05.28
Woke up too early, at noon to eat enough to sleep, has been sleeping until now to wake up, the soreness of the body is a few points heavier, I don't know if it is because the morning went out to blow the wind.
Open the window, lean on the window, look at the blue sky, just as a plane flies overhead, it is so small, so small, just as people think we are very small when they look at the sky and the ground.
Take a deep breath, there is a slight coolness in the air, but it is the breath of life, it is really good, close your eyes and smile, feel everything around you, that little pain is nothing anymore.
I always eat less at night, because my appetite will be very bloated, but I must eat, otherwise I can't take chemotherapy drugs, and although my body is very sore recently, other side effects have been alleviated a lot.
When I wake up, I write sorry in the notebook and let you suffer again, although this is not my intention, I just want to make myself recover faster, but I always repeat the process of strength and weakness.
Say good to take good care of you, say good will love you well, say good will not let you hurt, do not make you sad, but I did not do it, please forgive my willfulness, I just hope you can get better soon.
I will always hold your hand and never let go, and the warmth you want I will definitely give you, thank you for your trust and companionship, and thank you for never giving up working hard with me to fight.
Although a person can sometimes be a little lonely, but a person is also a kind of happiness, although there are not too many surprises in a simple life, it can shield a lot of complex thoughts, the thinking is simple, and everything is not so entangled.
I'm used to eating alone, walking alone, arranging my life alone, warming my heart alone, and what you want to do can always be done, and in order to live and win the final victory, I can be that brave self.
Friends always ask me why I don't go home with my parents, have a care for each other, at least have a hot meal, and it is good to have someone by my side when I am uncomfortable, but if that is the case, I may have to cry secretly when I am sad.
I also had to try to endure and cover up when I was unwell, and I couldn't even show my pain, because my pain might bring more uneasiness and sadness to my family, which was not what I wanted.
And a person's me, on the contrary, can cheer up well, try to take care of myself, even if sometimes it is particularly uncomfortable, I do not have so many concerns about facing it, so I also have more motivation and courage.
No road is particularly easy to take, especially this road to cancer.
Yesterday listened to a sister said that the headlines of Teacher He has not been updated for a long time, the same is a cancer patient, but she chose a different treatment path, from last year found the transfer she did not want to treat, want to leave more money for her son, dragged to this year, she is still admitted to the hospital.
My sister is very sad, and she has advised her many times, but she missed the best treatment opportunity, the reality is cruel, there are indeed many difficulties on the way to treatment, the biggest difficulty must be economic difficulties, but as long as people are still alive, money can always be earned, and without life, we have nothing.
So the importance of standardized treatment, I don't want to repeat it again and again, but we must not over-treat this is also very important, how to treat appropriately, we must have the main heart, so I rejected a lot of friends kindly reminded of the combination of traditional Chinese and Western medicine treatment and some folk remedies.
The biggest reason why I can get to this day for more than a year is that I believe in my own judgment and adhere to my own judgment, so that I did not rush to the hospital, all kinds of drugs went into battle, and I did not search and contrast on the Internet, and I maintained an indifferent heart in order to live to this day.
And more importantly, I will not lose that belief in any situation, the belief that I can live, the belief that I can recover, the belief that I can face every day happily, the belief that I can transform negative energy into positive energy.
The moment you look down, you have already lost half, but the moment you look up you also have half the chance to win again.
So when we try to move forward, we must have a positive concept and mentality, and making fun in suffering is also a kind of happiness, because experiencing life is also a kind of happiness.