws, the in-laws help to take the children is only to let the children not bump, the rest is not enough for the oranges to worry. The mother-in-law is 66, diabetic, and the body is not very satisfactory; the father-in-law, 70, is also taking medicine for many years.
If the husband of the orange is good, but the problem is that the two of them are a distant couple, the husband is in the mine, and it is good to come back once a month.
The marriage of the family is to marry the husband, and the marriage of the orange is to marry the in-laws, and she has to worry about the two children and the body of the in-laws. What's more incomprehensible? The mother-in-law is too nagging, the diabetic people are still relatively slow to react, and many times the orange returns home from work and the in-laws do not even brush the bowl. As for the orange, not only to brush the bowl of the in-laws' meals, but also to quickly get the family's meal out, the two children also slept with her to take care of her, not to mention how busy it was.
My husband works in the mine and can't come back once in ten and a half days, which is equivalent to saying that he threw his parents and two children to oranges. It's okay if the child doesn't get sick, but if he gets sick, the orange's life is really too bitter to say.
Once, the eldest daughter had a fever and cough, and could not go to kindergarten, but it was passed on to the younger son, and Tangerine took leave to take care of the two children. It was hard for the two children to get better, and she threw up again at night. The two children were crying, and The orange's body was uncomfortable, and how uncomfortable it tasted.
In the end, there was no way, Tangerine called her husband back, she cried and said, "Child his father, I really can't hold on." ”
Fortunately, Tangerine's husband knows how to be grateful, and he knows how to understand Tangerine's hardships, otherwise he really doesn't know how to proceed with this marriage. In your opinion, Tangerine's marriage is terrible, but she can be happy in pain: "What can be done, you have chosen the person in front of you, you have to live a good life." 」 He was good to me, and I was content. If I complain about divorce again, how nice can I marry with two children? Marriage is so easy, it is not a pleasure in suffering. ”
Tangerine is most afraid of her in-laws' illness, and she is often wary of her in-laws: "You two have to take care of your own bodies, otherwise it won't add to my chaos?" I have two children, and if you get sick again, I really can't do it. You're so lazy you can't help me much, but don't let me worry. ”
Tangerine is a woman who can bear hardships and has a good mentality, she admits her fate but is not willful, and only thinks about how to play a bad hand.
I asked Tangerine, do you regret it after getting married?
She said: "What is the use of regret, people can only go forward, fortunately, two people are one heart, you are not so afraid." There is no very perfect marriage in this world, so it is not pleasure in suffering. ”
02
I felt sorry for Tangerine, who said "Isn't your marriage the same".
My marriage was okay, I had to bring my own children. I am a person who does not like to live with my mother-in-law, and I am afraid that the old man will spoil the child, so I simply bring it myself. After getting married and having a baby, life is unusually busy, while taking the baby, you have to write to earn some money.
When the child reaches the age of three years old, even the dog is suspicious, and this day is also a chicken flying dog jumping.
What's the good part? My hard work is known to his dad, he will try to leave work as early as possible, and he will also accompany the children around the clock on weekends. I am already very satisfied, because I know that there is no very perfect marriage in this world, in fact, most women do not have high requirements for marriage, only hope that two people can be single-minded, and they can take care of anything for the sake of their children.
What is afraid of, afraid that if you suffer, he will not understand you, and even satirize you for abandoning you, which is the worst thing.
As Tangerine said, "There is no very perfect marriage in this world, most of them are happy in suffering." I believe this, because under the pressure of survival, everyone has their own suffering, because under the pressure of life, everyone has their own happiness.
Just like the marriage of oranges, although quite tired, her husband is close to her and understands her; and I, although I have to take my own children, but my husband is not a hand-throwing treasurer, a good husband and a good father. This is enough, we all understand each other's suffering, and we can enjoy the suffering and be satisfied.
Only when two people understand each other's pain, can they share the common fun in the family with each other, and can they experience the happiness brought by marriage.
In real life, many women are not afraid of hard work, afraid of my efforts you turn a blind eye.
03
Liu Xu is a very capable woman, and her income is four times that of her husband. Because of the large amount of earning, the work is naturally busy, Liu Xu often has to travel on business, sometimes as soon as he goes out, it is a week. You have to earn money to live, how can you not run?
Perhaps it is the income gap, the husband is suspicious of Liu Xu, he will quarrel with Liu Xu because of a small matter, like a child, arguing to see Liu Xu's mobile phone, and even calling Liu Xu's boss. The husband's behavior annoyed Liu Xu, and the two of them quarreled more and more, and their lives were very unsatisfactory.
Liu Xu is quite aggrieved: I am busy making money outside every day, mortgage, car loan, and your parents' food and drink and children's food and drink are all me, you still have something to be satisfied, and I am looking for things with me all the time. The child is brought with the help of the in-laws, you earn your own money to spend, do not bear anything, you have nothing to do with it.
The two men quarreled a lot, and they almost got a divorce.
The man said that he quarreled with Liu Xu because of the income gap, and said that Liu Xu felt that he earned less money, in fact, in the end, it was a matter of mentality. It was the man himself who failed to understand Liu Xu's pain. It should be good for two people to make more money, which should not be a source of contradiction between them.
If you really feel that your self-esteem is hurt, you can prove everything with actions; if you have doubts about your wife, please don't suspect and make trouble, but make yourself stronger, don't hurt each other's feelings with unwarranted doubts. A good marriage requires two people to bear, and if you blindly complain, this day will not be able to continue.
Tu Lei once said: "I don't approve of people always comparing each other, if you always compare, how can not compare happiness, but some happiness really needs to be compared to realize, if he does not make a lot of money, can your marriage live well?" Marriage without money is a no-brainer. “
Many times, the days can only be planned, and happiness can only be experienced in comparison.
There is no very perfect marriage in this world, and men and women in marriage must understand each other's suffering, make pleasure in suffering, and understand contentment. If two people can't understand each other's pain, blindly just complaining, or you pay a blind eye, if you are cold, there is no need for the marriage to continue.
A happy marriage is inseparable from the joint efforts of two people, and even more inseparable from the common expectations of two people, may more couples in this world understand each other more and complain less.
Especially men, you know, many women are not afraid of suffering or tiredness, what they are afraid of is that you turn a blind eye to her efforts and hardships.
Today's topic: How do you understand the pain and pleasure in marriage? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing about the warm emotional affairs of this world.