Full text: 3210 words
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
What is the essence of education? Education is life, and education is the process of life, not the preparation for future life.
----- dewey, a famous American educator
It took 3 days to read this "Stable Mother Has Power" for the first time.
Supposedly, the book is less than 200 pages, according to the speed of reading the book, 2-3 hours can be read, but I chose to read a few pages a day, so that the fragrance of the book fermented in the heart more aroma.
This book is one of the last two books to read in 2021, and the other is also written by Chinese TW writers, Jin Weichun's "There is only one thing in life". It is amazing that these two books actually confirm each other!
Elder Jin said that there is only one thing in life, which thing? It is to "live yourself well"; Ms. Cai's book also exudes the true meaning of parents living well and working well, which is to demonstrate to their children.
Before reading this book, I was also worried about the tendency of children to be electronic, and I also talked to parents about "children without electronic products, as if they don't know how to make themselves happy". At one time, I was also uneasy about the convenience of getting everything in modern society, and everything could be solved by "buying, buying, buying".
Coincidentally, these hidden worries and opinions of mine coincide with Ms. Cai, and it makes me feel a sense of happiness of "meeting Zhiyin"! I am willing to take the time to read it carefully, trying to feel the power behind the author's words.
Ms. Cai is a TW woman, perhaps because of this, I always feel that when I am reading, she is opposite me, with that kind of warm tone, telling the most common family trivia, but always revealing the philosophy and thinking of life.
Ms. Cai Yingqing
Not only is she a multi-best-selling author, she has also run 8 restaurants and is the mother of 2 girls. So in this book, you can not only see Ms. Cai from the four parts of "teaching by example, food education, conduct guidance, and speech", teaching us how to use family life to start the inspiration of cultivating children's life ability, but also equipped with pictures and production steps of Ms. Cai and the children to make meals together.
TW's word creation is slightly different from the mainland, and from the perspective of words, it also brings me a lot of freshness.
This "Stable Mother Has Power" is my second Ms. Cai book, the first "My Job is a Mother", and I didn't realize how this book would affect me.
In November, when I started to go on the path of reading bloggers, sharing and re-reading the homeschool books I had read, I found out that I had earned! (Attached book review [The original mother can be like this: stability is greater than everything - today's headlines https://m.toutiao.com/is/RWPk1gd/)
Today I share the 3 aspects of this book that I feel the most deeply, and I hope to bring a little inspiration to you who are mothers in front of the screen:
People often say I'm impatient. For example, when mr. he hung up the emergency room, he did not know when the doctor would come, and he was anxious about Mr. Qin's injury, ignoring the white eyes of the nurse brother at the front desk, and repeatedly asked the time of the doctor's arrival. The other party's reply was "I'll be there in a minute, wait a minute", I went to ask for the third time, and then I was told that "the doctor is doing a suture, it will take a while to receive the treatment, patience and so on." ”
Am I really impatient, or is it a helpless choice in a hurry?
Reading the section "Homework Hidden at the Bottom of the Pot", I have the answer.
"Patience is based on 'waiting', but it is never idle, or waiting without knowing why. Therefore, if adults can help children find ways to promote the success of things through observation while waiting, then 'waiting' will not be so painful, and 'patience' will also turn to the next more positive concentration, and the attitude of not being afraid to wait. ”
When I didn't have the patience to wait, I was actually worried about whether this was a casual remark from the front desk, the panic of not knowing how long to wait, and the idleness of waiting also overwhelmed me.
The author tells a small story in the book:
She took a few children to make a main dish called "fried tofu slices fried sesame sauce", fried tofu requires patience, so there are always children because of lack of patience, either fried enough, or fried paste.
If our children do not do well, parents may have been impatient to hate their children for being impatient. But Ms. Cai did not blame the children, but said to them: "Wait until you can gently push the tofu with a shovel, and then turn it over, so that the surface water is scattered, and the tofu will be beautiful." ”
Parents are anxious, don't they think that their children are learning too slowly? Think that the child is learning slowly, so reprimand. But is this really the child's fault? Time is just a feeling, you feel fast is fast, you feel slow is slow. Between fast and slow, it depends on what information you want to pass on to your children, rather than blindly rejecting it.
The author teaches the child to observe carefully, find out the way to promote the tofu to fry quickly, and the child will soon learn to fry the beautiful and delicious tofu through practice. Or a few other children, knowing the method but still fried paste, the author let her fry 3 times, and finally succeeded! Children taste the joy of success and will love to do it more and more!
On the other hand, when we face the "impatience" of our children, have we used such a method to replace scolding?
It turns out that waiting with peace of mind and clarifying the facts is patience, that is, through observation, to find a way to speed things up, rather than blindly comforting yourself and "waiting for the flowers to bloom.".
We often see such a scene: many parents carry school bags for their children on their way to school or school. Although this is commonplace and even an unconscious behavior, there is a hidden danger of "serving" children. I also watched an angry news: a mother knelt in front of her son who played a game, and the son sat in a chair next to him, not feeling embarrassed at all, let the mother kneel for an hour, and also took a photo to send to the circle of friends, with the text: Happy every day. ”
How, to see my mother kneeling in front of me, still very proud?
The child's behavior was so infuriating that he was speechless to his kneeling mother.
Mourn their misfortunes, and anger them.
A kneeling mother cannot raise a standing son.
Is this still Mom?! I really treat myself as a child slave, and my mother's dignity is shattered! Today's bottomless doting on children, tomorrow will only make children lose the principle of being a person, and when they grow up, they will not understand gratitude and pay.
Kneeling mother, indifferent son
This is the typical "using service to make up for love is the next strategy in parenting" in Ms. Cai's book. As a parent, you must not only understand your child from the perspective of your child, but more importantly, respect yourself! We can be the cheerleaders of our children, but we must not be the "servant servants" of our children!
Parents and children are also a two-way journey. A bottomless effort on one side must raise a self-centered child, a child who is accustomed to service, who has no opportunity to practice the method of taking care of others, and who grows up and does not know how to fulfill their own responsibilities.
"We say 'suffering sees true friendship', between parents and children, don't we also have to see the truth from responsibility one day?"
I often wonder, how did such a perfect lady come to be? What kind of environment did you grow up in?
1 After reading these two books, I seem to have the answer
Ms. Cai's 4 sisters, from childhood, followed her mother, helped to wash vegetables in the kitchen, plucked chicken feathers, even if the schoolwork is heavy, they must complete their own household responsibilities;
She did not stay on campus for 4 years of college to work, just to stay with her mother for a while longer. As soon as I got home, I was busy making food for my family, cleaning the house together to prepare for the New Year, and never shirking the obligations of a daughter;
Ms. Cai, who is a mother, runs a children's cooking class and makes some achievements. When the results are reported to the 80-year-old mother, the old mother is full of appreciation and joy...
Under the teaching of her mother, Ms. Cai also passed on food and education to her 2 daughters, and I saw what inheritance is.
The 2 daughters are not only intimate and excellent, love Chinese culture, but also love to do housework, will be considerate of the family, love the elderly, and understand etiquette.
It can be said that the kitchen is the harbor of warm memories of the family, and it is a "school" that cultivates patience, logic and consideration for the family.
Now, I also try to make a "", learn to make cupcakes, fancy hand cakes, and get up early for a month to make breakfast for my girlfriend. Watching my family eat a hot breakfast and go out fully, I also felt relaxed and satisfied that I had fulfilled my responsibility as a mother and wife.
Cupcakes
I am also more and more willing to go out of my own small world and spend more time with my family and friends.
2 The hardest lesson: cherish
In the era of material scarcity, things will not be easily discarded, and the seams will be repaired for three years; now the dazzling of material life makes us consciously or unconsciously rise up in arrogance: if it is broken, buy it! What's the big deal!
But not everything can be "bought".
The connection, story, feeling, and tacit understanding of the object are not so easy to find.
Adults often say that children do not know how to cherish items, do not considerate parents and mothers, and always hope that others will do a lot of service to him.
Now, in order to set an example for my children, I have slowly developed the habit of trying not to buy as long as there is something at home, and trying to make good use of items.
In the past, there were often endless dishes at home, broken, and thrown away, which was a pity and a pain. Now I try to wash and cut the dishes that are easy to break as much as possible, so that I don't forget that there is this dish, which will break and be thrown away.
That day Sweetie said that she wanted to buy a red pen, I said no need to buy a pen, there are many pen tubes at home, I just need to buy you a refill. I bought three refills for three dollars, found an unused barrel from my pen holder, and put it on her.
Unconsciously written more than 3,000 words, a good book will always have a sense of aftersound around the beam, afraid of missing its good. Life is plain and simple, full of fun and hope, isn't this the day that mothers like?
Although I admire Ms. Cai, I can't help but wonder, has she ever lost control of her emotions? Have you ever beaten or scolded a child? After all, such an all-round and "perfect" mother is too rare!
Suddenly I had the idea of meeting myself, and if I could talk in person, it would be a great honor! If you also enjoy this book because of my sharing, I really feel like I've done a good thing!