I once heard such a sentence: life has both length and width, and when you live to a certain age, you will understand that it is difficult for you to control the length of life, because no one can control the life span of people, but the breadth of life is how much you can achieve, how much value and meaning you can live, but it can be controlled by yourself.
I think this sentence makes a lot of sense and shares it with you. Many people's wisdom in life needs to be slowly understood through the accumulation of time, but in fact, our ancients have long summarized some things, such as the "I Ching" there are many summaries of the wisdom of life.
I Ching
There are three very interesting gua in the I Ching, especially for middle-aged people, there is great inspiration, which can be called the three wisdoms necessary for the success of middle-aged people, these three gua tell us: when people reach middle age, they should have "three recognitions", which three recognitions? To: admit guilt, admit defeat and admit mistakes.
At first glance, this "three recognitions" seem to be relatively negative, especially the recognition of right. Many people think that confession is a very despicable thing, and confession is to think that they are unlucky or a spineless person, but the I Ching's Xi Kangua tells us that confession is actually a kind of wisdom.
Xi Kangua is the twenty-ninth gua of the I Ching. Xi means repetition. Because this gua is the same gua, the upper gua is the ups and downs are also the ups and downs, and there are bumps above the ups and downs, and the metaphor is full of dangers.
We often say that life will always encounter several obstacles, there is no obstacle that cannot be crossed, but the most difficult obstacle is probably the obstacle that people encounter in middle age. Middle-aged period to the key stage of life, there are old and young, at this time encountered obstacles, often the most dangerous, the most sad, then this hurdle, how to live?
Let's look at Xi Kangua, up and down two hurdles, kan for water, what is the characteristics of water, is weak, the Tao Te Ching says that "the world is not softer than water, and the strong mo can win", so when encountering ups and downs, we must also use the strategy of external softness and inner rigidity to deal with it.
At present, it is advisable to fight and not to fight, and the "peace" at this time is to admit encouragement, because this hurdle is too dangerous, you can't bear the consequences of risk, then of course, you must admit it, admitting encouragement is not an escape, nor is it cowardice, it is a principled and bottom-line reconciliation with the difficulties that are right, temporarily let go, Taoguang and obscure, in order to find another opportunity to cross the past.
For example, the early policy of the Western Han Dynasty toward the Xiongnu was a compromise, because you could not defeat others, and when it came to Emperor Wu of han, the Xiongnu could not find the north, but if there was no original compromise, there would be no later strength, so sometimes appropriate recognition is not a shame, but a compromise wisdom.
The thirty-fourth gua of the I Ching is called the Great Zhuang Gua. Strong, as the name suggests, is a very strong and powerful state, if a person's life expectancy can live to ninety-one hundred years old, then this stage of middle age, just big and strong. The explanation of the big strong gua is: don't be arrogant.
Be strong, although strong, but don't "act rashly". The words of the Nine-Three Lords say: The villain uses strength, and the gentleman uses recklessness; chastity, the sheep touch the domain, and the horns are broken. What do you mean? That is to say, small talents will fight to be strong and competitive, and gentlemen will not do this.
He made an analogy, an arrogant ram constantly ramming the fence with its horns, but the seemingly fragile fence is difficult to break through, the ram does not accept defeat, attacks again and again, and the last two horns are stuck in the fence, exhausted, dilemma, this is the result of being strong and not accepting defeat.
When the ancients interpreted the great and strong gua, they said: People must know how to be strong, because if things are strong, they are old. People in the heyday of the period are often overwhelmed, knowing the end, that is, the right to stop, know how to bow their heads and admit defeat at the right time, so Lao Tzu said: Know the end is not lost. Just like the ram, it is strong and competitive, and eventually puts itself into trouble that is difficult to get out of, but if it knows how to concede defeat, it can actually retreat from the whole body.
In the I Ching, there is a big over-gua, and there is a small-passing gua, a big over-gua and a small-scale over-gua-
In fact, the meaning of "passing" is very complicated, both faults and faults, but also through the meaning of crossing over, when encountering obstacles, we have to find a way to cross the past, our own road is not good, then it is possible to "borrow" with others.
So what is "over"? To pass is to let the mistakes you have made become the past, rather than to go with them all the time. People are bound to experience making mistakes, how to make mistakes become past experiences, that is, first of all, to admit mistakes.
When people reach middle age, dignity is very important, face is very important, and they often die without admitting mistakes, so this mistake cannot pass, and they will always follow you. Fault is wrong, only those who can get by are called wrong, and those who can't get by are called "disasters"! Therefore: learning to admit mistakes is to avoid disasters.
People have three "confessions" in middle age: admitting encouragement, admitting defeat, and admitting mistakes, but remember: don't "admit your fate" no matter what!