First, let's take a look at the sharing of YangYang's self-emotional state: (White Deer Body customer contribution, has agreed to be public):
"When I broke up with him, I didn't expect to promote his feelings for me. Let our relationship between us quickly have a good change."
I have always felt that two people together, to be very good to tolerate each other, so a lot of things, I understand that he is busy at work, understand that he has strict management at home, even if he really does not have time to accompany me, always dragged by some things, I am just in a mess for a day or two, either he coaxed me to do it, or he came to accompany me to solve the stiffness, although it is very noisy, but it is also very good to coax, break up many times, never really separated.
It's just that over time, resentment and dissatisfaction will accumulate too much, and in this relationship outside of marriage, these feelings are easy to be magnified grievances. I know that I am very good, and there are many people chasing around me, but I just inexplicably like him, I can't put it down, and it may be a habit of time to work hard.
Although this quarrel made me determined to end all this, I knew in my heart that I had given him a chance to coax me, a window of reconciliation, according to his response. So I found White Deer and did a very deep consultation.
Under the evaluation of many parties, Bailu suggested that I don't have to worry, give him less response, weak alliance, frustrate his mentality, let him know that I am not indispensable to him, it can be easily solved, but in my later chat with him, I really let me lose my temper and completely suppress myself, and I just want to break off relations with him. But still secretly asked White Deer, is he still able to come back after I took the initiative to break up this time? To put it bluntly, what I want is that I can be cruelly separated, but he is going to come to me, if he takes the initiative to do my satisfaction and change some of the original patterns, then I may continue to be with him, if not, this time in sadness and do not want to grievance myself again, must break up.
Bailu combined with me and his specific situation analysis and suggestions, which really gave me a lot of confidence and confidence. So I really respond to each other according to the mentality of breaking up, leaving no room for maneuver. In fact, I do want to separate this relationship in my heart, it is too painful, either to reverse the status or never see each other.
Only two days later, the other party quickly "chased and blocked" me, and the white deer instructed me to think backwards towards him, and the whole network was blackened and deleted, and the more I hid, the more anxious the other party was. Under the guidance, after a "forced" conversation, I saw that the other party thought that I was just throwing a tantrum this time, and it was very resolute or clear that I wanted to separate from you, don't bother me anymore, you said that the pressure is big and I let you return to the family. All that has been passed on to the other person is that I am going to be separated from you this time. So the other party began to bombard me with sugar-coated shells through various channels, compromised, reasoned with me, correctly understood my own pressure problem, haha, in short, in the end I was full of harvest, directly counterattacked the high position.
So why is it that when you are not afraid of losing, you can put it to death and live again? It is because of the construction of mentality.
What influences your fear of losing each other?
After a large number of consulting cases, White Deer has summarized several very common causes of influence.
The first is the love brain, over-reliance on each other. Once in love, I will put all my energy on getting along with each other, and the other party's every move affects you too much, even the reason I understand, but I just can't do it involuntarily.
The second is that you feel that the value of the other person is higher than your own, and the self-esteem is low. Therefore, some inferiority psychology has been generated, and the value of the other party will be magnified. There are also some flattering personality traits that appear here. There will be a feeling that you are climbing the other side, or losing each other, so that you may not have too many choices in the future, so you will naturally use continuous efforts to make up for the gap between the two people.
The third is that they are afraid of loneliness, loneliness, weak framework, and want to be accompanied. Always afraid to do something alone, afraid to try new breakthroughs. In fact, the essence is that some people are not independent and always want others to accompany them.
Because of the fear of losing, it affects your mentality problems, the psychology of the weak. And these mentalities are not self-aware, from the subconscious mind began to affect your judgment and practice of things, your mentality is more affected by your emotional instability at this stage, which also makes you have some wrong cognition, irrational brain supplement, then invisibly also create some pressure problems.
Not only does it form a certain pressure on the other party, but it will also cause excessive stress behavior to itself.
Of course, these pressures come from - your brain, your inner drama. That is, you will over-brain supplement various scene pictures, and then carry out your own over-analysis and interpretation of the other party. Because of your excessive sensitivity, it is easy to let yourself be in a kind of information, a self-imagined emotional state can not come out, the more you think about it, the more you affect your own emotional thinking, which creates a vicious cycle, such as suspecting that the other party is cold to your situation, doubting whether the other party is like this, doubting whether the other party is really busy, doubting the evolution of grievances, accumulating dissatisfaction, serious emotions produce insecurity, and endure until the final explosive behavior.
Then your own pressure is in this process of slow emotional backlog, you will find that you have become cautious in what you do, you will be afraid of whether it is bad to do so, whether it is excessive, so that the other party will not be angry, why ignore me, why not come to coax me, is it really want to break up!!!
The pressure on the other person will actually be the same as yours. When the other party finds that you are easy to have small emotions, easy to be dissatisfied, easy to get angry, at the beginning, you will definitely think in your heart, how to provoke you, he can not get your emotional sensitivity every time, will only perceive that you may be a tantrum. Over time, the other party will feel stressed, and will also form an impatient attitude towards your sensitive emotions. What are men most afraid of? Having stress and discomfort in getting along, producing these two emotions, will make men begin to have resistance and emotional links in their hearts.
If you want to have a counterattack that is put to death and then born, the construction of your own mentality is very important, if you are only afraid of losing, you will naturally cause yourself to worry about thinking before and after, but do not blindly operate on your own, according to your own assessment of feelings, strengthen yourself, understand your own advantages, have the ability to put death and be born later, and also have the ability to attract each other to go up again.
Original is not easy, check the release time can tell who the original author is, thanks to the support of each deer fan.
#Third Party##Extramarital##Little Three##情人 #